Friday, April 25, 2008

Chiefs: Possible New DE Exactly Like Previous One

Posted By on Fri, Apr 25, 2008 at 1:48 PM

By CHRIS RASMUSSEN

Countdown to Old Guys Reading Names to Other Old Guys, Part III: Chiefs Seek Rebound Relationship With Trophy Defensive End

The Chiefs' relationship with Jared Allen ultimately became irreconcilable due to constant arguments over finances. As with anyone who marries a divorcée, Allen's replacement faces a daunting task of attempting to build a healthy relationship while his partner still is struggling with memories from their past relationship.

Wikianswers suggests that the Chiefs wait a year or two before rushing into another long-term relationship, but the Chiefs might just rush into a rebound relationship anyway. Everyone's been suggesting the Chiefs take Chris Long at No. 5, so let's focus on the defensive end from Virginia.

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Like Allen, Long is a high-energy pass rusher, recording 14 sacks in his senior year and earning the Atlantic Coast Conference Defensive Player of the Year. He is, in fact, so good that Bill Parcells would have selected him if Chris Long rejected the Dolphins' contract offer earlier this week. Sports Illustrated's Peter King praises Long for using the words "malleable," "tangible," "pigeon-holed" and "debilitating" in an interview, proving Long has an above-average vocabulary for a defensive lineman and that King has very low expectations when interviewing athletes.

As the son of defensive end Howie Long, Chris had to overcome childhood trauma: frequent visit from daddy's incredibly creepy co-worker Uncle Terry and watching dad establish an unusual chemistry with "Pretend Mommy" Teri Hatcher in advertisements for Radio Shack.

Royals Drop Seven In A Row, Two In One Day

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Wow. Tonight combined frustration and sleep deprivation. In the first game, Brett Tomko allowed seven runs by the third inning and the Royals lost 9-6. Billy Butler continued his streak, reaching base in his 21st game. He has been thrown out on the base paths in half of them. Friends and family remained to watch the second game, as the cerebral Brian Bannister and his wily mathematical ways were unable to prevent a shutout by the Tribe's Cliff Lee.

Salvaging a long, depressing evening was Frank White's debut performance as a FSN baseball analyst. So I guess we've got that going for us.

Tony Peña Ineptitude Watch: Peña in 08': .136 batting average, .150 slugging percentage, .148 on base percentage. NL Pitchers in 08': .132 batting average, .170 slugging percentage, .171 on base percentage.

Days Billy Butler Has Played The Field Since Last Accident 4

Danica Patrick, Anonymous Foreigners Continue Battle of Sexes In Kansas

IRL arrives at Kansas Speedway this weekend. Last week, Danica Patrick recorded the first win ever by a woman in Indy racing at the Indy Japan 300, perhaps the only time a victory for gender equity has ever been recorded in Japan. So come to the Kansas Speedway for the left turns, stay for the history.

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