Kids in the United States have a sanitized view of Santa Claus. Sure, he allegedly makes a list dividing the naughty from the nice, but, practically speaking, the only punishment for greedy little brats is not getting the latest PlayStation Whatever.
European folklore is far different. For children in countries like Germany and Austria, Old Saint Nick has a terrifying companion who kicks ass and takes names. Krampus, a creepy demon with goatlike horns and mangy hair, doesn't care if you're 5 years old. If you're making life miserable for your mom, have fun nursing the welts from your birch-stick beating in hell, kiddo.
This Christmas, we decided to get in the holiday spirit by making our own list of Kansas City residents -- ones who could use a visit from an evil ghoul instead of a jolly dude in a red suit.
The first target: William Threatt Jr., former president of the Community Development Corporation of Kansas City.
Like a kid who spills his crap all over the floor and then refuses to pick it up, Threatt created a gigantic mess at the corner of 63rd Street and Prospect Avenue and then bailed when the slowly accumulating shit storm was about to break.
During his tenure at the CDC-KC, Threatt didn't build a shiny $90 million shopping complex called Citadel Plaza -- he created a festering dump. He pissed off homeowners, incurred multimillion-dollar lawsuits (not to mention the interest, it appears, of federal investigators) and condemned neighbors to live in a virtual trash heap for years.
Then, after he'd dug such a deep hole that even his biggest fans on the City Council were starting to jump ship, Threatt quietly slipped out the door this summer. He claimed he was simply retiring. Krampus thinks he was a big pussy.
Traditionally, Krampus shoulders a canvas bag to cart away children and cast them into the pits of hell. But in this case, the hulking monster might be more inclined to toss the former developer into one those asbestos-contaminated holes that gouge the ghostly Citadel wasteland.
Photo illustration by Heather Manica.
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