By CHRIS RASMUSSEN
Chiefs NFL Draft Recap: Carl Peterson Has Good Day, Renders KC Media Baffled And Confused
Yay. The Chiefs did a good job on Saturday and Sunday in The Most Critical Draft In Franchise History Until Next Year. ESPN's Bill Williamson describes the selection of Dorsey as the best move made by an AFC West team in the draft. John Clayton extolled the Chiefs as the biggest winner of the draft. Fox Sports' John Czarnecki gave the Chiefs an A-plus. When Jason Whitlock is praising Carl's draft, albeit suggesting that the Chiefs will go 0-16 anyway, it has been a good day for Carl Peterson.
The Chiefs picked up everything they wanted: a potentially game-changing defensive force to replace Jared Allen, the offensive lineman they craved, a corner who fits in Herm Edwards' cover-two defensive scheme and a number of projects that may well make a huge difference when the Chiefs become competitive again.
What's not to like? The fact that we are even in the position to have a good draft means that we stunk last year and probably will next season.
So, let's meet the new Chiefs:
First round, fifth pick: Despite his 6-foot-2-inch and 303-pound frame, Glenn Dorsey is extraordinarily agile and quick, a feat Dom Deluise never managed in his acting career. A motivational speaker in the off-season, Dorsey is described by the San Francisco Chronicle as "bubbly." In short, he’s a cross between Tony Robbins, Katie Couric and Warren Sapp. NFL.com, in its continued effort to provide the most anal-retentive and homoerotic of draft previews, disapproves of his muscle tone, although they stop short of calling him sloppy.
First round, 15th pick: Braden Albert, at 6-foot-6-inches and 309 pounds, offers more proof that obesity has its upside. Displaying either a lack of ambition or incredibly poor taste, Albert selected Shaquille O'Neal as the celebrity he'd like to portray him in a movie.
Second round, fourth pick: If corner back Brandon Flowers finished his 40-yard dash just .14 seconds faster, he would be a first round selection and guaranteed millions of dollars more than he is now. So think about that next time you think your performance review stresses trivial aspects of your job.
Third round, 10th pick: The Chiefs took Jamaal Charles as insurance if Larry Johnson suffers an injury or finally makes it big with his rap music career. Presumed lack of strength dropped him to the third round, as did his shoddy spelling in the NFL Draft Q&As.
Malibu went undrafted
Third round, 19th pick: DaJuan Morgan, a safety from North Carolina State, showed bravery off the field, admitting that he enjoys the Backstreet Boys. His dance moves are better, though, as this video documents:
Fourth round, sixth pick: Will Franklin, the wide receiver from Missouri, will have minimal moving expenses.
Fifth round, sixth pick: Brandon Carr, a corner back from Grand Valley State is a terrific athlete from small school. He’s a project with big upside, which is exactly how I describe myself to potential dates.
Sixth round, fourth pick: According to NFL.com, tackle Barry Richardson lacks passion for the game, which might be a bit of a problem if he chooses football as a profession.
Sixth round, 16th pick: Kevin Robinson, a phenomenal return man at Utah State, lists his favorite NFL player as Desmond Howard, which comes as a definite warning sign for Chiefs fans who actually watched Desmond Howard play.
NFL.com hearts Brian
Seventh round, 32nd pick: Mike Merritt is a blocking tight end, which is like playing offensive line with more cardiovascular exercise. He appears to be a mysterious enigma who avoids any contact with cameras, according to this draft profile.
To sum up, the Chiefs drafted two powerful linemen who might play for a decade, as well as a needed corner. They also drafted special teams players. And before one scoffs at the importance special teams: Brody Croyle still leads the Chiefs offense, so we will be using our punt coverage team on numerous occasions this season.