| Justin Kendall |
| Willie Aames |
Poor Willie "Bibleman" Aames. As you already know, the Pitch Action News Team visited his yard sale today -- and took several photos. At first, we wondered how much of this was just for the reality show cameras. Then I made the mistake of asking one of the crew if I could use the bathroom.
"Actually the house has already been foreclosed, and I think all the utilities have already been shut down," he said. "Sorry."
Ouch. I'll say it again, poor Willie Aames. We try to write about the people weathering this economy as best they can, losing jobs, trying to hold onto their homes, but when we drove out to Olathe today we never expected that Aames's sad prostitution of memories would capture the zeitgeist.
In many ways the objects cluttering the driveway were what you'd expect. There were plenty of framed Bibleman posters. I'd only seen the show a couple times, usually nursing a hangover in bed early on Saturday afternoons. I could never reconcile the messages with the idea that Bibleman needed a light saber, or whatever the hell weapon he was carrying around. Theologically it was a mess.
There were candle stands reaching from the floor to your head that didn't seem like they'd be out of place in a church. A women got really excited about these and dragged them away for way more than they were worth. Some day, someone's going to take her to a Bed, Bath and Beyond and blow her mind.
Then there was the standard stuff, like the DVD and book collections. For every well-thumbed title like Shark Massacre!, there were reprints of those cheap classic novels like the Iliad that you find taking up space in Barnes & Noble. And there were still sealed copies of movies like the Criterion Collection version of The Seventh Seal. The cynic in me wondered if the production crew had quickly bought all the classy stuff to throw in with the aquatic mutilation fare so we wouldn't think Aames was lowbrow.
And, of course, there were the things personal enough to give you a convincing picture, even if you were wrong, of Aames relaxing at home. Like the stuffed lion's head or the empty pipe cases or what looked like an urn for tobacco with smudges of that last Prince Albert along the porcelain bottom.
Eventually Crap Archivist Alan Scherstuhl found a copy of a 1983 Teen Beat, which we've already documented. We joined the line. Most of the people there were housewives, grabbing movies and books but a few had Bibleman memorabilia. The super fan waiting in front of us had a Bibleman action figure that he'd brought from home -- and a digital camera full of pictures of him with celebrities like Paris Hilton, Ric Flair and James Brolin. He claimed that he found out when they were in Missouri, drove to their hotels and waited in lobby to jump them and force a photo -- I'm assuming before security could intervene. This borderline-stalker marching towards Aames for yet another trophy while housewives across the street sang the Charles in Charge theme song summed up the day.
I'm not sure exactly what this film crew had convinced Aames of, but if he's so hard up, I don't get why he didn't sell some of this on his own without the cameras. There were mounted animals that could easily fetch more at just about any venue outside of his lawn. So if this isn't an act, and Bibleman truly is fucked, then I hope he's at least getting paid well from whichever cable channel is documenting his misery. Part of the fun for them seemed to be forcing Aames to price his belongings without even talking to people, as crew would approach the table regularly to ask for a price quote and Aames asking if an offer had been made, and always hearing that one hadn't.
Scherstuhl and I were just about to get his copy of Teen Beat signed when were were separated from Aames by a video camera and a white-haired man who'd been working the edges of the driveway.
"Willie, this young lady has made an offer on the lion head," he said and pointed to a blond woman, maybe in her 30s with bad skin. There was a back and forth we didn't entirely catch, other than the blonde promising to give the lion's head a good home. It was a big bitch of a cat, mounted on a three-foot-tall stand, and it was easy to see Aames seated next to it by the fire, perhaps perusing some wise passage in the Iliad, smoke circling his lit pipe. Aames couldn't promise to visit it but said he was happy she'd enjoy it. When she'd laid out four $100 bills, the camera crews crushed in on Aames even tighter to capture his reaction to losing the lion. For a moment, he looked like he was going to cry. I caught something about how he'd always thought Kansas City hated him, and I guess he thought this was our way of showing that we loved him. He doesn't seem to know where he's going to go, or even if he's leaving Kansas City, just that he can't stay in that house anymore.
After we got out of the line, we caught the blond lion head buyer shoving aside dead branches in the bed of her black truck, presumably making a place for the head.
"I was here at noon, and I wanted that head. I've always wanted something like that," she told us. She was apparently a Juggalette, since the rear window of her truck was covered with Insane Clown Posse stickers and her license plate read WKDCLWN. "They wanted $3,500 dollars for it then, and I was like hell no. $400 I can do."
"So you didn't come for Aames? You were just looking?"
She shrugged. "I've always wanted one of these."
Relive Aames' sale with this slideshow.
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I agree hang in there during the tough times I lost my dad and one and only brother and my son all within 4 years then just when I thought things couldn't get worst my wife got Iocked up. I read the book of job several times sand God sent some friends to be with me .
Things have come back my wife is free again and I have a daughter keep the faith read job over n over we r praying for u love ur brother in Christ mickey
This morning as well as yesterday, you were so heavily on my mind and in my spirit. I read on the internet that you made a suicide attempt in 2009. Guess what, Willie? You are still here because my friend you have a purpose for God's Kingdom. Thank for his grace and mercy on you. God has not given up on you. He wants you to return to him. The pleasures of this world are temporal, but the things of God are eternal. Willie you are more than a conqueror. God loves you and so do I. He will restore everything that was taken away from you. Open up your bible and refer to Joel 2:25-27. When you were with God, you were happy. Get that happiness back,man.
I feel so much compassion for him. Willie said what happened to him???? It's simple he forget what he was doing for God by educating children on how to stand up and fight for their faith with bible man. When you do any kind of ministry for the Lord,you can't expect evil to be nice. I pray that Willie will open his bible and refer back to Ephesians 6:10-18 the very scripture on what bible man's foundation was all about. The armor of God! it looks like Willie has taken off his armor. Please Willie put it back on!
Aames is a despicable person. Any animal killer deserves the karma coming to him/her. I'm glad to see him humiliated the same way the lion whose head he is selling was. Say hi to Satan for me, Bibleman.
Willie is a good guy. I feel sorry for him, it hasn't been easy for any of us lately with this recession.
"we never expected that Aames's sad prostitution of memories would capture the zeitgeist." well said and sad!
Love this article. I didn't make it to the sale, but desperately wanted to. Good show.
So, aside from having to sell his personal possessions and have his home foreclosed and, presumably, declaring bankruptcy, did "Tommy/Charles" seem to be in good spirits? Why does he live in Olathe, anyway?
Hey jjskck,
Good question, I should've been clearer on that - I thought Kendall was covering it more in his vid. post of our Crap Archivist. What happened was exactly what you just wrote. He was having a rummage sale being filmed by a reality TV crew. I think it was for Vh1. And yeah, sucks to be him.
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