Now's your chance to score Coachella tickets and enough money to put your kids through junior college!
From the When-Pigs-Fly Desk, an actual press release:
COACHELLA ORGANIZERS OFFER $10, 000 REWARD AND FOUR FESTIVAL TICKETS FOR LIFE IN EXCHANGE FOR THE SAFE RETURN OF THE INFLATABLE PIG THAT ESCAPED DURING SUNDAY HEADLINER ROGER WATERS’ SET
Kansas City Chorale & Phoenix Bach Choir
Friday and Saturday, April 26 and 27, 2008
By STEVE JANSEN
On the same night that George Clinton (yes!) and Barry Manilow (double yes?) were in town, I was purposely holed up at the Church of the Nativity in Leawood watching the Kansas City Chorale and Phoenix Bach Choir perform their 2007-08 season concluding concerts. (The two groups also performed Sunday at the picturesque Redemptorist Church on Broadway.)
Sounds like a bad decision to watch music on a Saturday night in a freaking church (or to spend a weekend night in the ‘burbs, for that matter), yes? Well, actually, not at all, because by show’s end, I didn’t feel any remorse for not getting down to P-Funk or marinating my ears to the, uh, bittersweet yacht rock-ish renderings of Manilow.
For those of you who don’t know, the two groups – who are under the direction of Charles Bruffy – recently won a Grammy in the “Best Engineered Album, Classical” category. I’ve been to a number of the Phoenix Bach Choir’s shows in Arizona so I know from experience that their sound seriously transcends humanity.
The Kansas City Chorale and Phoenix Bach Choir performing last Sunday at Redemptorist Church. Photo by Jen Rogers
Every once in a while, a completed blog entry arrives in my e-mail inbox. Today's is from our theater critic.
From: Alan Scherstuhl
To: The Pitch
Date: 4/28/2008 1:40 PM
Subject: Here Is Exactly How Old I Am
When I heard that Prince covered "Creep" at Coachella, I got my ass to the YouTube.
Unfortunately, this is from the boring Prince who recorded "One of Us" and not from the sex-dwarf Prince who used to come a classic everytime he fucked a high-yellow unicorn.
My guess: He learned the song playing Rock Band.
This video, titled "Barry Manilow smokin a doobie," was allegedly taken at the singer's stop in Kansas City this past Saturday. Can anyone expound on the context? Was the joint handed to Barry by one of his many ragingly reefer-mad Fanilows? Did he ... inhale?
By JUSTIN KENDALL
Costumed thumbs wrestled Saturday night for a phallic-looking trophy. Julianne Donovan’s 2008 Festivus celebrated the quirky anti-holiday with feats of strength, torture and grievances. Click here for a look at the night in pictures.
By ANDY VIHSTADT
Coachella on Deaf Indie Elephants
The Coachella Music Festival took place over the weekend, and Deaf Indie Elephants has MP3s for those of you who weren’t tied to AT&T’s webcast coverage. Included in the postings so far is performances from Portishead, Animal Collective, Prince (covering Radiohead’s “Creep”) and select offerings from the Tegan & Sara performance. Check it out here.
Solid Gold
The months of blogger buzz behind Brooklyn’s Santogold finally pays off tomorrow. Her self-titled debut hits stores via Downtown Records. Download the xxxChange mix of “L.E.S. Artists” here, (link) and preview more of the album on MySpace, right here.
Closing off his band's CD release party this past Friday night at the Jackpot with a one-song encore, Roseline frontman Colin Halliburton donned a bra that was provided by an audience member. And, lo, the brancore was born.
The brancore is any encore that involves a borrowed bra. The bra can be worn either in the manner Halliburton demonstrates or on the head in "bramulke" fashion.
This is not to be confused with "bra-core," a style of brassiere metal that hasn't been invented; nor is it "brah-core," as typified by O.A.R. Neither of Friday night's opening acts, Fourth of July and Arthur Dodge, fit into these categories.
Send your scene snapshots to jason.harper@pitch.com
By CHRIS PACKHAM
Mark Russell would sing this to the tune of Camptown Ladies: Missouri Rep. William Lacy Clay is a supporter of presidential candidate Sen. Barry Obama, so if you were expecting him to say anything nice about the wife of the former "first black president," you are very confused but sexy, like Amy Winehouse, and also in for a giant shock: "If you have any, any kind of loyalty to the Democratic Party," says Clay to Hillary Clinton, "perhaps you need to rethink your strategy and bow out gracefully in order to save this party from a disastrous end in November."
