Citizens of Kansas City, Kansas, a superhero walks among you -- but not for long. The World Superhero Registry (didn't Captain America just fight superhero registration?) says a female crime fighter named Nyx guards the streets of KCK but will soon move to New York.
who mothered the gods of sleep and death.
Here's a brief bio from Nyx' MySpace profile:
After the jump, more about KCK's mysterious hero -- and she speaks!"I am Nyx, masked protector of the night...
Like the night, I cannot be proven or disproven to certain degrees;
and also much like the night, when morning comes there will be no trace
of me.
It's impossible to define but I feel a certain degree of loyalty to
every being that inhabits this earth, a compulsion to watch -- to
help -- to protect.
I respect all RLSH [Real Life Super Heroes] of every sort, it's not an easy life we've chosen but we've chosen it nonetheless."
Nyx is a member of the superhero group Vixens of Valour. She's apparently vice president of the Heroes Network and a member of the Signal of Light Foundation. Ooh, superhero politics.
Alas, what's a hero without an arch nemesis? Sadly, Nyx' profile says she has none.
Nyx has also posted videos on YouTube, but none record her heroics. This one is from October 2008.
I sent Nyx a message on MySpace, but she has yet to respond. I understand. A hero's journey leaves little time for self-promotion.
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Your average "real life superhero" doesn't have access to all the fancy toys provided by uncle sam to murder people. Yes MURDER is what anyone who kills another person is doing, that includes all military. Not only do heroes risk their life without the aid of bullet proof vests or machine guns, they fight some people who wouldn't think twice about killing them. Real heroes don't exact vengeance, they bring justice. If there was a code, the first line should be "Never take a life!" I real hero never stops believing that people can be good to each other. We live the way the world should be, to show it how it could be.
Look around, jackass... it's not so much better here.
Plus, we don't go fighting a war that our country started for dubious causes in the first place.
if ur all so hell bent on making a difference go to afghanistan or something hell we coulda used a couple jerkoffs in costumes running around todistract the taliban maybe they woulda shot at us less. fuck seems to me u go running around fucking with drug dealers its only a matter of time till someones reading ur obituary.
this is probably the most outlandish thing ive ever posted to.
You'd be surprised at the physical hell some of us put ourselves through to serve the public. And still you want to bitch.
We don't tell you exactly what we do (in most cases) because we'd rather not incriminate ourselves. Make sense now?
That last part, because you're mostly in worse shape than i am, seriously, with the possible exceptions of Superhero, Tothian, Squeegeeman...okay, quite a few of you, but certainly nowhere near all.
Concluding now, Angle Grinder Man is awesome, DiscorD's outfit is kind of cool, Terrifica and Captain Jackson are pretty inspiring and I'll bet you all suck at basketball.
I'm thinking about this american news spot that I watched earlier today about a guy in a really well made mask with an asymmetrical Donnie Darko rabbit logo on his chest who "fights crime".
The Superhero Registry site later informs me about other people who fight injustice in uniform. "Angle Grinder Man", for example, saws boots off of the cars of unjustly clamped motorists. Captain Jackson though, he hates Angle Grinder's fucking guts cuz' he thinks the Angle Grinder is a criminal, which he is, but hear me out: AGM's also very specific about what he does: "Boot sawing. Booting cars is unjust, so I saw them the fuck off." Fair enough. Shadow Hare on the other hand, "fights crime." Testament to his dedication: he dislocated his shoulder defending a woman from a homeless guy. However, what ups the "Who gives a shit" factor regarding Shadow Hare is that saying that you "fight crime" is about as vague as answering someone who asks you what's for dinner by saying "food" and the best example he has of his heroic exploits involves hurting himself while defending someone from an overzealous panhandler.
Shadow Hare does sound like Toby McGuire however, which grants him superhero mojo by association.
So, I'm thinking about how superheroes conceal their identities, while supervillains lay it out on the line. Yeah, his hideout was tucked away in some backwoods eastern European country, but Dr. Doom never hid in anonymity: his fucking face was made of metal, and his first name was Victor, pleased to meet you. If you had the balls to do it, you could easily find his house: its the big one at the top of the hill, says "Von Doom" on the mailbox, can't miss it. Lex Luther named his company after himself. The Joker wore make-up, but had no alter-ego. These guys were the real deal. Granted, their sincerity stemmed from the relative safety their families enjoyed from the retaliation of their virtue-bound enemies, or the fact that they didn't have any families to speak of/care about, but what about their super lairs? Daredevil and Spiderman were constantly storming the Kingpin's super building and kicking his super ass, because the man made no pretense regarding its super location.
