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Bad news, New Yorkers: Once again, rightbloggers are pretending to care

what happens to you.

You may remember that right after 9/11 it became trendy for

conservatives to gush over New York and Rudy "America's Mayor" Giuliani.

Then, when it became apparent that New Yorkers still weren't

going to vote Republican, they went back to their usual uncomprehending contempt toward the big, bad City ("I get the

feeling these New Yorker liberals just don't understand how 9-11 changed

things. It's like they don't even remember it").

But this weekend a car bomb was found, undetonated, in Times Square,

and rightbloggers rushed to explain that the non-explosion was, like

the crotch-bomber's non-explosion, all Obama's fault,

and to generally try to make terror work for them, as it did back in

those marvelous days of September 2001, by wrapping the city they

despise in their oily, insincere hugs.

Step one was to amplify the terror -- a bomb

almost/didn't/could have gone off, OMG panic Muslims!

"If the bomber is an American Islamist, this is significant," said Winds of Change. "It means that we're seeing

radical action from the folks who have to date only been talking smack

on the Internet." (And if it's not an Islamist, whatever that

is, then we may as well forget all about it.)

ShrinkWrapped noted that the non-explosion was near

the theater playing The Lion King, which was dispositive:

"Sadly, this is the MO of our enemies in the Ummah; they specifically

target attacks against children and other innocents..." Fausta's Blog concurred: "We're at war, folks."

"Has Obama apologized for the theater district yet, or has he written

another big fat check to jihad?" cried Atlas Shrugs. No, we don't know what she's raving

about, either.

The Pakistan Taliban claimed credit for the non-explosion, and NYPD

identified a videotaped white man as a person of interest.

Government and police officials, as sane people might expect, tried to

calm fears -- which ran counter to the rightblogger agenda.

"As of now, authorities are not considering it terrorism," said Left Coast Rebel. "I only ask -- why not? An answer

is not provided." (We would suggest that a criminal justice system,

unlike rightbloggers, needs evidence, but doubt Left Coast Rebel would

be receptive to this or any other rational explanation.)

Some of them were sufficiently enraged to slam the cops -- yes, those

heroes of 9/11! -- for not playing along with their own jihadist

fantasies. "With NYPD already attempting to squash any terrorism link,"

snarled Protein Wisdom's Darleen Click, "how much can we trust them to be

honest with the findings of their investigation?"

(When a lefty blogger made fun of her, Click went full metal

wingnut: "The Left is disappointed that this terrorist attempt has

knocked Barry and Michelle's star turn at the nerd prom from frontpage

ankle-licking. Poor babies. And not to cause their heads to further

implode..." etc. We charitably assume Click remains devoted to fighting

Al Qaeda, and momentarily turned her wrath on a fellow American only to

keep her fighting fettle sharp until such time as a target of more

terrorist color presented itself.)

My

Pet Jawa complained that the non-explosion was "characterized as

'amateurish' by the authorities and the media. I contend that it would

be more accurate to say the attempt was 'rudimentary.'" No sign yet of

Ray Kelly and the NYPD adopting his nomenclature; maybe they don't know

who My Pet Jawa is? "Also," he added, "using 'amateurish' sends a

message of 'Nana-nana-na-na! You didn't get us!' to the unsuccessful

bomber(s) which could be viewed as official taunting." Which might make

them mad! Well, he's terrorized, anyway.

"No, granny at the tea party is the terrorist threat, right, B.

Hussein?" cried Atlas Shrugs. (Again: Ya got us.)

Even without a definitive named culprit, rightbloggers went in for

saber-rattling and threats. Reliapundit, undoubtedly hoarse from screaming

"Wolverines!", switched from his traditional ALL CAPS to upper and lower case, but

was no less full-throatedly insane: " I think it's silly to care one

whit whether this was the act of Pakistani jihadists or local ones or

Iraqi ones -- and so on... We have to attack them all. Everywhere...

YES: I MEAN WE SHOULD BE FIGHTING TOTAL WAR. LIKE FDR AND TRUMAN DID."

