By CHRIS PACKHAM
• The Pitch sister paper The Village Voice has an exposé about fake pretend reality television that will chill you to the bone. Specifically, the bone that enjoys watching the American Iron Chef. I know, I know, reality is a construct and reality TV is an even more constructed construct, and we all know it. But seriously: TV is a liar who lies, and we're all really, really easy to trick.
• St. Mary's Academy headmaster Father Vicente A. Griego now says that female basketball referee Michelle Campbell was never told that there was any issue with her authority over boys. He now says that, out of deference to ladies, the boys would have felt inhibited on the court by their fear of slamming into a woman and causing her to explode into a lilac-scented cloud of flower petals.
• In an article John McCain's lawyers have been trying to smother for a while, The New York Times implies that the senator might have been sexing up lobbyist Vicki Iseman with some old-man sex. Maybe! "A female lobbyist had been turning up with him at fund-raisers, visiting his offices and accompanying him on a client’s corporate jet," says the McCain-endorsing New York Times. "It is a shame that the New York Times has lowered its standards to engage in a hit and run smear campaign," says The New York Times endorsement-accepting McCain campaign. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle.
• Independence teen's mean parents won't give him any money. So he allegedly hires someone to murder them. Now he's going to learn an important life-lesson about what happens in D-block when you cross the Aryan Brotherhood prison gang.
• State gaming regulators voted to fill the casino-shaped hole in Sugar Creek by accepting applications for a casino in Sugar Creek.
• An Overland Park man died playing Russian Roulette. The Pitch reminds readers that blackjack played with perfect basic strategy has much better odds than Russian Roulette, so gamble responsibly. If you think you have a Russian Roulette problem, call the compulsive gambling hotline at 1-888-BETS-OFF.
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Many thanks for spending some time to go over this, I feel strongly about this and love learning more about this topic. If possible, when you gain expertise, would you mind updating your blog with additional information? It is rather helpful.
Sirs,
I would like to draw your attentrion to the fact that while John McCain, prominent Vietnam War..er, Action..okay: Vietnam Illegal Invasion and 10 Year Occupation Veteran and POW may have been having man-sex with one Vicki Iseman, the reverse is not, ipso facto, necessarily true.
If I may point you to a recent photo of "Ms. Iseman" here -
http://cache.viewimages.com/xc...
- it quickly becomes obvious that "Ms. Iseman's" anatomy is somewhat..unusual; please note the blatant dual 'outtie' belly buttons. This is proof solid of "Ms. Iseman's" alien origins. John McCain has been "sleeping" with an alien!
This would not normally be an issue. In fact, most of his contemporaries would laud him for leaving the House and Senate pages alone. However, this IS an election years and 2 things bear further investigation:
1. How will this effect - should America foolishly elect this whoremaster President -
McCain's stance on illegal aliens?;
2. Assuming the dual belly button thang is replicated elsewhere, where did John McCain "go" and when did he know he "went" there?
Please give careful attention to this matter.
Best Regards,
Jaun
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