By JUSTIN KENDALL
Irreverent comedian George Carlin
died Sunday.A coworker sent me an e-mail wondering if Fred Phelps and family were celebrating Carlin’s entrance into hell. I had no idea, so I e-mailed Shirley Phelps-Roper.
Roper was quick to reply:
We are actually talking about George Carlin – but as yet I don't see this getting anyone in the gut. You see George Carlin was just a pervert and everyone knew he was a pervert – so what is to say – he was a pervert? However, there is that part where his nonsense had some First Amendment ramification and so I am just watching and listening to see what anyone says. Now Tim Russert – that was just the B A L M!! He needed to receive a face to face God smack and to be cut off in his middle age because of the rebellion that he taught to this nation! YIKES! He tried to put big patches on the Priest Rape Children shame and he told the nation that God was a liar about the fags. Yes – fist raised, flipped off rebellion against God and HIS standards! Bad plan Tim – but then he knows that now.Stay tuned – I'll tell when we get some resolution within the day.
Thanks!
Shirley
6/23/08
As always, Phelps-Roper kept her word. I received a follow-up e-mail at 10 p.m.
Upon review of the long Carlin history and even more recent history – Carlin played a fag in The Prince of Tides – and he was speaking for fags and saying in essence that the statement to them of the standards of God caused fear and shame and more blather that equals rebellion against God in a big way.
Carlin is in hell, so we will post a video news tomorrow and we intend to picket his funeral.
Thanks!
Shirley
I was surprised Phelps-Roper didn’t mention Carlin’s role as a hitchhiker trading blow-jobs for rides in Kevin Smith’s Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back or Cardinal Ignatius Glick, who tries to make the Catholic church cool with the “Catholicism Wow!” marketing campaign, which replaces Christ on the cross with the winking, pointing, thumbs-up giving "Buddy Christ" in Dogma.
Update: Early this morning, Phelps-Roper e-mailed me the "Carlin in hell" video in which her father, Fred Phelps, calls Carlin the "filthy, blasphemer. The obscene, potty-mouthed skeptic."
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Hey Shirley,
Since you had sexual relations before you married, do you believe that you are going to Hell?
And if you don't believe you're going to Hell, could you please explain to me why you get a free pass?
I guess it's "Do I say, not as I do" ... you foul-mouthed, bigoted, hypocrit!
Love,
Godless DeValmont
Heeeeeeeeeeeey, I am not a fag! Why they always call me fag because I'm pink???
Who was the nerd that gave me that color?
Dammit, I want to change it now! I just have rights like all others, whoever gave me that color, I want another, NOW!!! Bastard! Why pink??? Why not purple, yellow, gray, blue, or even green, but not pink.
I am tired of being called a fag because of that dam color. I don't even like it!
And for your information, Religion is for people afraid of going to Hell. Spirituality is for people who's already been there! So if Carlin is now in Hell, he would come back as a spiritual man that likes Buddha, and You WBC people, fag means cigarettes and not gays. Who da hill did come up with this shit???
Heeeeeeeeeeeeey, maybe they've meant that God hates Cigarettes all the time, and we understood this crap completely wrong. I don't think God hates Cigarettes. Otherwise, where would so much clouds come from?
Dear Mr. and Mrs Perhaps
Does God hates froot loops? I mean, the little toucan in the photo looks a little like he is a fag, he has a pink nose... is pink not the color for ho... ho... how in the place where callin is was the name of those strange peoples... oh, yes... homogenizes? what? oh, sorry, I apologize, wrong country, homosapiens? what?? wrong word again??? oh, sorry, I apologize to all homosapiens... shit, ah, yes... bags... dammmmmmm, just a moment, I'll ask gugle... ... ... so, here I am again! Now: Is pink not the color for homosexualized people? I've heard it is, so... does God hate froot loops? and if it is so, does he hate the pink panther too? it's pink, I don't understand this, if he hates bags, fags, tags, whatever because they like pink, does God hates Pink too? And what's about the artist called pink, does God hates she too? Sorry, I'm just trying to understand this! And if he hates pink panther and pink and froot loops, does he hate fruity loops too? it has almost the same name! Might be that programm gay? and if he does, does he hate the djs that uses the programm too?