More often than not, a supervillain led an army of paid employees to fuck up a city, bank, or generally to racketeer, while superheroes banded together, or acted alone, to "fight crime" gratis. You know why? The goal was too fucking nebulous. They couldn't excite any public or private support for their activities because said activities lack any actual definition. "By crime, do you mean arresting drug dealers?" "When I fight crime...you'll know what I mean...by fighting crime." Yes, very mysterious, but you know what? He has no idea how he's going to "fight crime". He's going to wander around at night in his pyjamas until "crime" steps right up and breaks his friggin' shoulder.
Effective superheroes are those public figures with clearly defined philanthropic goals and public personas unmarred by an antisocial distrust in humanity. I heard about a Toronto cop who got his ass kicked by some gang members who recognized him while he was off duty. He's still a cop. That's a superhero. Punch a drug dealer in the face - they aren't hard to find - and do it in broad daylight in your street clothes. Volunteer at a homeless shelter and shake some hands. This costume shit is narcissistic weird garbage that belies some deep seated emotional problem that has less to do with criminals than insecurity and, ironically, a hatred of other people. Its "Taxi Driver" without the uncompromising exercise regimen.
And for everyone else, yeah, there are "heroes" that we on the Heroes Network think are sort of ludicrous as well. Not all of us claim to be heroes, we are pragmatic and consider ourselves responsible to stand up and do something in the world. We're just guys, who wear masks (which is no more outlandish than a marine decorating his helmet).
Which is more than I can say for this piece of garbage who, even after I explain all of our altruistic intentions, continues to demean us. Usually Id turn my back on his type but I've decided to make an example out of him. We dont hide behind the internet.
People, we are putting our lives on the line for you. Get on board.
I really hope youre somewhere close to NYC. Cause im not paying a bunch of money to come kick you in your face.
The problem for you, friend, is that I'm not a superhero. I won't hesitate to come busting in your house and slap your dick out of your moms mouth and then push you down your own fucking stairs.
I dont have a problem with meeting you and beating your ass. How do you want to do this?
50 bucks says youre the one to puss out.
That was a great article, Nyx! Congratulations. Very cool. Glad they finally mentioned Heroes Network, too.
Some people immediately understand the hope and positive results of what we do, whether it's crime-deterrence, charitable activities or disaster response, while others will never get it until they're the ones who need our help. And yeah, of course we'd help them.
"Its funny that you assholes hide behind your computers but we're the ones out there successfully living lives and hunting down bad elements."
Not as funny as you sitting behind your computer being a tough guy- nerd.
"some reason why you can't come out from behind your computer to voice your opinions..."
Uhm, I can't see nor hear you when you are behind your computer- Spock!
"You jeer, and heckle, and all the while you live vicariously through other people, no doubt thinking that by going online......"
By living vicariously, do you mean trying to be Green Lantern? Sorry Weasel, not me.
"and trying to tear down people that help any way they can."
Oh, they are helping! Helping me laugh through a day of work- Captain Needledick.
"Last month we went to Washington Square park and had a stand off with a bunch of drug dealers until they all left."
They all left because they thought they were tripping balls while looking at a bunch of lunatics in children's Halloween costumes.
"I personally dont give a shit about drug dealers, but they shouldn't be in a park that was made for people to enjoy. And we're going back again and again."
You are right! Parks are made for lonely dildos running around as caped crusaders fighting the evil Lothor of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers fame. Speed of a PUMA..PUMA...PUMA....Strength of a BEAR...BEAR..BEAR!
"So let me just say, put up or shut up. Your assumptions make you look like an idiot, and the world could use less of your kind right now."
In typical SUPERHERO form you end with, "the world could use less of your kind right now". Listen Vinegar Boy, trusty sidekick of Douche Bag, if that was a threat I'd be more than happy to meet you with my lightsaber sword and kung-fu grip. Just you and me buddy. Superhero vs. villian.
Its funny that you assholes hide behind your computers but we're the ones out there successfully living lives and hunting down bad elements. You keep talking, and talking, and talking... But I'm sure you'll have some backtalk for me too, some reason why you can't come out from behind your computer to voice your opinions... i mean, thats what you do. You jeer, and heckle, and all the while you live vicariously through other people, no doubt thinking that by going online and trying to tear down people that help any way they can.
Last month we went to Washington Square park and had a stand off with a bunch of drug dealers until they all left. We were threatened by the block manager. But we stayed there, in our "uniforms", until every single one was out. I personally dont give a shit about drug dealers, but they shouldn't be in a park that was made for people to enjoy. And we're going back again and again.
So let me just say, put up or shut up. Your assumptions make you look like an idiot, and the world could use less of your kind right now.
They give people hope
That's for sure. I hope nobody thinks they're related to me, or friends of mine. That would be quite embarrassing.
