And now, for no good reason at all, a funny story about a cat. Told by Pitch clubs editor Berry Anderson:
In the spring of '94, I got a kitten from my 10th-grade history teacher.
She was all white with a big gray smudge on her head, so I named her Smudge.
Smudge stayed in Long Beach when I moved out here and lived with the rest of my family.
She stayed with my mother on the northside until my mother died, and then she moved in with my brother and sister, who live in a pretty nice neighborhood. Smudge became a full-time outdoor cat at this point.
Smudge literally roams the neighborhood. Once, my brother had a
conversation with the janitor at the elementary school across the
street from their house, and the janitor told him that Smudge would follow him
inside the school every so often and wander around the halls and in and
out of the classrooms once or twice a week. Most of the neighbors know
her and feed her, too.
She comes home every so often, eats a can of food, takes a nap, then
bounces again. My sister has a chihuahua. The dog and cat don't get
along so well because Smudge is OLD and not so nice anymore. She also
has to eat canned ground food because she has NO teeth.
Also (I assume given her advanced age), she has developed this
weird cancer shit on her ears. Smudge really likes being outside. One
of her favorite places to take a nap is on the hood of my brother's
Hyundai Accent, so it looks like her ears have been like, microwaved.
My sister has recently taken her to the vet to take care of the
problem, and Smudge was on meds.
Anyway, I got a call last night from my sister who told me that
Smudge had been missing for about nine days, so she went and asked the
neighbors if they had seen her. Finally, she talked to this crazy
neighbor lady who told my sister that she took Smudge (who obviously
wears no collar) to this nice, clean, no-kill shelter in Orange County.
My sister is going to bust her out today. We found her on the shelter's Web site, and we are pretty sure that no one will adopt her with this picture they took of her, with her amputated ears and the new horrible name they gave her: Twinkie.
It's just so funny the way how they are trying to adopt Smudge out
by telling people, "Oh, she loves to have her head scratched!" and "she
was rescued from the streets."
She's just an old, mean-ass cat with really sharp claws. Once the pain medication wears off, they'll figure it out.
The moral of this story is make your cat wear a collar. I'm glad
Smudge didn't end up in the Long Beach shelter because she would've
been a goner for sure.
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My mother died, Grammar Cop, not the cat.
I'll let you off with a warning this time, but next time you get the Taser.
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