Sorry about my grammar, I am not an american idol you know... I am 13 and my son asked me about this and now I am trying to explain it to him, but I actually do not understand it too... Does God hate those things too because it has something to do with the color pink and with flags... and... if God hates them, why do he not hate you? I've heard a lot of times that you're one of them... it's that true? if it is, did YOU make froot loops? Please tell me, I eat them everyday and I don't want to go to Cell, I love God and if eating Fruity Loops it's a zin I'll stop, I just don't want to be a zinner, you know, my father smoke pot and my other father smoke pot too and their boyfriend who smoke pot too told me that I should ask you this! So please answer me, I don't want God to hate me because I help Kelloggs to get rich when their zinners and eggs... man, what was the damm word again??? Ah, yes... Gays... what's wrong with this persons, do they have a penny more than others? or do they have two pennys? man... I think I want to be a fag too, they have two pennys and can fack two womans at the same time. My big sister told me that would be good for the health, is that right?
Thanks mr and mrs perhaps for paying such attention to my questions... or not
Shirley, Satan called; he wants his family back and he misses his boyfriend, who is, as we're all aware, your daughter-raping father. Pitch, perhaps rethink ever again giving this cretinous, incestuous tribe of inbreeds space or ink--at least not until the whole family is systematically slaughtered in the street by some heroic soul, which, when it does happen, will once and for all prove the existence of God.
Dear Orphans of America,
do not misconstrue the words or doctrine of me or my holy warriors. We are not saying it's bad to be gay.
Heck, back in the day I spent more time on my knees praying to the magic pink meat missile than I did to Jesus. All were saying is why do they have to have such good fashion sense. Why do queers shop at sears?
So please stop putting words in my mouth; instead shove a big fat mandingo cock in there if you want me to stop talking. That should keep me busy for a couple months.
Sincerely,
Fred "Cum dumpster" Phelps
P.S. Shirley, the only reason I dick fucked your mother is cause I thought she was a tranny.
Shirley Phelps-Roper,
You should go fuck yourself because I don't give two shits and a half what you have to say. You don't scare me and your church doesn't scare me and your family doesn't scare me either. You bunch of rumrunners. The truth is, I'm not the one desperate looking for 5 million dollars and my father disbarred from the law so he could wipe your ass, you slimy little cunt! We've outnumbered you in Stout, we will outnumber you again. The Snyder family beat your ass in court, other families will beat you again the same way. There will be no Westboro Baptist Church by the time I get in the limelight. When I do, you and your cult will spent the rest of your life in the poor house or be flippin' burgers the rest of your life. Fuck You, Fuck your threats and Fuck your father!
I DON'T SUCUMB TO PRESSURE AND I DON'T SUCCUMB TO THREATS!
Dear Ms Phelps george knew he would probably go to hell. So every night before bedtime he would get into a trancindental state almost. Where he would say his prayers to god and ask for forgiveness for his sins. Now the last time I looked god gave us the ability to be forgiven 7 X 70 times in a day as long as we ask for it. I must ask lady do you ask for forgiveness every day. For the vile crap that you spew out everyday. and for the desecrations that you do when you go to the funerals of great american soldiers that lose their life in the war. By the way when you go to bed each night do you ask for forgivness or is it not a sin according to the PHELPS BIBLE to do the blasfimist sins that you do each day. Yes I do accuse you of sinning. No I am not saying you are going to hell. You may for all I know ask each night like george did to be forgiven for all his sins.
There's an old saying:
"Avoid zealots, for they are generally humorless."
I actually took the time out to meet George and thank him for his influence on my life.
Guess who I haven't taken the time to meet?
George entertained (and educated) us all without using hate.
Too bad more can't do the same.
Bahahahha, That is FUNNY. George want a drop of water? It sounds like a kids book this stuff you spout.
RIP George, you will be greatly missed. Enjoy laughing at these people.
I'm getting the view that heaven and hell must be one large auditorium with George Carlin doing his act on stage (obviously a man that evil must be in line for a staff - if not management - role)
The Phelpsian crowd (in the seats marked "Hell") is writhing in torment from being subjected to the humour, trying their hardest not to enjoy it or understand why it is funny. The rest of us are holding our sides laughing.
The Phelps clan are unevolved creatures whose lives have no value, and whom may be brushed off this planet as one would sweep away an annoyance such as a tick or jigger. They are subhuman filth that deserve the recognition and treatment that one would give to a tumor or a pus-filled herpes sore, and not a millimeter more.
G.E.O.R.G.E. C.A.R.L.I.N. = "Godless Entertainers Only Reap Godless Eternity. Consummate Atheists Reap 'Lake Inferno'* Next"
*The lake of fire, as adduced in Revelation chapter 20
I happen to fall into the category of people who think that people with extremist social agendas should be taunted into public debate and then dissected under the bright lights..sadly debate is not possible with the Phelps Fam.
