From the comments:
Harold Bloom says: Bravo for your mention of Thomas Hardy's Die Hard. For curious readers, I also recommend the following:
Jane Austen's Total Recall
Charles Dickens's The Hunt for Red October
and of course, Oscar Wilde's seminal The Important of Being Earnest Saves Christmas.
Well, here it is, Day 6 of the Activia 14 Day Challenge, and I don't feel as much like Jamie Lee Curtis as I expected to, although the pooping has been great!
My new little pals, the Bifidus Regularis Gram-positive anaerobic bacteria, sure do reduce oro-fecal gut transit time, as advertised. I picture them wearing tiny little hardhats and carrying tiny little lunch pails on their way to punch in for work inside my intestines while I eat my Activia yogurt. Oh! And speaking of intestinal microbiota, the Cordish Company has come down against any light-rail plan that includes a route through the taxpayer-subsidized Power & Light Prefabricated Corporate Entertainment District in the heart of downtown Kansas City, insisting that patrons pay Cordish to park their cars in Cordish-owned lots if they want to drink beer out of plastic cups. Which they totally do! Besides, like really long buses all connected together and gliding on rails, trains would disgorge black people in dress-code-violating white T-shirts faster than the district's security detail can hustle them back out to the street. MAX riders have probably noticed not only the total lack of bus stops in the Power & Light District but also the circuitous route the MAX line takes around the district on its way through downtown.So there's that. Sen. John McCain is attempting to appeal to the demographics of the Ice Road Truckers and the Democratic women who are actually Republicans by picking Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as his vice presidential nominee without vetting her for ethics problems or Diablo Cody plot lines. Watching McCain's campaign surrogates try to sell her foreign policy expertise to reporters has been like watching puppies get clubbed, only more fun and without triggering any unhelpful feelings of sympathy. All of this is on top of a hurricane-truncated convention week. After the jump, a recap of McCain's holiday weekend, plus: Build your own Palin family. Click here, or on the 2008 Republican national ticket:
The McCain campaign shakes its malfunctioning hamburger phone, announces "eggo is preggo." Over the weirdest Labor Day weekend in the whole history of not knowing much about the labor movement, the Internet extruded some colorful Alaskan baby rumors regarding almost miraculously unvetted Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin's daughter, Bristol, who was named for beloved pharmaceutical giant Bristol-Myers Squibb (NYSE: BMY), manufacturer of Plavix® oral antiplatelet agent. Specifically, rumors that then-15-year-old Bristol Palin was actually the mother of Gov. Palin's fifth child, Trig Palin, named for a branch of mathematics that deals with triangles, and that Sarah Palin, whose name is a clever phonetic transposition of "parasailin'," hid her daughter's pregnancy and falsely claimed that she was herself pregnant.
This whole bullshit narrative is derived from a bunch of circumstantial evidence, such as assertions that Bristol was removed from school during a period that coincided with the last five months of Trig's gestation and that Sarah Palin was never noticeably pregnant during the relevant months. But it's pretty irrefutable that the Palins pick some crazy names for their children.
The Palins and the McCain camp wisely decided to quash the rumors once and for all by, uh, announcing that 17-year-old Bristol Palin is actually pregnant right now and will marry the father of her child — whose name, I'll mention without commentary, is "Levi" — and then they blamed everything on Barack Obama, because, y'know, belt and suspenders, you can never be too careful.
Also: Points to the McCain campaign for revealing Bristol's pregnancy on "Labor" day. HAHAHA! This would be a lot more zingy and vaudevillian with a siren-whistle sound effect, but unfortunately, I don't know the HTML tags for that. Lending credence to reports that Palin was totally unvetted by the McCain campaign prior to the Friday announcement is this report that Palin's spokesman didn't know about the pregnancy when he was asked about it by a reporter last Friday. Finally, Andrea Mitchell reported Sunday evening that the McCain campaign had suddenly decided to send lawyers to Alaska for belated veep vetting.