Even The Kansas City Star's Steve Kraske is openly calling for undecided superdelegates to pick sides, and he's doing it with the grammatically correct pronouns and formal modes of address you would expect from a man whose parents' car bumper still boasts about their Honor Roll Student: "So Mr. and Mrs. Undecided Superdelegate, whom do you back for president?" he asks, adorably, serving as an example to those of us who use harsh language and ignore the who/whom distinction as a general rule.
It's tough out there for a cartoon mascot: KMBC Channel 9 says that some national right-to-life organizations are urging Johnson County District Attorney Phill Kline to run for re-election. Kline's record as the JoCo D.A. doesn't lend itself to a lot of feel-good campaign spots, no matter how you rearrange it. I even tried creating campaign literature that replaced unlovable old bureaucrat Phill Kline with Kernel Kobb, an adorable cartoon cob of corn who owns a Southern plantation, and the results were mixed at best. You can check my math:
Yep. It all looks pretty bad for Kernel Kobb, but at least he'll be able to command some high, or at least mid-range speaking fees.
You guys, sex is a big responsibility: Y'know, you don't have to have sex to be "cool." Just ask uncool Jaleel White. Contents under pressure, you guys! Jesus, listening to this was a mistake because it has been playing in my head for the last hour. Please also consider not doing drugs, not drinking, not not going to school and also please don't huff WD-40 fumes. I'll try to find awesome celebrity raps about those subjects later in the week.
By CHRIS RASMUSSEN
Chiefs NFL Draft Recap: Carl Peterson Has Good Day, Renders KC Media Baffled And Confused
Yay. The Chiefs did a good job on Saturday and Sunday in The Most Critical Draft In Franchise History Until Next Year. ESPN's Bill Williamson describes the selection of Dorsey as the best move made by an AFC West team in the draft. John Clayton extolled the Chiefs as the biggest winner of the draft. Fox Sports' John Czarnecki gave the Chiefs an A-plus. When Jason Whitlock is praising Carl's draft, albeit suggesting that the Chiefs will go 0-16 anyway, it has been a good day for Carl Peterson.
The Chiefs picked up everything they wanted: a potentially game-changing defensive force to replace Jared Allen, the offensive lineman they craved, a corner who fits in Herm Edwards' cover-two defensive scheme and a number of projects that may well make a huge difference when the Chiefs become competitive again.
What's not to like? The fact that we are even in the position to have a good draft means that we stunk last year and probably will next season.
So, let's meet the new Chiefs:
First round, fifth pick: Despite his 6-foot-2-inch and 303-pound frame, Glenn Dorsey is extraordinarily agile and quick, a feat Dom Deluise never managed in his acting career. A motivational speaker in the off-season, Dorsey is described by the San Francisco Chronicle as "bubbly." In short, he’s a cross between Tony Robbins, Katie Couric and Warren Sapp. NFL.com, in its continued effort to provide the most anal-retentive and homoerotic of draft previews, disapproves of his muscle tone, although they stop short of calling him sloppy.
First round, 15th pick: Braden Albert, at 6-foot-6-inches and 309 pounds, offers more proof that obesity has its upside. Displaying either a lack of ambition or incredibly poor taste, Albert selected Shaquille O'Neal as the celebrity he'd like to portray him in a movie.
Second round, fourth pick: If corner back Brandon Flowers finished his 40-yard dash just .14 seconds faster, he would be a first round selection and guaranteed millions of dollars more than he is now. So think about that next time you think your performance review stresses trivial aspects of your job.
Third round, 10th pick: The Chiefs took Jamaal Charles as insurance if Larry Johnson suffers an injury or finally makes it big with his rap music career. Presumed lack of strength dropped him to the third round, as did his shoddy spelling in the NFL Draft Q&As.
Malibu went undrafted
Third round, 19th pick: DaJuan Morgan, a safety from North Carolina State, showed bravery off the field, admitting that he enjoys the Backstreet Boys. His dance moves are better, though, as this video documents:
Fourth round, sixth pick: Will Franklin, the wide receiver from Missouri, will have minimal moving expenses.
Fifth round, sixth pick: Brandon Carr, a corner back from Grand Valley State is a terrific athlete from small school. He’s a project with big upside, which is exactly how I describe myself to potential dates.
Sixth round, fourth pick: According to NFL.com, tackle Barry Richardson lacks passion for the game, which might be a bit of a problem if he chooses football as a profession.
Sixth round, 16th pick: Kevin Robinson, a phenomenal return man at Utah State, lists his favorite NFL player as Desmond Howard, which comes as a definite warning sign for Chiefs fans who actually watched Desmond Howard play.
