Friday, May 7, 2010

El Chupacabra stalks the night in Lee's Summit, murders three goats

Posted By on Fri, May 7, 2010 at 1:00 PM

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The beast walks among us, searching for goat blood.
Dark mysteries on the farm lands of Lee's Summit. Thursday morning, Dawn Applequist awoke to find one of her goats dead with the entire side of its body ripped off. It was the third goat to be murdered in the night in as many days.

"Whatever is doing it, it's very quiet, it's happening very quiet," Applequist told reporters, before continuing in what should have been a frightened whisper. "This happened last night, and I didn't hear a thing."

Clearly this is the work of the fabled "El Chupacabra" -- literally translated to mean "goat sucker." The legendary reptile/coyote hybrid can only subsist on the blood of livestock, and, as its name suggests, prefers the fresh plasma of the common domestic goat.

Recorded sightings of the evasive beast of Mexican legend describe exactly the type of behavior happening at Applequist's farm. As recently as January 2008, Chupacabra killed eight chickens in Capiz province of the Philippines.

Lest you think this is actually the work of a wild animal, Applequist has already contacted the Missouri Department of Conservation, and Lee's Summit Animal Control. Neither has responded to her complaints. She's also questioned her neighbors about coyotes, but no one has seen any in the area.

Residents should be on the look out for something resembling a hairless, wild dog, with reptilian skin, forked tongue and long fangs. Do not attempt to capture the monster yourself, but call animal control immediately.

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