Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in
forgotten and bewildering crap culled from area basements, thrift
stores, estate sales and flea markets. He does this for one reason:
Knowledge is power.
The Gamecock
Date: May 1966
Discovered at: Prairie Village Antique
Mall
The cover promises: "The Monthly
Magazine Devoted to Game Fowl." Also: if you own this, you are
probably a terrible person.
Representative quotes:
"Somewhere along the line we
supposedly human creatures, mostly British and American do-gooders,
have let the gamecock down."(page 35)
"One of the biggest jokes
around the cockpit is to hear cockers say that their cocks were too
sharp." (page 32)
The mid '60s were exciting times at The Gamecock, the house organ for the feathered glory set. Circulation had hit a high, the 28th anniversary issue weighed in at a biggest-ever 88 pages, and most states still cherished our God-given right to train chickens to murder each other for the purposes of gambling. In a letter to his readers, the editor of The Gamecock celebrates all this.
That editor is never named, but here's
a photo of him firing your grandpa.
Then, like Linus explaining Christmas, that editor lays out The Gamecock's true meaning.
"We are FOR those things that are for
the betterment of our Sport, for the good of game chickens and those
interested in them. We are 'AGIN' those things that are a
detriment. We are FOR those things that will ATTRACT the right kind
of people to breed game chickens and to enter into and enjoy our
Sport with us. We are 'AGIN' those things that will have the
opposite effect."
Wait, "The right kind of people"?
Cockfighting was restricted?
American Cock Sparring: Despite all this jubilation, Bill
Roddy's article "All Is Not Lost" stares down the biggest danger facing "the Sport": the fact that 98.5 percent of the Americans are AGIN it. He blames this on "the supposedly lily clean Humane
societies" who "appeal to local do-gooders and light weight
shallow thinking politicians," but he doesn't think they'll get away with it much longer.
Instead, he has a plan.
First, he suggests TV commercials and an effort to book cockfights
as entertainment at conventions for unions, political
groups, and charity organizations.
The heart of Roddy's plan: a touring show called "American Cock Sparring."
"Use a grey versus a red cock so
audience can easily distinguish between warriors at all times."
"Secure the full time services
of three people, two ladies and a man, about 25 to 30 years of age,
all clean cut individuals with college education and good
enthusiastic personalities to handle the act."
"The two ladies handle the fowl.
Dress them in colorful oriental abbreviated costumes covered with
flowing Chinese silk robes to be removed at pitside."
"Dress the man in an abbreviated
Roman gladiator costume."
"Johnny Carson and his
associates would, I believe, jump at the chance to show it first on
T.V."
"In the meantime every chicken
man should, with his family and relatives, seek out and elect men to
our public offices who are sympathetic with our sport."
He concludes with a true typewriter
spasm: "Ah Nuts! This Guy Crazy, Could Be!"
Shocking detail: The bulk of The Gamecock is
tournament write ups and ads from breeders selling those "knights
of the pit": bumblefoots, Toolpusher Cocks, Racey Mugs of both the
fast-shuffling and the two-pitting kind.
Other editorials denounce
Lyndon Johnson, call for "cockers" to come together, and explain
why some roosters suffer paralysis after fights.
In "Wiggle the
Prop Toe," "Old Fudd" claims to have seen a UFO:
"A helluva big thing it was and I
stood there eyeballing it for a half-hour trying to determine what it
was. I squinted first one eye then the other, got out my 7X35
binoculars and got a closer look . . . someone aboard, a little green
man likely, must have seen me as the huge craft, ball, saucer or
whatever it was moved off, slowly at first and then WHOOSH!"
Old Fudd then imagines that LBJ has
already stopped the imminent invasion:
"I figure they will 'make their
play in the next decade' if they aren't scared off when they read
the new ground rules now being posted by the The Great Society!"
Highlight:
All this cock talk! The five choicest quotes:
5. "If you expect to fight coopwalked
cocks against fresh farm walked cocks, you are kidding only one
person - yourself."
4. "His cocks seemed invincible and
by the end of the third day's battles those favoring other entrants
were heard to remark "the only way to kill them is with an axe."
3. "In over 20 years of active
cocking, ol fat Daddy has never won a derby alone."
2. "A cock has the very same problems
that a grown man has. The cock has weight problems, he gets nervous
and cranky from being pen walked so long and gets sluggish and stale
and - like we middle aged men - he requires more cover at night
to keep those cold flashes down."
And finally, from this local report:
Showing 1-16 of 16
i am in the philippines i enjoy raising and fighting chickens. many like to judge me but they dont figure how to judge themselves yet. i have come to term and judge myself as a person who likes roosters. definitely you have to feed them and fight them. money is not primary but secondary.
Ahhhh... yes, I have that issue of the Gamecock. Those were interesting times. Some cockers were seeing the coming oppression but nonetheless were powerless to stop it. Today, it's a felony to send a chicken across state lines for fighting purposes, but it's still just a misdemeanor to beat the crap out of a person. Go figure.
Check out this website for videos filmed in the Philippines (where the sport is televised and is the national sport... NOT kidding!)... www.sabongpress.com
The website also has a multi-page article about the history of cockgighting with several pictures.
The cock jokes are always funny... back when I had roosters, I'd invite my female friends out to the chicken yard to check out my favorite cock, etc. They liked to pick it up and rub on it and the cock was appropriately appreciative. These days, I show them my large deck. Biggest deck in the neighborhood. My wife knows she is lucky to have immediate access to such a large deck and her friends - and mine - are jealous.
Keep in mind that these are just chickens - albeit with a long colorful history and a genetic inclination to fight to the death - but they also taste good and lay delicious eggs. If you enjoy eating chicken, thereby partially creating the demand that causes millions of broilers to be hatched, fattened and slaughtered, then you should not judge those who raise roosters and allow them to fight.
...cocking is a noble sport...always has been...just because the "general public" doesn't accept it, dont mean crap...
..hell most "city kids" dont even know "meat and produce" has to be "harvested"...they just know it shows up at the supermarket in a little package...
...as a side note...that is a picture of the editor mr dave marbuger...
...those who cockfight cant explain it...those who dont, will never understand it...
...the "do gooders" start with cockfighting...but wont be satisfied, till horse racing, dog running, rodeos, hunting, fishing...ie all animal sports are abolished...
...redrooster...
hey i bet you wanted to go to the cock fight and you would say can i see your cock okay can i touch your cock?!!!? ! LOSUERR!
I'd watch them birds and them China ladies and that gladiator fella on that there Johnny Carson show.
Come on. That's not really the editor. That's how the Coen brothers would imagine the editor.
in all this political talk we're forgetting whats important.....
..... the cocks.
Past, how many times do I have to tell you to STFU?!?!? I am SOOOO going to rewrite you if you don�t get with the cock-based program. Let me remind you of that program:
Future, your name indicates when our country will be destroyed. It begins on January 20, 2009
Hey, Past, I think we're jsut about to lose the freedome to let numb nuts like Bush destroy our country.
Ahh, the good ole days before common sense was replaced by political correctness. I'm not endorsing Cock fighting, as I would be personally opposed to it, but left wing extremism saw to it that the freedom of choice to participate was eliminated.
Cock fighting
Smoking
Education
God
What other freedoms are soon to be eliminated because of liberalism?
I feel a fever coming on. Aign saying Im agin it nor fer it, but the cold steel of a mighty fightin cock could cure it fer sher.
You got me all wrong, Roddy. All wrong. But if your editor would fight my grandpa, I'd get that on prime time.
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