The air guitar hero's journey is never an easy one.
Kansas City's reigning air guitar champion, Eric "Mean" Melin, found out when he hit the road in an attempt to qualify for the U.S. Air Guitar Championships.
Melin's five-city tour ended with a couple of second place finishes (Milwaukee and Denver), three third-places finishes (actually a fourth place in Chicago, but the judges said third) and making the final round every night of his tour.
But it wasn't enough. Melin didn't qualify for the finals.
Last night in Denver, he says he "fucking nailed the first round" with
"straight 5.9s."
"I just killed in Denver," he says.
Going
in to the final round, Melin trailed Dreamcatcher by a tenth of a
point. The compulsory song was Iron Maiden's
"Hallowed Be Thy Name."
"I kind of nailed that, too," Melin
says. Two judges gave him perfect
6.0 scores. But the two other judges gave him a 5.7 and a 5.8.
"I had it, and I lost it," he says.
Melin may be taking his air guitar to Vegas.
HisMean
air guitar skills also couldn't top Dreamcatcher smashing a couple of
beers together on the stage, sending the suds flying. Colorado was his
last stand. Or was it?
Björn Türoque and Hot Lixx Hulahan encouraged him to enter
the Las Vegas regional.
"I'm considering it ... truth be told,"
he says. "But I don't have
the money right now."
If Mean Melin doesn't make a surprise
appearance in Vegas, he'll likely be done for the year. But this doesn't
mean the end of Mean Melin. He'll air guitar again in 2011.
"Absolutely,"
he says of a 2011 return.
But don't weep for Mean Melin.
"The
best thing about this tour was being a apart of the air guitar
community and having random audience members tell me how much they dug
my performance every night," Melin says. "Fucking great time, man!"
In
other air guitar news, I didn't realize one of the competitors had ties
to the Kansas City area. Matt Cornelison, who goes by the
moniker Romeo Dance Cheetah, is originally from Gladstone (he
lives in Chicago now) and graduated from Kearney High School. He was
Chicago's 2009 air guitar champion.
"This year's
performance was intense! I went into the Chicago Regional with
confidence, but I knew there would be some stiff competish," Romeo Dance
Cheetah tells me. "There were 7
regional champions that showed up. Nordic Thunder was the
reigning
Chicago champ two years in a row before me, and he was to make his
comeback
this year. I came out strong and tied for first place in the first
round, but my second round score wasn't high enough."
Despite
having what I believed to be the best first-round performance at the
Chicago regional, Romeo Dance Cheetah finished third overall. Here's a
video of the Chicago regional (watch for Melin at the 17-second
mark.
"I had no intention of going to Milwaukee, but the other air
guitarists and I all went dancing at a gay bar called Berlin after the
competish," Rome Dance Cheetah says. "And in that time everyone --
including Mean Melin -- convinced
me to go to make the trip."
Romeo Dance Cheetah topped Mean Melin to take the Milwaukee
regional. See the sexy reasons why in this video.
"It was funny because Chicago's was
at The Metro and had around 1,000 peeps, Milwaukee was in a brewery and
about 100 people showed up," Romeo Dance Cheetah says. "They also had a
beer called 'Mustache Ride
Pale Ale,' so I knew this place had promise. I made some adjustments to
the routine and it worked out great!"
Mean Melin didn't do too
bad in Milwaukee either.
Finally, Sanjar The Destroyer (STD) has retired from U.S. Air
Guitar competitions, and he didn't go out quietly. In his latest radio
podcast -- No.
5 -- the former air guitar champ unloads on U.S. Air Guitar (he's
competed 14 times, won twice).
STD was not happy at all with the judging of this year's Chicago
regional in which judges asked the audience who they thought the winner should be during an "air-off" overtime competition with Nordic
Thunder, who ended up winning after receiving the loudest cheers.
STD also had a beef with Zero Prospects, one of that
night's judges. He called her
"the Yoko Ono of air guitar" and criticized her for docking him points
for using a U.S. Air Guitar edit of Boston's "Taking My Time." But it
wasn't just her. He wasn't happy with the way the competitions are
judged, which sounds ridiculous but he notes that many competitors have
spent hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars on entry fees, airfare and
hotel rooms.
"I like to think of air guitar as the worst girlfriend that you could
ever have," STD said. "At first you meet her and she's really sexy and
fun and everybody wants to hang around her and she knows how to have a
good time and party and she tells the best jokes and wears really short
skirts and has a lot of friends on MySpace. And it's like, what's not to
like, right? ... And then you start falling for her, and you do
everything in your power to impress her, and when she gives you the
slightest bit of attention, you crap your pants. But the whole time
never realizing that she's a stupid, black-out drunk that will bang
anybody to make her look better and never remembers it the next
morning."
STD said he was "thoroughly embarrassed" to ever have competed in U.S.
Air Guitar competitions due to judges being wasted during the competitions and playing favorites.
"I'm done. I'll never play at a U.S.
Air Guitar show again, " he said. "I'll play for France. I'll play for
any country. But I won't play for U.S., never again. So I'm going to go
out with a song dedicated just for them from Sanjar The Destroyer.
