As a courtesy to fans, band managers, radio personalities, members of the clergy, Mennonite farmers, door-to-door vacuum cleaner salespeople and others who were shocked and appalled to read of the sordid misadventures of New York, New York, popular music recording artist Matt Pond on the night of March 29, 2008, at the Record Bar, in Kansas City, Missouri, the editors of this blog have removed all details of the night, save the following photos and snippets of dialogue (sans attributions), taken by the post's original author, Crystal K. Wiebe, who, it should be noted, did at the time inform Pond and associates that she was a writer for The Pitch and would be filing a report of the evening, thereby obtaining their assent for her to proceed in good conscience.
However, because we at The Pitch fear for the youth of this country and recognize the power of after-hours-rock-and-roll reportage to occasionally and unintentionally drive wedges into the mighty trunk of this nation's moral character; and because we do not wish our writers, readers, or the drunken wannabe rockstars we write about to be haunted unto their dying day by one seemingly minor but in fact morally corrupt blog entry, we have amended this entry -- for a better tomorrow.
“Do you guys like Aerosmith?”
Just in from LiveNation...
YESRETURNS TO THE CONCERT STAGE TO CELEBRATE THEIR 40th ANNIVERSARY
Wednesday, August 6
Live at Starlight Theatre
Tickets on sale this Saturday, April 5 at 10 am!
Reserved Tickets*: $39.50, $59.50, $75 and $150
(price does not include Ticketmaster service charge)
This begs the question: What kind of Yes fan are you?
Are you a roundabout geek?
Or are you the owner of a lonely heart?
Anyone recognize these Kings of Leon-lookin' motherfuckers? They crashed Saturday night with Pitch cartoonist Josh Ziegler's upstairs neighbor and stayed up until 4 a.m. jamming on the Who and the Beatles. In the morning, Ziegler sniped 'em.
(Three more shots after the jump.)
Back to the Block
Sunday, March 31
The Record Bar
by NADIA PFLAUM
Last night, Vert from the Record Bar hosted a bear of a hip-hop show, featuring the Bluez Brothers (aka Deuce and Lou of the Soul Servers), the Soul Providers (Reach, D/Will, Hozey-T, Les Izmore), James Christos with Gunn Jakc and the True Spittaz, Heet Mob and Dutch Newman.
The sets were tight, and so was the footwear; a dude named Dietrich won $50 in the sneaker contest for his custom shoes with blue-light ground effects, narrowly beating out a pair of rare Bambi dunks.
By ANDY VIHSTADT
D.C. Cab
Death Cab for Cutie returns with Narrow Stairs on May 13. Listen to the first single “I Will Possess Your Heart” at the group’s MySpace page, and check out a live acoustic version of another new one below.
Death Cab for Cutie: “Cath…(acoustic live)” MP3 courtesy of Pretty Much Amazing
On the Side
Alex Turner (Arctic Monkeys) and Miles Kane (the Rascals) are the Last Shadow Puppets. The duo’s debut LP, The Age of Understatement, releases in the US on May 6. Check out the video for the title track and first single, here.
Carbon/Silicon
Saturday, March 29
The Record Bar
Photos by SCOTT SPYCHALSKI
Words by CRYSTAL K. WIEBE
Ha ha, Chicago! Kansas City got to play host to a pair of honest-to-God punk grandpas last Saturday night. Mick Jones (the Clash) and Tony James (Generation X) stopped at the Record Bar with Carbon/Silicon. The tour was supposed to stop in Chicago tonight, but according to the band’s Web site, that gig has been “posponed”. Some die-hard punk fans in Chi-town are probably pretty pissed about it.
Unlike Architects drummer Adam Phillips, they won’t get a whole stack of old Clash albums autographed by Jones. Apparently, Jones left his plush tour bus to hang out at Record Bar on Saturday afternoon and planned to mingle more after the show. When Phillips gushed about his newly signed booty, I started wishing I’d worn my vintage Clash T-shirt. (Since I hadn’t, I decided not to stick around.)
Oi, Mick.
By JUSTIN KENDALL
Yesterday’s Million Fag March against Topeka’s gay-hating preacher Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church didn’t draw a million protesters, but 418 people did show up at Gage Park to march against the Phelps family. In an e-mail to supporters, organizer Chris Love promises “next year will be bigger and better!”
Below, check out a video from the allgayallday Channel on YouTube. Or click here for an eight-minute director’s cut of one person’s entire day at the march.
By CHRIS PACKHAM
Free Mumia for the first 10 callers: Mumia Abu Jamal, dulcet-voiced radio commentator and convicted murderer, got his death sentence overturned on what a right-wing antihero cop from the 1970s would call a "technicality," but which new Pitch mascot the Gene Simmons Sex Tape would call a ROCKNICALITY! The Gene Simmons Sex Tape is an outspoken advocate for rocking, indifferent sexual encounters, rocking, and child gun safety.
