Wednesday, December 31, 2008

You Lookin' at Me? (woof, woof) You Should Be Lookin' at Randy the Macho Man Savage, say the Rods

Posted By on Wed, Dec 31, 2008 at 11:36 AM

Thanks to Mickey Rourke, 2009 is shaping up to be the year in which we add professional wrestler to that exclusive list of quirky things to dress up as for Halloween and make up clever anecdotes about (robot, ninja, pirate, scientist, etc). So, whoever posted this video on YouTube just over a year ago deserves props for prescience.

"Rock Warriors" by the Rods

Wait a minute, look at this screencap from the above video. Could it be that the Macho Man and Randy "the Ram" Robinson are ... one and the same!???

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Stealing Time: KSHB wants you to make sexy booty calls

Posted By on Wed, Dec 31, 2008 at 11:05 AM

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Sexy KSHB wants you to make sexy text message booty calls this sexy New Year. In a sexy story simply titled "Booty Call," sexy NBC Action News reporter Karen Graber apparently didn't know that sexy booty calls can come via sexy text message. In a not-so -sexy development, the story is actually about unsexy Baby Center's Booty Caller, which sends equally unsexy text message reminders when a woman is ovulating. ** Claims of Karen Graber's sexiness can not be confirmed. Sexy Graber does use the sexy phrase "so you can get busy."

My favorite TV newsie Micheal Mahoney gets a great dig on colleague Kris Ketz, who was subbing for Chris Stigall on KCMO-710. "Is it true that when you go grocery shopping with your family that they have to get between you and the microphone in the checkout line?" Via Bottom Line.

Bunny the Newshound recaps the murder of an 18-year-old man Tuesday afternoon in the parking lot of the Belmont Place Apartments

Nick Sloan asks the question on Kansas City football fans' minds: "How does [Denver Broncos coach] Mike Shanahan get fired before Herm Edwards?"

Arrowhead Addict mocks up the 2009 NFL draft. With the third pick, the Kansas City Chiefs select Texas defensive end Brian Orakpo. And Missouri receiver Jeremy Maclin is gonna be a Chicago Bear.

Will Not Be Televised applies to be the new czar of the Kansas City Chiefs. He's not qualified but tripping and being drunk off your ass has to dull the pain of watching the Chiefs. -- Justin Kendall

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Mostly free cab rides New Year's Eve

Posted By on Wed, Dec 31, 2008 at 11:00 AM

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Feel free to get trashed tonight. Just make sure you have this number -- 816-777-1115 -- programmed in your phone. Call the number and you'll get a free lift home until 3 a.m. The first $25 -- about 10 or 12 miles -- is free thanks to Yellow Cab, Central State's Beverage and Seven night club, our sister blog Fat City reports. This is a good reason to make the call. -- Justin Kendall

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Free chicken biscuit at Chick-Fil-A tomorrow

Posted By on Wed, Dec 31, 2008 at 11:00 AM

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If you can somehow drag your hungover body out of bed and to a local Chick-Fil-A before 6:00 p.m. tomorrow, New Year's Day, you will be rewarded for your efforts with a coupon. The coupon is good for one chicken biscuit, which is the chain's breakfast offering and its answer to McDonald's recently introduced southern style chicken biscuit sandwich.

Chick-Fil-A has been serving the biscuit sandwich since 1986 and still swears up and down that each biscuit is made from scratch. Now, with no money on the line, it's time to test that claim.

The coupon is good until March 28, 2009. -- Owen Morris

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Mac Lethal Asks: What Would You Go Through In Order to Have Sex With Mariah Carey?

Posted By on Wed, Dec 31, 2008 at 10:38 AM

The vloggy hijinks continue.

David McCleary Sheldon is nothing if not philosophical.

At the beginning of this, his latest documentary short, Sheldon posits: "The most important question that anyone could ever ask you, at this point in your life -- your very important, luxurious life -- is 'how far would you go to be able to sleep with Mariah Carey?'"

Would you ...

Lick a dog's ass?

Allow your father to be choked against a wall?

Suffer terrible constipation for three weeks?

Endure the humiliation of having a man seductively feed you bites of food in a crowded restaurant?

Some of them are no-brainers (constipation? quel difference), but some ... some make you wonder whether there is indeed a price too high. For example -- a year of sex with Carey after which you are viciously separated from your balls?

Then again, would you really need them at that point?