Enjoy, douchebags."
The song was Megadeth's "Symphony of
Destruction."
Showing 1-9 of 9
Your dedication to the world of air is over the top brother! You ROCK. Period.
Nice post Nordic. Couldn't agree more dude. Can't wait to rip it up with you all at the big dance in July!
You guys are great. I'm not in air guitar, (yet...)but I've had the honor of sippin' a few frosted, sudsy brews with a number of you and let me tell you, there's isn't a finer group of folks to enjoy frosted, sudsy brews with than you guys. It's a great community, full of great people. Mean Melin, you're an inspiration to us all.
Thanks guys.
I love that in USAG, "gross" is a compliment!
Thx, Finns, Shreddy, and RDC for the kind words, they are much appreciated.
Hopefully, the fun isn't over yet. I'm selling Mean Melin t-shirts to try to raise $$ to head to Vegas for one last shot: http://www.scene-stealers.com/...
Great article on Mean Meline. Sounds like there's some solid air heart with competitors like Meline in the masterpiece that is KC. You're definitely what USAG is all about. Looking forward to hanging with you next year!
Mean Melin,
Congrats on your 2010 tour! Sounds like you had an awesome experience and that's what the competition and community is all about.
This is so nicely put: "Life can be so ordinary much of the time: How much fun is it to revel in the absurd?"
Thanks to you and everyone who devotes so much time, energy and money to the absurdity so that us spectators can step out of the ordinary for a while and enjoy the sport of USAG.
Mrs. Flying Finn
p.s. It was a compliment :)
Mean Melin. I've watched your performance bro, and I applaude you. You get it. I hope to see you in NY brothAIR.
SFM
First, Melin, I love you, man. We met at the Chicago regional, and I had a blast. You are a great competitor and great sport and everyone can see your love of the game when you are rockin' on stage. P.S. My wife thinks you are gross (which you should probably take as a compliment).
Second, to Justin Kendall: To hear that you got the bug like the rest of us is just plain awesomeness. We airthletes owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to you and to your brethren in the media, because, well, let's face it, we all have huge egos and love to be written about and recorded for the world to see. Keep on truckin'.
Back to Melin: Next time you are in Chicago, find me. I think I owe you a beer.
Strength and Hon-Air
Flying Finn
Thanks, NT! You are the shit.
What I really love about this article is that it was written by a guy who saw one random show in KC last year, was so taken by the air guitar community that he immediately immersed himself in online videos of the shows, and then this year traveled to Chicago to see the whole huge spectacle. It proves that the absurdity of USAG triumphs above all. I just spent a week following and performing on the tour and I'll never forget it--amazing time.
Life can be so ordinary much of the time: How much fun is it to revel in the absurd?
See photos and videos above for the answer.
Mean Melin
Mean Melin...you fucking rock. I really hope you had a good time playing the cities you did, and it sounds/looks like you DID. It's important to take competitive air guitar seriously, but seriously not serious at the same time. If that makes sense. Someone who clearly I feel does not fully grasp this concept is Sanjar. USAG has been pretty good to you Sanjar, in fact it's been pretty good to anyone who has ever stepped on the stage and competed in a USAG event. The element of FUN is often forgotten with certain competitors. It'll appear someone is having fun on the outside, but the moment they receive low marks or poor criticism, or a shitty score from a wasted judge, the happiness on the outside quickly turns to the true emotions they are feeling on the inside. Which is often bitterness, pissed offness, and in some cases un-necessary poor sportsmanship. I think it's pretty widely accepted across the board, and I'm pretty certain the majority of air guitarists would agree that there are in fact SOME judges that can be pretty awful at their job. But to take a stab at the organization that so generously accepted you into their family with wide open arms. A family of weirdos, long hair, and rock and roll. A FAMILY that accepts everyone and anyone who wishes to enter. To spit the words of pure disgust and hatred towards an organization that does nothing but promote kindness, generousity, brothAIR and sistAIRhood, and acceptance to me is totally uncalled for. Sanjar, I hope that you realize the words that you've said. It's ok to say what's on your mind, and speak what you feel needs to be spoken. But you did it in such a way that was just plain uncalled for. Would you have still been so "thoroughly embarrassed" had you actually won a regional this year? My money says that you would not. You'd be "happy" as a peach, and would have nothing but awesome things to say about USAG and the sport you supposedly love so much.
To tie this ALL back to where I started, with Mean Melin...I think it's fair to say you had FUN. You took the competition serious, but not entirely seriously serious. You left just enough of the seriousness out in order to have FUN. I'd also bet MONEY that you played every single Free Bird jam at the end of every set. This, in my opinion, is a giant group hug to ALL of your fellow competitors and to those in the audience that admire what us Air Guitarists do. Rock and Roll is in your blood Melin, and it pumps freely!!! I'm honored to be a member of the USAG family, and I'm honored to have shared the stage with YOU my fellow Air Guitar brothAIR!!! I WILL see you in the future!!!
Rock
And
Roll
Nordic Thunder
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