Poor Katie Horner. The matriarch of meteorology just wants you to seek shelter -- intermediately! -- with your emergency kit (and there's still time to gather one up before the next rain).
But some unappreciative souls want her fired.
And some heathens -- we're looking at you Lawerence.com -- want you to use her insightful, motherly weather forecasts to get drunk.
Just look at this.
The Katie Horner Drinking Game
If Katie's wearing jeans, it's clearly casual day. All players must be in their underwear.
If Katie mentions a watch or a warning of any type, hold tight to your drink and sip nervously.
If Katie tells you it's hailing in you area, run outside to freshen the ice in your cup.
If Katie speaks directly to your children, give them a heavy dose of cough syrup. (If you don't have kids, drink it yourself.)
If Katie says "Tonganoxie," everyone passes their drink to the person on the right and chugs.
If Katie says "Take cover," top off your drink. It's gonna be a long night.
If Katie talks about being scared for your life, chug.
If Katie asks the audience to e-mail her rainfall totals or storm damage reports, take a crazy party pic and send it to her.
If Katie references Newschopper 5, take 5 gulps.
If Katie announces a tornado warning, fire up the blender and make some pina coladas.
If Katie talks about Doppler coupling, make out with the person to your left.
If Katie walks off screen, take a long, steady chug until she returns.
If Katie talks about peace of mind, drink.
If Katie tells you you're in the clear, the game ends.
If a tornado actually hits your house, move the party to KCTV5 and get Katie drunk with you!
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How funny! I'd have to be passed out for Katie to stay on my set for more than 6 seconds. It's become an immediate response for me to grab the remote if she appears. KCTV5 could come up with some pretty good dream teams if they'd replace her with Gary Amble. As it stands now, I can't get myself to watch any of their M-F evening newscasts and I have to find a totally different program if I'm watching something on Channel 5 and a slight chance of a raindrop is in the immediate forecast! Maybe someday if I'm already toasted enough, I'll try this new game! Thanks for the clever idea, I love it!
Almost forgot. When you have a nado warning, you should wear your bicycle helmet. According to Horner, not me
Anyone figure out why they pulled her bio with the 3 schools she dropped out of. You do know her degree is in P.R? She was "certified as a weather chick, but nobody knows from where. Online? She take the test?
Well, sorry Adam.
Being a lazy bastard and posting a stupid drinking game on Facebook will not make you an internet careerist.
Good luck with that attention and upkeep.
That's kinda what I was going for, KC.
It's too bad that facebook requires log-in. I used to keep a blog a looong time ago. That would have solved the problem, but it requires too much attention and upkeep.
if Adam wrote this he should be nominated for a Pulitzer. He should also be shortlisted for the Booker Prize and the National Book Award.aw hell! he deserves a MacArthur genius grant!!!
wait, i tried to look ath the original that Adam wants credit for and I have to be signed up for facebook to see it. I clicked through the other link to lawrence.com and this originates with someone else in a comment thread. Accept it Adam, your funny list now belongs to the internet not you. Don't act all snippy about it, just say "hey! I made that up and if you like it you should check out my other ideas."
she is a motormouth. someone should tape that big mouth shut. what needs to be said in one sentence takes her a page of paragraphs. and just to make sure that you are bored beyond belief she then repeats herself. if there is a slight breeze in the air she will turn it into the saga of Moby Dick. She is the poster child of pathological prolixity. I hope a twister gets her. she must be blackmailing someone at channel 5 to keep her job.
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