Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do this for one reason: Knowledge is power.
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My proudest entries: How to Be Happy Though Married, Tim LaHaye's ladyparts-smell-funny book of marital advice, and McAllister Ransom's brilliant/scarifying run-on of a novel Fuzzy Mules, Pink Slippers Volume One: Came a Clown. Everyone else's favorite entry: Bill O'Reilly's filthy audiobook Those Who Trespass.
Instead of a meal, this week we have a buffet. Here's seven ill-conceived publications worth being confused by.
1. First, some good news in the struggle against Tom Cruise's overlords!
Yes, something can be done about Scientology!
While it may look like some prank from those Anonymous protesters, this poorly written pamphlet is the full-on real Hubbard deal, straight from a Scientology center.
The highlight is this photo illustration suggesting that all of the prophets and seers in religious history are mere steps toward the spiritual perfection achieved by the Scientology twerp who looms over them.
Jesus looks a little uncomfortable, which I can understand. I mean, he is standing next to Mohammad on Picture Day.
2. Jesus also turns up in our second book, which offers a revelation omitted from the gospels.
Author Parsley explains further on the back cover:
Turns out, the King of Kings was mighty inconsiderate.
3. Not that the ladies seem to mind.
4. There's also some Jesus in our fourth Craplet, the October 2007 issue of The Torch, the "Christians United for Israel Magazine." Here is an article that may surprise you:
How little our religious differences matter when there's an apocalypse to root for!
5. Bob Maddux's 1979 fantasy novel Gem of the Wanderer from Bible Voice Incoroporated fails to live up to the three promises on its covers.
First, it's not "As contemporary as Star Wars," as the back cover insists.
Neither is it "As timeless as The Lord of the Rings."
Worst of all, it doesn't truly star John Ritter.
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I have come across some articles and Ebooks that are helpful to premature ejaculation. Acturally most of the premature ejaculation can be cured through natural treatments. I hope the article from the recourse below would be helpful to you. Good Luck!
I planted flowers at Rod Parsley's church in Columbus, Ohio. Summer job at a garden store. Owner went to Parsley's church.
Shudder.
For Serious:
Keep 'em coming. You make my week.
For The Yuks:
"Happy 2nd blog b-day, Scherstuhl!" the Lord of Hosts ejaculated, prematurely.
but Jesus can keep right on going, so it doesn't really matter. Congratulations!
Congratulations on a whole steamin' year of crap!
My mom actually owned the Ahnold book. The cover does seem to promise humor that never materializes, but ask yourself this--if it helps women be proud of their Bunda, should any of us really laugh?
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