Thanks Wumble.
As you can see, I'm on the side that says the public should know about the antics of Phelps and his family.
Kevin Smith's "Red State" is supposed to feature a Phelps-type character.
That works, B. My point was that I think Heller would know better than to satirize these clowns, though . . . satire is a weapon best used against the powerful.
But the more I think of it, the more I think that the Phelpses are more powerful than we might realize. Yeah, they're jackasses that even the staunchest Republican dismisses, but their overt hate-speech manages to make the subtle hate-speech and hate thoughts of more typical people seem tame by comparison.
The Phelpses make it easy to say, "I don't hate gay people. I just think they shouldn't be able to get married." Christ, it sounds almost liberal thanks to the juxtaposition.
So, yeah, maybe a talent like Heller should unload on them. Isn't Keven Smith doing so in some movie soon? That-- ugh-- probably won't help.
Sure, but "Milo" would be like their penultimate ideal of successful evangelism.
Imagine if you will a young Phelps buck dressed in quasi-fascist uniform, feeding chocolate covered cotton to the flock and uttering the words, "What's good for Christ is good for the Company."
I like the Heller connection, but it's wrong to equate any Phelps with Milo Minderbinder. The key difference: he acheived success.
I personally think of them as being like "Newsies." But really dumb and evil.
It's almost as if Joseph Heller were ghost-writing all the Phelps family rhetoric for the last 30 odd years: Circular logic, fallacy heaped upon fallacy, unprovable assertions and a spry enthusiasm for absolutist answers to ever-changing questions about the nature and purpose of the universe and the humans that populate this portion of it.
There is nothing that can happen on this planet that cannot be twisted-nay- rhetorically mutilated until it comports with the Phelps Corporation's dogmatic worldview.
I'm not sure which Phelps is "Milo Minderbinder" and which one is "Nately's Whore" or "Colonel Cathcart" at this point in the metaphor...but I trust that the literati of Kansas City will be willing to help me out in a game of "Match the Phelps To Their Counterpart Character In Catch 22"
??
Shirley, does it count if you get a blow job by someone dressed as a girl? I was drunk. Surely God see's the humor in that right?
I don't know. I'm back and forth on being completely sick of hearing from these people and completely amused by the dry, sarcastic reporting here.
The line "As always, Phelps-Roper kept her word" is hysterical.
Carlin can handle these jackasses. But he deserves a better send off than the clip from fucking useless-ass Dogma, for Christ's sake.
Shirley,
Your pickets, protests, pissing contests, will not change anyone's oppinion. Are you intending to set examples at the funerals of dead soldiers or homosexual men? You are only building resentment towards "your" God. You type your responses and lead your protests with such anger and sarcasm that you message becomes (much like your church) a joke. There is no genuine concern for well being in your actions only a poking and prodding that is usually reserved for junior high bullies.
You and your Cult are quickly becoming irrelevant and I'm sure you see Carlin's death as the perfect opportunity to thrust your ignorant views back into the spotlight...problem is, once again, nobody cares anymore.
Love,
A
Yikes - such bitterness! And a coward to boot! This is a nation full of heros that hid behind their anonymous computers and spit the most hateful words and then have the big fat audacity to call us hateful because we warn you that if you don't obey your God, you are going to hell and all the bile you have to belch will NOT change that!
BTW while we are on the subject of George the perv Carlin, he is of course going to receive a nice award in November. What is that about?! Is this mic on?? The guy is in hell - what good do you think this award will be for him now? By the time November comes around, the dude would be most grateful if you could get a drop of water to him - if that is the award AND you can overturn the plain words of God and get that water to him, now you are talkin!!
Check it out now:
Luke 16:19 � There was a certain rich man, which was clothed in purple and fine linen, and fared sumptuously every day:
20 And there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, which was laid at his gate, full of sores,
21 And desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell from the rich man�s table: moreover the dogs came and licked his sores.
22 And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham�s bosom: the rich man also died, and was buried;
23 And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.
24 And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.
25 But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented.
26 And beside all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed: so that they which would pass from hence to you cannot; neither can they pass to us, that would come from thence.
27 Then he said, I pray thee therefore, father, that thou wouldest send him to my father�s house:
28 For I have five brethren; that he may testify unto them, lest they also come into this place of torment.
29 Abraham saith unto him, They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.
30 And he said, Nay, father Abraham: but if one went unto them from the dead, they will repent.
31 And he said unto him, If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, though one rose from the dead.
Your best friend,
Shirley Phelps-Roper
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