Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Pitch box hijacked to teach kids the founders loved Jesus

Posted by Alan Scherstuhl on Wed, Mar 3, 2010 at 7:00 AM

charly.jpg
Charley Morasch, quit stuffing your American government packets in our boxes.
Evolution hatin' Charley Morasch has an important message for America, so either he (or some passionate fan of his) has addressed the people through the most powerful means possible: stuffing a shitty pamphlet into the Pitch box in front of the Half Price Books on Metcalf. This is the modern equivalent of nailing theses to the church door.

The pamphlet, credited to Morasch and titled "American Government Supplemental Mini-Course," proves once and for all that some of America's founding fathers were big on this Jesus guy.

It also reveals that our heathen public schools don't tell the kids this, and that this is a terrible crime, and that the kids need to stop reading Beezus & Ramona or tracing hand-turkeys or whatever and instead memorize that one thing John Quincy Adams said that one time.

So the new Reformation begins. Seriously, stuffing your thoughts into our streetboxes and hoping the universe notices is different from prayer in only one respect. Doing this, somebody actually hears.

Anyway, Morasch includes hooray-for-Jesus quotes from George Washington, Patrick Henry, Daniel Webster and even slave-fucking French-speaker Thomas Jefferson, who is known for cutting thousands of verses out of the New Testament and publishing his own bible. Morasch should probably have pointed that out, since he, too, is an expert on ignoring great heaps of evidence in favor of the tiny little bits that fit his opinion.

In an introduction, Morasch -- a failed Blue Valley School Board candidate -- explains that he wrote this as a "curriculum supplement" to public school social studies classes because he's interested in "correcting the harm to our children."

He adds, helpfully, "I have a Bachelor of Science in history but no professional background in historical writing or in education curriculum," which means he is ideally qualified to design school coursework. Still, he claims that two history professors from Emporia -- neither of them identified -- have verified his accuracy.

Morasch proves that the people who left God out of the Constitution actually meant for this to be a Christian nation, and they probably meant to tell us this 200 years ago, but nobody had invented Pitch boxes yet.

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alan, your box was empty, much like the logic in your anger filled rants...charley

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Posted by charley on 04/16/2010 at 8:37 PM

Alan, I love how you put this:

...the kids need to stop reading Beezus & Ramona or tracing hand-turkeys or whatever and instead memorize that one thing John Quincy Adams said that one time.

He should talk to the guy who runs Hobby Lobby. He takes out a full page ad in many national newspapers (including the Star) on the 4th of July listing all kinds of quotes, all 100% verified I'm sure, from our founders declaring their love for Jesus.

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Posted by jjskck on 03/03/2010 at 8:57 PM

This guy is an anti-evolution nut. It's sad he was reduced to this!

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Posted by Knopp on 03/03/2010 at 11:48 AM

Wait, a Kansas school baord turned down a right wing crazy-pants? Hooray for Kansas!

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Posted by MB on 03/03/2010 at 7:59 AM
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