NFL.com hearts Brian
Seventh round, 32nd pick: Mike Merritt is a blocking tight end, which is like playing offensive line with more cardiovascular exercise. He appears to be a mysterious enigma who avoids any contact with cameras, according to this draft profile.
To sum up, the Chiefs drafted two powerful linemen who might play for a decade, as well as a needed corner. They also drafted special teams players. And before one scoffs at the importance special teams: Brody Croyle still leads the Chiefs offense, so we will be using our punt coverage team on numerous occasions this season.
By CHRIS RASMUSSEN
Chiefs NFL Draft Recap: Carl Peterson Has Good Day, Renders KC Media Baffled And Confused
Yay. The Chiefs did a good job on Saturday and Sunday in The Most Critical Draft In Franchise History Until Next Year. ESPN's Bill Williamson describes the selection of Dorsey as the best move made by an AFC West team in the draft. John Clayton extolled the Chiefs as the biggest winner of the draft. Fox Sports' John Czarnecki gave the Chiefs an A-plus. When Jason Whitlock is praising Carl's draft, albeit suggesting that the Chiefs will go 0-16 anyway, it has been a good day for Carl Peterson.
The Chiefs picked up everything they wanted: a potentially game-changing defensive force to replace Jared Allen, the offensive lineman they craved, a corner who fits in Herm Edwards' cover-two defensive scheme and a number of projects that may well make a huge difference when the Chiefs become competitive again.
What's not to like? The fact that we are even in the position to have a good draft means that we stunk last year and probably will next season.
So, let's meet the new Chiefs:
First round, fifth pick: Despite his 6-foot-2-inch and 303-pound frame, Glenn Dorsey is extraordinarily agile and quick, a feat Dom Deluise never managed in his acting career. A motivational speaker in the off-season, Dorsey is described by the San Francisco Chronicle as "bubbly." In short, he’s a cross between Tony Robbins, Katie Couric and Warren Sapp. NFL.com, in its continued effort to provide the most anal-retentive and homoerotic of draft previews, disapproves of his muscle tone, although they stop short of calling him sloppy.
First round, 15th pick: Braden Albert, at 6-foot-6-inches and 309 pounds, offers more proof that obesity has its upside. Displaying either a lack of ambition or incredibly poor taste, Albert selected Shaquille O'Neal as the celebrity he'd like to portray him in a movie.
Second round, fourth pick: If corner back Brandon Flowers finished his 40-yard dash just .14 seconds faster, he would be a first round selection and guaranteed millions of dollars more than he is now. So think about that next time you think your performance review stresses trivial aspects of your job.
Third round, 10th pick: The Chiefs took Jamaal Charles as insurance if Larry Johnson suffers an injury or finally makes it big with his rap music career. Presumed lack of strength dropped him to the third round, as did his shoddy spelling in the NFL Draft Q&As.
Malibu went undrafted
Third round, 19th pick: DaJuan Morgan, a safety from North Carolina State, showed bravery off the field, admitting that he enjoys the Backstreet Boys. His dance moves are better, though, as this video documents:
Fourth round, sixth pick: Will Franklin, the wide receiver from Missouri, will have minimal moving expenses.
Fifth round, sixth pick: Brandon Carr, a corner back from Grand Valley State is a terrific athlete from small school. He’s a project with big upside, which is exactly how I describe myself to potential dates.
Sixth round, fourth pick: According to NFL.com, tackle Barry Richardson lacks passion for the game, which might be a bit of a problem if he chooses football as a profession.
Sixth round, 16th pick: Kevin Robinson, a phenomenal return man at Utah State, lists his favorite NFL player as Desmond Howard, which comes as a definite warning sign for Chiefs fans who actually watched Desmond Howard play.
NFL.com hearts Brian
Seventh round, 32nd pick: Mike Merritt is a blocking tight end, which is like playing offensive line with more cardiovascular exercise. He appears to be a mysterious enigma who avoids any contact with cameras, according to this draft profile.
To sum up, the Chiefs drafted two powerful linemen who might play for a decade, as well as a needed corner. They also drafted special teams players. And before one scoffs at the importance special teams: Brody Croyle still leads the Chiefs offense, so we will be using our punt coverage team on numerous occasions this season.
Kansas House ignores Brownback, Senate, goes home early for long weekend
Oklahoma Joe's ribs named the best in the country by The Daily Meal
Story celebrates with a pig roast and other weekend possibilities
Royals fan sprints on the field, steals rosin bag
Homer's Drive-In: the oldest drive-through in the metro
Don't mess with the Army, feds remind two local businesspeople
Soundgarden's sludgy sound, last night at the Midland (review)
Parisi's Pete Licata is a World Barista Championship semifinalist