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I hear there's some parties going on tonight

Posted By on Wed, Dec 31, 2008 at 10:30 AM

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Reading Gawker's list of the five types of New Year's Eve parties, I realize I'm a stalwart member of group four: the people who go to bed at 11 p.m.

I'm not against celebrating New Year's. I like the picking/drinking champagne aspect of it, I just don't like dropping what seems to be a $100 minimum to go out. The other possibility -- a house party with strangers -- is just too depressing on New Year's.

This year is different. This year, I rounded up a few places that don't have covers. Granted, it's not many, but if you give them your New Year's business this year, other places will follow and we can put a stop to the "Well, a $75 cover is a lot but they do give me one free champagne toast" line of thinking.

Continue reading »

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IHOPers converge to discuss the end of the world

Posted By on Wed, Dec 31, 2008 at 10:10 AM

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To city officials, the sight of packet-clutching, name-tag-wearing visitors shuffling between downtown hotels and Bartle Hall evokes the sweet sound of cash registers ringing. But to Kansas City residents, the flocks of out-of-towners often raises the question: "Who are you people?"

Despite the plastic sunglasses and hipster fashions, this week's crowd wasn't in town for an American Apparel conference but OneThing08, hosted by the International House of Prayer. While countless Christians likely tuned in online, thousands traveled to the hometown of IHOP preacher Mike Bickle for the four-day event. Among them was a young trio from Minneapolis, who said Jesus Christ inspired them to attend this lesson on the end of the world.

Continue reading »

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Breakfast Buffet: Wednesday, 12/31 New Year's Eve!

Posted By on Wed, Dec 31, 2008 at 9:00 AM

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The iconic Times Square Coca-Cola billboard featuring the iconic glass of Coca-Cola is going green. The equivalent of taking 75 cars off the road for a year. [New York Post]

Tips on throwing the best recession party ever! Hint: Don't let your guests know it's a recession. [AP News]

You'll never look at ice cubes the same way after seeing what this artist does with them. (No, it's not naughty though that set-up makes it sound slightly so.) [Wired]

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. But what if nothing is happening in Vegas? That's the question facing sin city right now. [Time]
-- Owen Morris

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Sterling Witt: The Clambake Saga of Homespun Weirdity Continues

Posted By on Wed, Dec 31, 2008 at 8:00 AM

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I know you guys have been jonesing for a little S. Witt. After all, it's been over a year since Witt donned his women's blouse and protested outside The Pitch office. Well, it seems the man we call the Artisan has resurfaced, this time with an EP that some folks are saying is actually an improvement over the unlistenable dreck that this mediocre boob has committed to record in the past.

A few weeks ago, I caught up with my compatriot John Bersuch, who plays in Bacon Shoe, Olympic Size, Tree, the Sex Police and a dozen or so other bands. He'd recently received a shipment from the dubious Mr. Witt.

Says Bersuch: "I saw a bulletin on MySpace from him, and it said if you send me your email address, address and phone number I'll send you a copy of my new album, free of charge."

"I'd already heard it from someone else, and it's good. I like the new album."

"So he sent me a message back and was like, 'Do you want me to send you some other stuff, too?' and I was like sure, that's fine, and so he sent me a bunch of stuff."

Find out what Sterling sent John after the jump. It's pretty hilarious.

Continue reading »

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Homicide #126: Be cool today, people

Posted By on Wed, Dec 31, 2008 at 7:39 AM

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One way we keep track of the general health of Kansas City, Missouri, is by paying attention to the press releases from the police department. When someone's killed, one of the KCPD's public information officers sends out a notice with a number.

Yesterday at 5:06 p.m. came this one, under the subject line "Homicide #126":

Today at approximately 4:30pm, KCMO Police were called to an

apartment complex in the 100 block of N. Belmont

in regard to a shooting. Upon arrival officer's observed a shooting

victim (white male approx. 20yrs old) inside a vehicle behind the apartment

complex. The victim was pronounced dead a short time later. A female witness

stated that a white male shot the victim and fled on foot. The suspect is

described as a white male, 5'8, medium build, wearing a red hooded

sweatshirt/jacket and blue jeans. Detectives are on the scene and ask that

anyone with information to call the TIPS Hotline at 816-474-8477.


If no one's murdered today, we'll narrowly avoid tying 2005, with its 127 homicides, for the bloodiest year of the decade. C'mon, people. Let's not kill each other today, OK? -- C.J. Janovy


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