By CHRIS PACKHAM
High, Hard and Inside: Yael T. Abouhalkah, who does not approve of higher water rates or new sales taxes to pay for the estimated $3 billion cost of an upgraded sewer system, is surprised to see polls reflecting support for a half-cent sales tax to pay for the fix. Also: Is Yael phasing out his old tagline? If so, can I have it? I saw this on Prime Buzz this morning:
The caption used to be "High, Hard and Inside." If he's done with it, I'm going to need new business cards.
Anyway, WDAF Fox 4 reports that the sewer system is now pumping fecal coliform and e-coli, the Riggs and Murtaugh of gram-negative bacterial pathogens, directly into Brush Creek. I pretty much assume Fox 4 considered the possibility of spraying Brush Creek with fluorescing chemicals and then using the news chopper to shine a giant black light on it, which would actually have been a very pretty display for Plaza shoppers, if you think about it.
The smell of hate: Universally loathed Overland Park-based Sprint has fecal coliform in the Brush Creek of its customer service department. BusinessWeek has a big ol' story about Sprint's gutting of customer service following the completion of the Nextel merger, and it's a delicious umami broth of interviews with customer-service reps treated like children (monitored bathroom breaks; "I hear McDonald's is hiring!"), the nightmare stories of customers and executive-level decisions that turned the customer service into an unscrupulous sales department. FIVE BAGS OF POPCORN!
Marvel vs. DC: Venerable civil rights figure Rep. John Lewis of Georgia, a superdelegate, has switched his superdelegate supersupport to Sen. Barack Obama. Here is Lewis pictured with Sen. Hillary Clinton:
Also applies to Cheeseburger Jerry: The flu is filling Kansas City hospitals right now due to a largely ineffective vaccine this year. Distinguishing between influenza and the common cold can be difficult, but if you're suffering from body aches, coughing, sneezing, extreme coldness, fever, nausea, vomiting, fatigue and severe congestion, please stay the fuck away from me.
Although your mom thinks it's a hoot: Anachronistic irrelevance Wired magazine hired a formerly funny blogger named Lore Sjöberg to be its humor columnist, an editorial bat mitzvah whereby Sjöberg blossomed not into a woman but rather into smelly old unfunny Dave Barry. This week's hilarity involves really sticking it to the lyrics of an innocuous 20-year-old Madonna song — edgy! It's a 700-word marathon of unrelieved despair. So, y'know, fair warning.
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