Friday, March 26, 2010

Clothes Whores Pet Peeve No. 9: Unnecessary Mardi Gras beads

Posted By on Fri, Mar 26, 2010 at 10:30 AM

click to enlarge A visit from the unnecessary bead fairy
  • A visit from the unnecessary bead fairy

I blame the liquor companies.

See, beer and liquor reps and their distributors are always dreaming up new promotional schwag to hand out in bars and at concerts. I still see Jäger Girls from time to time. I have a Bacardi key chain. I light my other people's cigarettes with a Red Stripe lighter. I'm not complaining, but I'm basically displaying probable cause for a vehicle search for open containers 24/7.

However, I think this is how people end up wearing stupid shit like Mardi Gras beads outside of February, where Mardi Gras beads belong. It must have started with the liquor reps and went on to infect party favor manufacturers of all stripes. And now, suddenly, you'll be watching the St. Patrick's Day parade or at a Halloween party, and you'll look down, and dammit, there they are. Beads.

That's what happened to Neelay Shah the other night at the soft opening for Method, a men's clothing boutique (is there a manly word for "boutique"?) at 15th and Grand, which is scheduled to open for reals on April 17.

Shah, who is an attorney in Kansas City, says that some random girl threw the string of gold beads around his neck at the event and told him that people were wearing them next door, at a benefit being held for something-or-other. When Shah stopped in the Czar Bar next door later that evening and asked about the benefit, everyone looked at him crazy. So we're not clear on that, but what matters here is that Shah ended up wearing beads in March, which is wrong.

click to enlarge Look sharp!
  • Look sharp!
I mean, look how other people were dressed at Method. Swank, right?

"I always see beads at events that involve a large group of people drinking outside, during the day," Shah says.

As if to prove his bar association membership, Shah defended himself thusly: "For the record, I don't regret wearing my beads. I may be a douchebag, but I stand by my decision. Beads are fun."

Hold up, hold up. No one's calling Shah a douchebag. We're just saying, beads = unnecessary on an otherwise well-dressed man. And that is all.

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