Somebody must have hurt Jason Whitlock real, real bad. Our favorite "patient and attentive gardener" pens another sad Fox Sports column, this time wondering why pro athletes get married.
Because they can love, Jason.
The human experiment in mass and density must be having a hard time finding "a blossoming May flower" to "fertilize into a special, 28-year-old bouquet." So he's down on marriage and acting like Richard Jefferson left him at the altar.
Marriage and pro athletes just don't mix, the butterball of bitterness writes, and he's here to let us know the secrets a sports writer who hangs around naked dudes in a locker room knows. For example, "strange tang."
Strange Tang is the No. 1 topic of conversation inside a locker room.You don't say.It's not steroids, the playbook or the next opponent. It's gossip about
strip clubs, girls met in soon-to-be-visited cities on Facebook and
Myspace and getting drunk.
But don't mistake our resident fitness expert.
He's not against marriage; he just understands the way pro athletes'
minds work. Mastering the metaphor in, three ... two ... one ...
The athlete and the wife know it's a lie on their wedding day. Heknows he's on a moving train and he can't jump off. She knows she
jumped on that moving train and it never really slowed the whole time
they were dating. It might've momentarily stopped, unloaded old
passengers and re-boarded new ones, but she knows exactly where the
train is headed and has a pretty good estimate on just how many miles
are left on the trip.
The desperate hope is the marriage will survive until he retires and then the train will stop for good.
That's
the biggest pipe dream going. By the time the train stops, he
absolutely loves the ride. He can't sleep without the steady hum of the
tracks, the rocking of the compartment, the look and the smell of the
new passengers.
Whitlock's advice: "Just test
drive. That way, the new car smell they love never goes away."
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I guess thats how you feel if you hang out with chicks that like to flash the "Shocker" sign to every photographer.. Note to Jason... you won't want to take that home to meet Mommy..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S...
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