Well, we knew he couldn't stay away from the caps lock for long.

At least as significant as any Islamist (or Islamacist or

Islama-dama-ding-dong or whatever) involvement was that of the real

culprit in anything bad that ever happens in America today: Kenyan

pretender Barry Osama. Obama made a statement about the non-explosion, but it

wasn't good enough for The

Jawa Report -- because Obama also made a statement about the Gulf

oil spill, proving his malfeasance. "Our Glorious Leader, Barack Hussein

Obama (MMM MMM MMM) Takes Aim At.... The terrorist upon our shores,"

MPJ wrote. "Nice to see our Glorious Leader up to speed on the threats

to our safety." In case you don't have the decoder ring, that was

sarcasm.

"Despite Obama's attempt to schmooze them," said Publius Forum, "radical Islamists are still the

enemy of civilization." Take a deep breath for The Black Kettle: "Well I am sure if there is a

connection to Islamists then the Obama administration and his lackeys in

the MSM will downplay the entire episode whereas if it is a lone

nutcase or militia type the administration and MSM will howl about it

for months and use it as pretext to attack their political enemies."

"Terrorist Threat Still Real Even if Obama Administration is in Denial,"

said Florida Pundit. Fortunately someone dared to speak

truth to power: "New York Governor David Patterson was the only

government official ready to call this an act of terrorism." Thank God

we have, in contrast to traitors like Obama and NYPD Commissioner Ray

Kelly, men of honor like David Paterson!

Considering the shit he gets for being President when things don't

blow up, imagine what would happen if he were President when New York's

tallest buildings were successfully attacked by terrorists! Let us hope

such a thing never, ever happens.

But the worst part, for any

of us have claimed the proud title of

Citizen of New York, was the clammy hand of rightbloggers clamping on

the shoulders of New Yorkers, simultaneously pretending to offer solace

for the non-explosion and demanding political favors.

At National Review, Bill Burck and Dana Perino admitted that "no one

yet knows for sure who is responsible for the attempted terrorist attack

in Times Square last night" before sliding right into "whoever did

this, we can be sure, is in league with the underwear bomber, Major

Hasan, and other terrorists either in fact or in spirit."

After that unproven assertion, they cried, "New Yorkers, it's time for

you to demand that the administration come to its senses and officially

shut down the civilian terror trial in NYC."

Conservatives have been pushing to have that trial moved to Guantanamo Bay

-- not because other New York terrorist trials have failed, but because

they have succeeded; after all, if that keeps up, it will be

harder for such as Burck and Perino to terrorize people into

Republicanism.

New Yorkers have shown themselves to be divided over having the KSM trial in New York, and

Burck and Perino apparently hope that the unexploded car might scare a

few more of them over to their side. "New Yorkers have enough to worry

about," they cooed, "without politicians in Washington making them even

bigger targets."See, New York? They have only your best interests at

heart -- so stop clutching your wallets!

And so did rightblogger Jules Crittenden: "I Heart New York," he gushed, and

then, after a lot of be-terrorized-damn-ya yap, praised the Apple as

"capital of the world and a front line in the Global War on Terrorism ...

the expression, of the hopes and dreams of so many millions of people.

I love every minute I spend in that place, even when it breaks my

heart..."

How sweet. Normally Crittenden regards Gotham thus: "There is also no shortage of

people out there who want to jam people's heads into all kinds of

engineering projects. In New York City, for example, men who present

themselves as women may now use the ladies room in subway stations,

regardless of the status of their plumbing, let alone their DNA." Hur

hur, fags a-usin' the ladies room -- only in New York!

But seriously, ya big queers, Crittenden loves ya for what you could

be -- casualties, whose broken bodies he could use to terrorize other

Americans into voting Republican. But, being New Yorkers, you probably

already figured out that he isn't to be trusted -- and that, as long as

this story stays in the news, he's not the last such con man you'll have

to be on the lookout for.

Roy

appears courtesy of our sister paper in New York City, Village Voice.