BUILD YOUR OWN PALIN FAMILY:
First, you'll need to be really, really fertile. Produce five or six kids. Then, match each baby with a name from the following list:
Bolt
Brick
Brace
Coil
Flex
Grid
Grip
Hex
Joint
Rasp
Ratchet
Shear
Snap
Stick
Torque
Tread
Trowel
Trip
Note that while all of these names were suggested by terms from the Ace Hardware Web site, somehow "Brad" sounded too normal and not very Palinish.
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Ok, look, if you are NOT going to talk about HTML and continue to stick to the real story, how in the hell is Mr. Packham going to get anywhere?!?!?! He NEEDS this HTML chat�it is his security blanket after loosing his tuxedo.
That said, WildAl, you forgot to mention that if the Democrats are going to bail on all the progress Hillary made for non-prostitute-women in the Whitehouse, then it is only sensible for Sarah Palin to pick up the ball, baggage* and all, and take it across the goal line. Bust open that glass ceiling and cackle at the sound it makes!
Palin in 2016 AND 2020!! Republicans for at least 24 uninterrupted years, yo!!
*It really is more of a carryon bag seeing as how her family issues more closely resemble Americana than the elitist fuckwits in Washinton or in the media.
P.S. Freddy T brought that shit last night�shoulda been the keynote.
Well, we can't all be perfect like ChuckD, so we will let him savor the mistakes of others rather than focusing on his own life or accomplishments - or extreme lack thereof.
All this criticism of Sarah Palin, if it continues, may actually backfire. Her best play from here on out is to say nothing more about this. The sympathy for her will mount silently. How many moms do you think are out there (undecided voters) dealing with similar issues??? Maybe just enough to put her in that VP chair after all.
And yes, it is disturbing that we seem to have extreme haters on both sides that will do anything and everything (if it's not true - all the better) to attack a person's character to prop up their own pathetic political arguments and beliefs.
If it all weren't so sad, it would be funny...no wait, it is funny. Keep picturing the deer-in-the-headlights look on Babydaddy's face and yeah, it's funny.
Try all you want, Trevor, but never forget that WildAl's can't be broken.
Incidentally, I agree with him. Fuck the fools who make up baby stories about woman candidates. They're just as bad as the racist dicks who spread bullshit on Obama.
This is another NON STORY. Yes, it has some tabloid-esque value to it which everyone seems to love. For once, I actually agree with Barack Obama who says this has no bearing on analyzing Palin's performance as a mayor, governer or VP to be. It does make me question Sarah Palin's priorities however. It makes me wonder why she would subject her daugther to such brutal harassment by accepting the VP bid knowing full well that this would come out and how bad it would get. Not saying it's right...just reality. Blind ambition...perhaps! I'm going to cut Big Mac some slack because if he honestly thought Sarah was the one, by all means he should offer the job to her. It's up to Sarah to be a mom first and say "no thanks!."
The maverick shoots from the hip! This is the biggest gaffe the Republican Party could've made.
Some arguments are too stupid to involve myself in.
"You don't know html!"
"No, your html doesn't work!"
"No, you're a dumbass!"
I can't link, italicize, or anything else fancy in this comment box. All I can do is rock it.
You know why? I'm not an elitist.
Yet another example of a Democrat missing the forest because of the trees.
I put in the tags and they did not work. Plus, I was even pimpin� your sister paper, so don�t playah hate me, bro!
Link tags work on the Plog comments, Trevor. Link tags have always worked in the comments, Trevor. And the only reason you can't get them to work, Trevor, is that you're a complete friggin' idiot.
STINKING tags. What is up with The Plog only taking some tags?
Anyway, here are the links referenced above...sorry I can't get the links to work:
http://blogs.citypages.com/gop...
http://blogs.citypages.com/gop...
Dude, if you don�t listen to CJ, you will probably get thumped. She told you to go check out �Elephants in the Room� on City Pages. I did and I do not even fear CJ. I even pre-handled your lame ass baby bashing. So rather than repeat, I shall provide a link:
(the) Trevor goes to MN
Also, you may want to check this one, which assuming it is true, provides an eye witness, from your sister paper, to Sarah�s pregnancy:
(the) Trevor reads about Babygate
Anyway, with your convention surge being as limp as an un-Viagra-ed Rafael Palmeiro at a strip club, you had better get to defining some issues before you guys lose Mondale style rather than Gore / Kerry style.
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