If this weather holds up, I’m gonna reassemble the plastic Christmas tree and make up a steamy batch of wassail, which I will then dump on tomorrow’s predicted accumulation of snow, not so much for all my dead homies – mostly to clear the walk in front of the house.
Instead of fun outdoor activities – for instance, the bicycling, kayaking and horseback riding that all those older dudes enjoy in that one Flomax commercial – I’m enjoying an extended season of my favorite indoor hobby: reproducing artistic masterworks in Microsoft Paint.
In the frigid spirit of the goddamn season, today I spent about 15 minutes rendering “Christmas Evening,” by the Painter of Light™, Thomas Kinkade. If you can guess which version is the original and which is my digital reproduction, send me an e-mail and maybe I can come up with some sort of prize:
Because this frosty new season they’ve inserted between winter and spring doesn’t yet have its own holidays or traditions, here is a list of activities that should keep you occupied until the spring thaw comes, with its proliferation of baby ducks, paddle boats and exposed ankles:
FRIDAY
Being there: Experiencing Place and Nonplace, films by Peter Hutton, Tacita Dean, Emily Richardson, and Franziska Lamprecht and Hajoe Moderegger, screening as part of the Electromediascope series at Atkins Auditorium at the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art (4525 Oak, 816-561-4000). It’s free, and it’s inside (7-9 p.m.).
SATURDAY
There’s a great exhibit of paintings by Travis Pratt at the Late Show Gallery (1600 Cherry, 816-474-1300). They’re kind of like pseudo-architectural isometric views of houses with a moody color pallet, and they would (in my amateur opinion) be difficult to reproduce in Microsoft Paint. The gallery is open from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Also: There’s a “mini used book sale” at the Plaza Branch of the Kansas City Public Library (4801 Main, 816-701-3481). It continues through Sunday.
SUNDAY
Yoga Master Mark Blanchard is opening a yoga studio in Overland Park: Progressive Power Yoga (3665 West 95th Street, 913-206-3528). As far as exercise, I prefer a fistful of creatine powder, followed by a protein shake, followed by tossing around the medicine ball. But I hear this Mark Blanchard is really on to something with this whole stretching deal.
Beyond that, it’s supposed to be 62 degrees on Sunday, so I’m probably popping some Flomax and going for a bike ride. Have a great weekend – Seacrest out.
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