We give Hallmark a hard time. So it's only fair to point out when the hometown cardmaker does something cool. Here's a toast to this year's newest innovation: cards with sound chips that let you record your own message.
I was already a fan of Hallmark's cards with sound -- I love this Christmas card:
With a gem from Chris Rock:
This time of year, every store's got a sign in it: "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays." Bull [bleeeep]. They don't care if you're happy, they just want your money, OK? You really want to make me happy? Give me an iPod for a buck ninety-nine!This year, I discovered that not only could I buy a card that played "Jingle Bells"...
I could also record a message of my very own in the same card.
The new line was launched this past Mother's Day, a Hallmark spokeswoman tells us. "This is the first holiday season we've had them," she says. "We found that they're a really great fit, especially for people who want to send a greeting to someone they're not going to see."
Hey, that's exactly what I did! I sent one to my grandparents in Wichita Falls, Texas.
"When we launched them at Mother's Day, we had kids record their voices and then send the cards to moms who were deployed at military bases, so we found some really neat and touching ways to use the cards," she adds.
Now that's the kind of thing that just might bring a sentimental tear to the eye of an ol' cynic like me. -- C.J. Janovy
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I have a little Christmas poem for Hallmark. It's for "the rest of us." Not to squelch anyone's holiday enthusiasm, but if you relate...'tis a bit unpolished, but
The Grouch of Christmas
It�s humid in the temple
where the souls have come
to grow.
But, I only go
when it is empty.
While others search for
commentary
as side-by-side
they read from cards
the quotes
and complex notes
on the sides of Bibles
and well-worn hymnals.
I�ve tied knots in the necklace
made by a friend from hemp
home grown
and one by one I go down them all
through the sorry seeds
I�ve sown.
I apologize for all the lies
and misdeeds of my life;
for being a terrible mother
and such a bitch of a wife.
And the cold walls offer no answer
but the serene and sterile silence.
I drive on thin ice down the driveway
off the holy hill of the place
where the glittery snow makes promises;
like you will see me in another�s eyes
and the twinkle of passion will guide you
as do the sparkling skies.
I let the cold air numb me
with the window rolled on down.
I let the radio drown out
happy voices
of carolers all over this
god-forsaken town.
I bit off the head
of my chocolate Santa,
one of his mitten hands,
nibbled on one of his boots,
so he wobbles when he stands
inside my hot cup of coffee
melting away into comfort food.
�Merry Christmas to all,�
he gurgles,
but, this gal's just not in the mood.
In the 1950s and 1960s we siblings MADE SURE the 'rents bought and sent Gold Crown greetings cards. We were so proud [as pre adults] of a couple of nationally known brands [Hall mark, Stover's, but H&R Block pay day rip offs was not a major player yet] in da 'hood!
May be we set the bar too high. But in the 1980s, before papa Joyce said good bye, Gold Crown came out with some horrible additions and editions. I have always been a critic of commencement[s], Prom[anad] and the lethal foolishness that ensues.
Before the Funks, Hallmark brought national shame to the MoKan area. I would be critical of any communications company that mentioned booze on their congradulations and graduation card[s]! Since then I buy no name cards at the thrift store and [HORRORS] send my own personal messages. [And, of course, the inter net!]
Joyce Hall and company are not perfect, but they lost a hand full of fans in my klan! And we have spent THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS on other milue in the last couple of decades!
What about Hallmark's bigger involvement with the Baseball Royals? Gold Crown stadium? synergistic connections?
Speaking of the Montreal initiated Royals, why not the Kansas City Monarchs? An historical nod to the Negro League? Maybe Hallmark connections to the American Royal?
Ruskin and U of Misery
donlake@localnet.com
619.420.0209 any time
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