☃☃☃ HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND A WIENER-SHRINKINGLY FREEZING NEW YEAR!☃☃☃
This has been Daily Briefs with the Pitch inaccu-weather forecast. The pipes froze up in my house yesterday, but the projected temperatures for later in the week are up in the 20s. That's pretty good! As a measure of how far we've lowered our standards, I thought Garrison Keillor was pretty funny this weekend, with that ketchup commercial or Powdermilk Biscuits song, or jokes about English majors or whatever. I guess I'm really warming up to it, the way you get used to the sound of planes when you live by the airport, because it's never going to stop and there's nothing you can do about it. After the jump, a call for bipartisanship and some nonsense about an annual prize. Click here or here:
A brotherhood of douchewits: I know it's impolitic to use the word "retarded," but do you remember that one time when the surviving Iraqi civilians had their first democratic election and they all had to dunk their fingers in purple dye as a security measure? And then how congressional Republicans showed their solidarity with their Arab brethren and cistern by purpling their fingers and waving them at President Bush during one of his State of the Union addresses? And how supremely retarded that was? Well, now I'm reading about Code Pink throwing anti-Bush shoe-throwing protests. So in the Obama-like spirit of bipartisanship and the brotherhood of man and also the spirit of the high holy days of Christmas, it's obvious that retardation knows no political ideology.
Showbiz whatever: The Kennedy Center Honors are an annual lifetime achievement prize from the Kennedy family's John F. Kennedy Center to artists in the performing arts. Whereas most performing arts centers and also organizations founded for the sole purpose of awarding prizes give out trophies or plaques, the Kennedy Center honors recipients with a fruity hippie rainbow sash, as seen here on Beach Man Brian Wilson:
Past recipients have included funnywoman Carol Burnett, funnywoman Bill Cosby and America's loveable drunk Victor Borge. Oh, my mistake. I'm confusing funnywoman Victor Borge with America's loveable drunk, Kennedy Center Honors non-recipient Foster Brooks. This year, the Kennedy Center honored the lifetimes and achievements of wise old Morgan Freeman (awesome), wise old George Jones (so far, so good), smelly old Barbra Streisand (ugh), Twyla Tharp (dance is out of my jurisdiction, so we'll err on the side of caution and say "they had to give it to her," I guess), and then through some kind of horrific clerical error or maybe just to fuck with me, funnywomen Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey. And for, like, the 31st consecutive year, the Kennedy Center has ignored the contributions of the members of Dog Police, a band whose single "Dog Police" first appeared on the album Dog Police. Via Megan Metzger, here's their video:
The year I spent living in a student co-op house with Dov Charney, Joe Francis and Neil Strauss was ten times more woman-friendly than that video, you guys, it is an abomination in my sight and I hereby apologize to each and every reader.
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after like a decade of daiuly briefs this sullivan guy only realizes its "shockingly unprofessional' when chris dares to say ugh about babs? please tomorrow do an all barb streisand edition
Chris - Your comment regarding Barbra Streisand was not only immature, it was shockingly unprofessional.
And in a way totally metaphysical cyber moment, this is the source of the "Dog Police" video, wherein turn I am credited for alerting the author of the post about the band Complete, which is something I viddied during my tenure at the Pitch:
http://www.matadorrecords.com/...
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