It's been a long weekend of repetitive news about the airborne death flu and nerd movies. And if you're like me, then you're a huge fan of pun-based entertainment headlines such as "Wolverine Claws Its Way to Box Office Top," although a more nerd-oriented hed would have specifically mentioned that those claws were made from "nerdamantium," and somehow worked in a reference to boobs. After the jump, some more mean comments about nerds! Click here or on this picture of what it looks like when comic books are translated from the page into real life:
Swine is meat. Meat is murder. By the transitive property of meat, swine is murder: The Swine Industry, which the vegetarians and business journalists call "Big Swine," applied whatever pressure they're able to apply against the World Health Organization in response to the use of the term "Swine Flu" -- I guess they threatened to withhold life-giving pork sandwiches from hungry babies -- so now it's supposed to be called "Influenza A (H1N1)."
Finally, to all of the unfunny meme-propagating internet fatties whose only punchline has been BACON!!!!! HAHAHAHA!!! for what seems like the whole last geological epoch: I honestly hate you. But also, here's an article from Wired about a machine that identifies wines and cheeses using an infrared spectrometer, which identified a reporter's hand as bacon. I expect that to have exactly zero impact on the collective appetite for grain-fed, pen-raised pork pumped full of antibiotics and growth hormones, but it does more or less confirm what we've been told by 18th century pirates for all these years. Also, when the gynecomastia caused by all that hickory-smoked porcine growth hormone becomes embarrassingly pronounced, you can always go shopping here.
And speaking of dorks with man-boobs: The not-at-all awkwardly titled X-Men Origins: Wolverine opened this weekend, but I was too busy (and sick!) with my quarterly Master Cleanse regimen to go see it. So instead, I do what I always do after the opening weekend of a nerd movie: I checked the "Goofs" page for the film's Internet Movie Database entry. Because even though the movie has only been out for a couple of days, the nerds are faster with the discontinuity errors than the Enterprise NCC-1701-E at FULL WARP!!! (Nerd-accessible analogy provided in accordance with the Americans with Disabilities Act). What follows is a voyage into the world of impaired social behavior and pedantic hyperfocus. SPOILERS AHEAD!
This is so awesome: America's Funniest Comedian, Paul F. Tompkins, sang an embarrassing old hippie song onstage this weekend with rock god Ted Leo of Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, and it was hilarious:
Showing 1-2 of 2
like
dislike
