It's no wonder Clay Chastain settled on mass transit as his pet cause: A conversation with him is a bumpy ride over loose tracks, and only he decides when it's over.
The best way to keep your blood pressure down when Chastain wants to talk -- which lately is often, given that next week his light-rail boondoggle plan gets yet another day in court -- is to send him to voice mail when his familiar Bedford, Virginia, phone number flashes on your phone.
Of course, that doesn't work when Chastain calls The Pitch's switchboard and claims to be Mayor Mark Funkhouser.
Chastain is great with a clipboard, but he's no mimic. Still, a conversation that starts with someone intoning in an unconvincing mayoral basso, "This is Mark Funkhouser, and I'm calling to let you know that I'm repealing the City Council's revocation of Clay Chastain's light-rail plan" -- that can't totally lack fun, can it?
Can it?
So that's how I ended up hearing another lecture from my favorite charming
narcissist about what my "degenerate publication" covers and what it
ignores.
There's no summing up Chastain, who has spent more
than a decade earning his punching-bag status by taking two politically
flat-footed steps back for every stride gained with his light-rail
petitions and populist maneuvering. But today, anyway, Chastain did his own self-analysis, and he didn't
put too fine a point on things.
"This all reminds me of that movie High Noon," he said, speaking of the struggle to get his sacked transportation plan back in action. "You know, with Gary Cooper trying to rally the town and everyone too afraid to stand up to the bad guys."
To
be fair, when I pointed out that likening oneself to the hero of a
classic western is pretty much exactly what gets one laughed out of a
serious conversation, he had a quick answer: "My wife is Gary Cooper,"
he said.
Valerie Chastain may not be pleased that in her
husband's fantasy, she doesn't get to be stoic, sexy Grace Kelly. But
that won't stop her from continuing to represent Clay Chastain as the
two defend their little studio backlot from the anti-democratic
machinations of enemies like Hallmark (which Marshal Will Kane -- er,
Clay Chastain -- insists is one of his rail plan's most powerful
foes).
All right, Mr. Chastain -- we'll be watching next week's hearing and waiting to see if, as you said today, you'll move back to Kansas City if the case ends up in front of the state Supreme Court and you have to draft a new plan. And we'll take under advisement your plea to "write about ideas." Here's one: Next time you call, you be Gloria, and I'll be waiting for a bus.
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It�s a shame that we as a people cannot seem to get past the childish antics of name calling and spirit bashing that the Midwest is now becoming famous for. The problem is that these types of responses that are being posted are not only read by Kansas Citians and Missourians, but others across the country as they will view us-(Kansas City) as a conservative, backward and stubborn city.
Instead of praising Mr. Chastian for his vision and courage, we badger and bad mouth him for trying to help us. We should be supportive of his actions, instead of belittling him for trying to improve our city and its crumpling communities.
If the handful of cynics would use their blog posting skills to chastise our local / city government for their complacency and lack of leadership instead of crucifying Clay, this city would probably become more competitive and successful.
I now wonder how many other people and businesses will stay away from kansas city as a result of posts like these?
Clay is right, Kansas City without light rail is like a fish without a bicycle.
Why not a subway? Got to dig up the streets for the billions in sewer and water repairs anyway, right.
Get on that one Clay, it's a winner for sure ROFLMAO
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