By JEN CHEN
It’s fashion week in New York, and Alex, our former Fort Scott resident, is invited to one of the shows. “Is it a good designer that I’m going to know of?” asks Simon, her gay/not-gay husband. She replies that it’s Pamella Roland. He responds with an “eww, OMG” face. Later, he says to the camera, “Just because I like clothes doesn’t mean I’m gay.”
Alex then channels Malcolm Gladwell and talks about how she’s hoping to meet a lot of high-profile people. “It’d be great to know people who are connectors,” she says. Before the show, though, Bethenny (the single Housewife who’s massively pressuring her boyfriend of six months to commit) invites Alex to get dressed by this Pamella Roland. So, they’re getting their hair and makeup done when Alex has to respond to a text from Simon. He’s asking whether he should wear dark or light-colored boots. “Oh my God, tell him he’s in the midst of a deep homosexual panic, and he should go with his instincts,” Bethenny says.
Simon goes with the brown. At the show, they meet Housewife Jill, who is indeed a Connector; she says she’ll help them out in looking into private pre-kindergarten schools for their 3-year-old. According to Simon, getting into a decent private pre-K in NYC is harder than getting into Harvard. However, Jill’s a little baffled that Simon’s even there. “You don’t see a lot of husbands at the shows,” she comments. She also notes that Alex and Simon seem a little bit nervous,
which “may come off as ‘trying too hard.’” In the meantime, Bethenny’s fascinated/horrified by the fact that Simon, who’s sitting behind them in the second row, stands up and massages Alex’s shoulders during the show. “They’re attached at the hip,” she says. “They’re totally co-dependent.”
Next week: Bethenny says that Alex overcompensates for her insecurity by being pretentious. And Jill says that their kids will get their asses kicked in school for their pretentiously twee names (François and Johan).