By CAROLYN SZCZEPANSKI
The theater manager worried he might be battered by handbags if he had to turn women away. An elderly security guard said he didn’t know what he’d do if the high-heeled crowd started a stampede. But the Sex and the City movie screening at the Olathe Studio 30 last night didn’t reach much of a climax.
It was easy to spot the theater in question. Three security guards stood at the door. A table of vitamin water sat outside. A herd of radio station reps wore promotional T-shirts with bright pink lettering.
Aside from a single pair of gay men — one texting away on a pink cell phone — the ticket-clutching crowd was overwhelmingly female. Some wore strapless tank tops. A couple donned neon pink mini-skirt dresses. But the majority of the crowd didn’t get too dolled up. And, as it turns out, there was plenty of space for everyone, precluding the need for any stiletto-stabbing or purse-bashing.
Once the crowd was ushered in, some frantic reps from Mix 93.3 tried to squeeze in a trivia contest during the final two minutes before a live feed from New York City. The best question: What part of Charlotte’s anatomy was the subject of a painting? More than a few women put down their free vitamin water long enough to shout the correct answer: Vagina!
Up in the press row, several of us groaned through the next 30 painful minutes. The footage from the vomit-worthy, pink-and-sparkly carpet in New York City consisted of a puffy, effeminate man screeching about the “religious fervor” surrounding the Big Apple premiere, as he interviewed the stars of the movie who were far too sedate (and sober) to be the least bit entertaining.
Once the movie started, the crowd was surprisingly calm and silent. No gasps of surprise or shrieks of delight. The biggest outburst of laughter and applause: when one of the main characters shit her pants during a trip to Mexico.
The show dragged on so long that even Fox 4’s Shawn Edwards, king of the positive review, sat poised with his hands on the arm rests, ready to propel himself out of the theater as soon as the first credit rolled.