Tomorrow night's ninth episode of the Garth Brooks Down Home Country Jamboree will be broadcast live from the Sprint Center to 300 movie theaters around the country for the benefit of people who are into watching concerts by proxy in movie theaters. Ordinarily, we’d make fun of this kind of person by resorting to a crude stereotype, but literally nobody we’ve ever met or heard about would ever pay money to watch a projected concert on a movie screen. It’s something that lies at the edge of imagination, like some kind of H.P. Lovecraft Color Out of Space deal.
Reportedly, the broadcast will include sweeping, David Lean-style shots of the Kansas City skyline, shot a night early from a helicopter, and Mayor Funkhouser is urging area residents and businesses to leave their lights on all night. In other words, Funkhouser is so concerned about impressing a slender demographic that would actually consider paying money to watch a movie theater’s simulcast of a puffy country musician that he’s disregarding the desperate warnings of climatologists.
For Dane Cook’s appearance on November 25, perhaps the mayor’s office could urge all area residents to start their car engines, close their garage doors and wait for blissful sleep. JUST A JOKE. The Mayor’s office actively discourages all forms of suicide and also cutting behavior. Into every life a little Dane Cook must fall, and, like a lengthy series of concerts by Garth Brooks, he, too, will eventually pass.
After the jump, the extremely weird press release from the Mayor’s office:
News from the Mayor's Office
City of Kansas City, Mo.
www.kcmo.org
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: November 13, 2007
Mayor Funkhouser encourages downtown Kansas City
to leave the lights on TONIGHT for Garth
Wednesday night is the final of nine amazing concerts in Kansas City by legendary performer Garth Brooks.
It will be broadcast live to more than 300 movie theaters around the world.
The broadcast will incorporate images of Kansas City's downtown skyline shot from a helicopter. Those images are going to be filmed between 9 p.m. and midnight tonight!
Garth Brooks has done so much to bring attention and excitement to the Sprint Center and downtown Kansas City. It seems a small gesture on our part to return the favor by helping to light up his concert production.
So if you have an office downtown, leave your lights on when you exit tonight, just this one time. -- Chris Packham
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You have got to be kidding me! how the hell can you make fun of this sincere gesture. Check his new album song titles maybe you'll understand what "leave the light on" means. On the other hand, someone like you probably can't comprehend the meaning.
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