Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from area basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. He does this for one reason: Knowledge is power.
Science for Christian Schools: Grade 6
Author: Joseph Henson, Georgre Mulfinger, Jr., and Emmett Williams
Publisher: Bob Jones University Press
Date: 1977
Discovered at: Goodwill, Grandview
The Cover Promises: "With the rock of truth, we can smash the eyeglass of humanism!"
Representative Quote: page 57, "Scientists who take God's Word seriously realize that the earth and moon are separate creations, brought into existence for different purposes."
Before
they get to covering the minerals, microorganisms, and miracles that
are a part of any well-rounded science education, the authors of Science for Christian Schools - all working at the behest of Bob Jones University, where shorts and sideburns are still forbidden -- first clear up just what exactly they mean by science.
"The
study of science is both interesting and helpful," they admit before
adding this caveat: "It is not Absolute Truth . . . The study of
science must be done in the light of God's Word."
A Thought Experiment From BJU:
Imagine scientists have discovered a fossilized fish on a mountaintop.
"A scientist who
believes in evolution . . . would reason that the whole area must have
been underwater in only the last million years or so. A scientist who
believes in the biblical account of Creation would say that the fossil
was probably formed a few thousand years ago when the Flood of Noah's
time covered the entire earth."
tells us that the most likely answer is the simplest, it's indisputable
that the reason that bug-eyed fish wound up speared atop Mt. Phallus is
. . .
. . . a vengeful God flooded the earth to punish mankind for its wanton displays of ankles and facial hair.
Points of controversy:
Once its methodology is established, Science for the Christian School: Grade 6 does
an adequate sketching out the basics of elementary school science:
sunspots, moon-shots, and weights and density are covered with a faint
dusting of "God Willed It."
coal given by evolutionists, on the other hand, involves imaginary peat
bogs that are said to have existed millions of years ago."
that some form of life might be found on Mars. Such a find would help
support their belief that life 'happens' by itself wherever conditions
are right."
What "dominion"
means, in practical terms: if you're a science teacher needing to
demonstrate how God gave all beasts reflexes, toss a cat.
Shocking Detail:
From the "Suns and Stars" chapter:
"When
Galileo first used a telescope to study the heavens in 1609, he was
amazed at the number of stars he could see. He declared that the stars
were 'innumerable.' People then began to have a greater appreciation
for the mighty works of the Creator."
Yes: Galileo, friend of the church.
Highlight:
"A miracle is
something that cannot be understood by natural processes," the authors
write in the final chapter, "Miracles." They continue: "The results of a miracle are observable, but the way it was accomplished is not."
What follows is a earnest stab at explaining, scientifically, just what is and is not a miracle. Since
God intends miracles to be recognized as such, miracles (or "His mighty
work") are clearly manifest in the physical world for all to behold:
think the parting of the Red Sea.
If, on the other hand, a girl "miraculously" survives a car crash, this is something different:
"God
probably worked within the natural laws, and the girl's protection
would not be a true miracle. An event may be a direct answer to prayer
and not be a miracle."
The question never answered: can God make a cat so clumsy even He can't drop it on its feet? And if He did so, is that a miracle?
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I love when the book is sarcastic about how life 'happens.' That is an 'effective' technique when 'arguing' things that are totally 'sane.'
I taught Dr. Crap that Occam's Razor argument...right before he threw my cat, shaved off my sideburns, and smashed my eyeglasses.
If it weren't for the scans, I would swear you were making this up. Actually I'm still not convinced but since empirical truth doesn't matter anymore I'll just take your word for it.
"Wanton displays of ankles and facial hair" is my favorite phrase of 2008. "Wanton" itself is woefully underused; I almost want to go all Clay Chastain and get a petition started.
"So who thinks we should improve our vocabularies...ladies?"
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