Chicago wasn't a bust for Kansas City's reigning
air guitar champion, Eric "Mean" Melin. But it wasn't good enough to punch his ticket to the U.S.
Air Guitar Championships in New York.
Melin dressed like a nerdy school boy sat on a drum riser while air roadie Peter "Stiff" Dickens pranced the the stage in drag, tearing off a denim dress and revealing a blue bikini -- just like in Van Halen's "Hot For Teacher" video.
Melin tore into the song, and while starting shaky, finished strong enough to place third in the opening round. That earned him a spot in the Chicago finals against homegrown air guitar heroes Nordic Thunder, Sanjar the Destroyer (STD!) and Romeo Dance Cheetah, whose flawless first-round performance impregnated at least five women in the crowd (according to a douchey judge from Playboy).
The finals' compulsory song was Bon Jovi's keyboard heavy "Runaway."
Melin killed, playing keyboard and hitting air guitar chord. The judges rewarded him with a score that made him the front runner. But they hadn't seen Nordic Thunder and Sanjar the Destroyer.