Isn't he great? As the Noam Chomsky Endowed Professor of Descriptive Linguistics at Wellesley College, The Gene Simmons Sex Tape regularly wears a mortarboard. He'll be offering gun safety tips, witty asides, and -- if you're not careful -- he might just make you think. Anyway: Abu-Jamal's conviction stands, but since his prospects have improved -- specifically, to life in prison -- National Public Radio might consider hiring him for Morning Edition, the dry, chewy oatmeal of soporific early-morning news broadcasting.
Sometimes the phone rings at 3 a.m., and you want the person who answers it to understand dense, multi-layered postmodern narratives with extensive endnotes: Yes, I was looking at The Huffington Post. OHMYGODTHELIBERALMEDIA!!! So okay, while Daily Briefs fully endorses mandatory abortions ejected into medical refuse bags made from American flags, right now I want to focus on this headline and photo:
Yes, Hillary Clinton has been dodging her campaign trail creditors which I admit to thinking is kind of awesome. But what I want to know is whether or not the tall guy standing behind her is, in fact, Whiting Foundation genius grant recipient and novelist David Foster Wallace. It sure looks like him!
That would completely upend my campaign outlook. And now that I think about it, I kind of actually want the next President of the United States to be able to explain what, exactly, happened to tennis prodigy Hal Incandenza at the end of Infinite Jest. I'm not a one-issue voter, though; I'd also like to see a candidate endorse a "guns-for-fetuses" trade-in program whereby the government pays for the abortions of women who take guns from the cold, dead hands of NRA members. Now, that's liberal!
Stadiumless team dominates: The Kansas City Wizards defeated D.C. United 2-0 on Saturday, inspiring exactly zero incidents of car-tipping, including my own half-hearted shoving of a Ford Festiva. My inheritance of the "sports indifference" gene came as a heartbreaking disappointment to my football-watching dad, but I can barely work up a "smiling-and-nodding" degree of interest in American sports, let alone the uncircumcised European kind. Which, come to think of it, puts me in the same apathetic boat as most other Americans.
Gary Busey's thick helmetlike skull notwithstanding: Missouri motorcyclists are the worst in the country at wearing helmets.
By ERIC BARTON
Ah spring, that time of year when fountains fire up, tulips bloom along Troost and Royals fans ready themselves for three digits of losses once again. Pitch freelancer Chris Rasmussen, however, has come up with a plan on how to prevent a lifetime of pain for his daughter by bribing her, immersing her in all things 1985 and learning that rooting for the loser is a life lesson.
See the full plan here on the Bugs and Cranks blog, where Rasmussen is also a contributor.
BY DAVID MARTIN
How to succeed in business without really succeeding. Failed telecom executive-turned-university president Gary Forsee will make $84,325 a month for the rest of his life as part of the pension agreement he negotiated when he took the reins at Sprint. That's pretty sweet action for a CEO who ran a business that that shed customers and entered into a clumsy merger. Now that he's been put in charge of higher education in Missouri, perhaps Forsee will share his acumen with business students. Possible course topics include "Verizon? Should Have Called It Stupidizon," "Only Jerks Use T-Mobile" and "Yes, a Nice Full Head of Hair Does Make an Mediocrity Seem More Resourceful and Dynamic."
Murder, mayhem and Marmaduke. A judge convicted Terry Blair of killing six women dumping their bodies along the Prospect Avenue corridor. In related news, a decapitated dog was found in midtown. As anyone with a passing interest in crime drama knows, serial killers tend to use animals as practice for the later horrors they will inflict on humanity. In addition to damaged pets, residents are encouraged to be on the lookout for overfed clowns, acne-scarred men with "born to raise hell" tattoos and suicide crisis-line volunteers who bear a resemblance to Mark Harmon.
The kaiser isn’t happy
Ah, spring. The time a sports fan’s thoughts turn to bench-press repetitions, 40-yard dash times and Mel Kiper Jr.'s fabulous hair. The 2008 NFL Draft is less than a month
away. ESPN cameras recently captured prized defensive tackle Glenn Dorsey running, lifting and engaging cauliflower-eared Chiefs assistant coach Tim Krumrie in close combat. The Matrix-style showdown between the former Tiger and former Bengal takes place about halfway through the clip. Hiya!Dewey's Pizza (in Ohio and St. Louis), crust is doughy and light, toppings are amazing,…
Pappadeaux, Whataburger, Raising Cane's, Krystals
Portillos, Goodtimes burgers from Denver, Maggianos,
Chovy's Italian from Meadville, PA!
Is there going to be a parade?
Which out-of-town restaurant would you lobby to bring to KC?
The Gaf has closed in Waldo
OSHA orders reinstatement of Wolf Creek whistle-blower
DelHi Soul Food Buffet closes in KCK
KC Pride Festival 2013? Yes, it's still on
Pitch Taste of KC beats the weather, draws 700 hungry people
Police leave Union Station after suspicious package found
The Pitch's Questionnaire with T2 creative director Travis Schlitter