Quit badmouthing these people.
Make me. What kind of lame-o superhero can't even shut up a heckler?
There was nothing sarcastic about what I said about Nyx. My words are pure and true. She has already been to New York a few times and has proven she can handle herself in any given situation.
Oh Jesus- just took a piss and wiped the tears from my eyes. Sorry about the piss-poor spelling and grammar. It's hard for me to type and read when my eyes are full of tears.
Holy crap, the hits keep coming. I read some more of the registry. I'm not in position to offer any algebraic computations on the validity of the "superheroes" that claim to be "in a relationship" but something tells me that number of virgins on that site is consistent with the number of "superheroes" on that site. That being said, stroking your pecker or flicking your bean to a picture of Robin or Catwoman does not constitute being "in a relationship".
"Oh I've heard of Nyx. I've got such a celebrity crush on her! And I'm sure she can kick any bad guy's ass. I feel a lot safer with her patrolling the streets."
As for the asshat that made the above comment, I salute you! I can only ascertain that sarcasm was your objective. Oh please God- tell me it was sarcasm. I'm afraid that if NYX approaches me in the middle of the night and tries to "kick my bad guy ass", I just might leave a steaming pile of shit on her face.
What a bunch of d-bags!
Okay- I've got it. This is what happens when the Debate Team graduates from highschool and can't vent their atrocious shit elsewhere. They gather together and make crap up about each other and pretend to play Batman and Robin. Hey- here's your nemesis- you fucking losers- it's called LIFE. Yours sucks splooge out of a donkey's crank so pretend to be what you are not. Hey dipshits- change a tire, get a job, quit being so fucking nerdy. Christ Almighty- I just shit myself after reading some of the registry's "Superhomos". Is there a superhero that fights irritable bowel syndrome. Is he names "Schatastic"? Just wondering- fuck- gotta piss too- laughing too hard.
Hey Nyx- have fun in New York. I bet you get ginch punched within the first ten minutes.
"Realist says:
I guess I shouldn't be so dismissive. After all, I used to want to be a superhero too. Of course, then my testicles descended, my voice changed, and I got interested in girls. Somehow being a superhero didn't seem quite as important after that.
And is it just me, or does the costume of "Insignis" (see WSR website) bear a rather unfortunate resemblance to a Klan robe?"
--------------------------------------------
First off, Insignis, is part of The Black Monday Society,YES, a group of heroes. And he has by far, done more good, in the last three days, than you probably have in your whole life. And is the furtherest thing from the clan.
Second, Quit badmouthing these people. At least they are out there, helping people. What have you done? What accomplishment do you have that so outshines theirs? They give people hope, even when assholes like you try to tear them down. And the sad part is, you'll bad mouth them, say all these things, and they will still help you. Because it's the right thing to do.
In case you ever read this Nyx I just wanted to say don't worry about the assholes who are talking shit this blog. If I ever met them in person I would royally hurt them in your honor.
I guess I shouldn't be so dismissive. After all, I used to want to be a superhero too. Of course, then my testicles descended, my voice changed, and I got interested in girls. Somehow being a superhero didn't seem quite as important after that.
And is it just me, or does the costume of "Insignis" (see WSR website) bear a rather unfortunate resemblance to a Klan robe?
Ive met Nyx in person. Nyx would probably beat your ass down the street and then write a poem about it. Don't fuck with her.
Oh I've heard of Nyx. I've got such a celebrity crush on her! And I'm sure she can kick any bad guy's ass. I feel a lot safer with her patrolling the streets.
Alas, what's a hero without an arch nemesis? Sadly, Nyx' profile says she has none.
She's not the only one, either. There looks to be a dearth of arch-nemeses, reducing one reluctant hero to choosing Osama bin Laden as his A-N.
I think it's clear to everyone what needs to happen now, Justin. We need a super villains league. Is the Pitch up to putting one together?
Might not only keep Nyx from departing, but even attract other super heroes from other locations. Whaddaya say, sport?
Oh for fuck's sake... I wish that damn WSR site would finally bite the dust. Please don't judge the whole movement on that shitty site.
Oh, man - that "World Superhero Registry" link is f'ing hilarious. Those people are some serious lunatics.
I can't speak for any other residents of KCK, but I sure haven't noticed any big drops in crime since Nyx has been around. Can't say I've ever seen Leroy Green sending up the Nyx-Signal either.
And I'd have to see how she handles a "patrol" of, say, Tenth and Quindaro before I'll pass judgment on her super powers.
Nyx and her versatile saber-wand wouldn't stand a chance against the awesome psi-power of Stevie Nicks. Maybe they'll duel this Friday at the Sprint Center.
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