By CHRIS PACKHAM
When punctuation fails: The Kansas City Star's Yael T. Abouhalkah posts about a
"shocking" JoCo sales-tax development. When I clicked on the link, I immediately realized that Yael didn't actually mean "shocking." He meant
As in, with little air quotes. Overland Park and Olathe elected officials are hustling to put a quarter-cent sales-tax increase on the August ballot, but without telling voters how they plan to spend the money; Yael is communicating, via punctuation, his hard-bitten cynicism and directing a mildly sarcastic rejoinder to JoCo politicians. HEY, JoCo politicians: Thanks for all the transparency in governing. Oh, I mean
HAHA. You see how that works? Britney Spears making air quotes is the new Calvin pissing.
After the jump, John McCain is gonna keep pounding out the same campaign rhetoric until it starts working, damn it, plus: KMBC Channel 9 doesn't want to cite its sources. Click here, or you can click on this portrait of bewigged Sir John Baptiste de Medina, this total asshole who lived from 1657 to 1710:
Steady liver-spotted hand on the Rascal tiller: Sen. John McCain is now running to be elected Hillary Clinton, trying out some campaign tactics against Sen. Barack Obama that didn't so much work during the lengthy Democratic primary season, which you may remember dominating the news cycle from the outbreak of the Greco-Roman war until early June this year. From Politico: "The 71-year-old McCain has begun embracing his status as a known commodity, telling NBC’s Kelly O'Donnell when asked about his age on Thursday: 'They need a steady hand at the tiller. … That's what I'm going to try to convince them of.'"
Back in February, Sen. Hillary Clinton was a known commodity with her steady hand on the tiller and her steady Bluetooth earpiece connected to her 3 a.m. hamburger phone, and as it turns out, better than half of Democratic primary voters decided that they didn't want a steady-handed 3 a.m. phone answerer. IRON MY SHIRT, JOHN MCCAIN!
Top secret: As a smart, handsome man with the sculpted muscular hypertrophy of a 20-year-old middleweight, when I saw a link to a KMBC Channel 9 report on a "controversial list of drugs doctors would never take," I thought, Do they mean sports doctors? As far as my sports doctor is concerned, deca durabolin, nandrolone phenylpropionate and injectable primobol are off the table. "I would never inject those directly into my muscle tissue, and you shouldn't, either," he says. Other than those, he'll hear arguments from the Thai and Mexican pharmaceutical sales teams who enjoy limited governmental regulation of their businesses.
But the KMBC report turned out to be about boring old Celebrex and boring old Prilosec, and was inordinately frustrating, especially to a man as steroidally prone to irrational rages as I sometimes can be. I realize broadcast news has less to do with bare essentials of journalistic writing than it does with finding places to stand in front of and talk, but it's irritating that it never occurs to anyone involved with writing, reporting or editing this story to divulge the source of the controversial list. Where does it come from?
Larry Moore never mentions their apparently top-secret deep-throat source during what amounts to the broadcast news version of the "lede," and Kelly Eckerman mentions the list at the top of her story but never says where she found it. Plus, they describe the list as "controversial," but they won't say who's objecting to it. Is it Pfizer? GlaxoSmithKline? Maybe the KMBC news team is just embarrassed that they have issues of Men's Health laying around their office, because the list totally comes from Men's Health magazine, portrayed by Hal Holbrook in Woodward and Bernstein's All the President's OTC Heartburn Remedies.
If you have questions about deca durabolin, nandrolone phenylpropionate and injectable primobol, consult your sports doctor.
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WTF, that wasn't Anonymous, that was me!!!
I swear I would never intentionally use a nom de Plog other than my own.
Yeah, you must be correct this time. It is best to let the past be the past and polls be damned. I mean, Gore had a lead in the polls and lost. But only because of �faulty voting machines� and so we change them, but focus on territories packed with Democrats. It doesn�t work.
Kerry has a lead in the polls, but loses only because he is a �flip flopper� and now you point out Maverick McCain versus religious right obligating McCain. That HAS to work�the polls say so and history simply cannot repeat itself...it just can't!
So, any bets on what the excuse will be this year? My money is on the race card.
Plus, you were supposed to keep that Baha Men tattoo a secret�you saw it in a moment of intimacy that was supposed to be cherished, not broadcast to Plogland!
HAHA, Hillary Clinton has a dick, totally have never heard that one. You are truly the champagne of Jay Lenos.
Soooo... do you only base your foggy political appraisals on things that happened eight years ago? Or does the rest of your life operate that way, too? Obviously, you have no regrets about getting the Baha Men tattooed on your chest.
Poor Yael, someone ought to explain to him that the tax is actually 50% higher than it needs to be and not a third. Oh, and that us JOCOians will spend anything to ensure you MOians stay on your side of the line after dark.
Chris, man, you need to step away from the political commentary. Seriously. Hillary didn�t lose because she claimed to be a steady commodity�she lost because she was not the best man for the job�even if her penis is bigger. Plus, McCain really was shot at near an airplane, which is certain to help his cause.
But, you knuckleheads keep buying into your polls and mainstream bullshit...maybe the 3rd time will be a charm?
wtf, I didnt understand any of that??? I dont even have a vp I can route for anymore, my candidate lost, my vp isnt going to be on the ticket. Wow bummer. Good news is i think McCain is just about done, I wouldnt doubt the GOP ditch him at the last second and run a younger more charasmatic charachter. They could site his Cancer scare as the reason. I dont doubt that they will, Becuase he is becoming more unelectable by the day, with gaff after gaff. Did you see him knock all that stuff off the shelf at the supermarket. the video is at http://www.mccanes.com all the while barack obama is looking like an NBA super star, (arrogence and all) even taking time to stop and have a cigar break video at http://www.theobamaplan.com I mean really what is the GOP going to do. McCain cannot win at this point and we havnt even started the debates.
You could go to a site www.veeppeek.com to sign a petition for your favorite veep. and see where your veep stands in realation to the other veeps. Tim Kaine isnt a bad choice I guess, just not my pick.
I'm your Facebook friend. Who in my family is going to die? Please be my rich aunt Krable. I never liked the bitch.
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