Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from area basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do this for one reason: Knowledge is power.
[Since The Counterfeit Candidate includes no illustrations, your Crap Archivist is including photos from the April 14, 1975, People piece "Ronald Reagan Hits the Road, Preaching and Making Friends."]
"His alleged fiscal responsibility is a carefully-assembled non-joke by highly skilled speech writers and public relations agents. They must have hired the writers from Gilligan's Island."No, no. If that had happened, Reagan would have teamed up with the Globetrotters!
"Kent Steffgen has earned his money acting as an escort for plump old ladies and spent most of his money to buy the services of plump young men."That's from the pseudonymous "Deguello Report on the American Right Wing," a 1976 "expose" from within the white supremacist movement. According to Jeffrey Kaplan's fascinating Encyclopedia of White Power, the Deguello Report's author attempted to discredit rivals by labeling them as socialist, Jewish or homosexual, a standard technique of the fringe right. (Today, we'd add "born in Kenya" to that list.)
"Everytime Reagan signed one of those drastic measures, he had a soothing jar of Vaseline on hand to rub down the victim; a special onitment. Up with the Muzak, down with the lights, on with the logic and apologies, so the victim always managed to walk away from it half-tranquilized. Reagan was running a giant massage parlor in Sacramento."Reagan Responds!
"On one of his latest films, Warren kept trying to seduce the still photographer on the set. When she declined, Beatty had her fired -- but only after humiliating her to tears by publicly zipping down her slacks on the set."And that, dear reader, is the last honest anecdote ever to appear in a glossy magazine's celebrity profile.
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Because its Fox news component needs to keep topping itself the right's most extreme rhetoric is becoming more and more mainstream. after they've called the pres a socialist, what is left? Guys like Steffgen used to be an embarassment to the Republican party, nor they're de facto spokesmen.
Dr. Crap,
I am most interested to know if your millionaire owner in Arizona actually requires physically invasive mental reprogramming of all Pitch writers. If so, do you think Steffgen and the author of the Duguello Report were exposed to something similar?
This, of course assumes in The Pitch�s reprogramming Jewish, homosexual, and socialist tags are replaced with old, liar, and racist tags.
I am just trying to figure out how someone can become so devoid to common sense.
Anyway, stay fat!!
XOXOXOXOX
(the) Trevor
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