Friday, May 14, 2010

Matt Bartle scores victory against titties, Missouri a signature away from ban on lap dances

Posted By on Fri, May 14, 2010 at 11:15 AM

click to enlarge Matt Bartle to strippers: Put your shirt on!
  • Matt Bartle to strippers: Put your shirt on!

Puritanical Missouri state Sen. Matt Bartle finally struck his death blow against the state's nudie bars yesterday.

After Bartle, a Lee's Summit Republican, threw a tantrum earlier this week in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch ("I've grown really frustrated with an overwhelming Republican

Legislature that tells people we support family values and that we're

social conservatives. And we can't get a regulation of the porn industry

through the Legislature"), lawmakers rose up against lap dances.

Hey, there are elections coming up! May I suggest a "Tough on Titties" campaign slogan?

Bartle's bill, S.B.

586, passed the Senate 27-4 and the House 118-28 on Thursday. Now

it goes to Gov. Jay Nixon, who will probably sign it to prove

he's, you know, hard. Hard on porn.

If Nixon signs, the law will :

  • outlaw

    full nudity in strip clubs. 

  • require a 6-foot buffer between strippers and

    customers. Touching won't be allowed. No word if nuns will patrol clubs to make sure everyone's leaving room for Jesus.

  • shut down adult entertainment businesses between

    midnight and 6 a.m.

  • outlaw liquor sales at strip clubs as well as drinking

    on the premises. So no BYOB clubs.

  • create a

    1,000-foot buffer zone between adult

    businesses and schools, churches, day cares, libraries, parks, homes and

    other adult businesses.

"Most human beings understand that if you mix

alcohol and women dancing in the nude, that's a tough combo," Bartle told The Kansas City Star. "Bad things

happen."

Only if you've been shamed into thinking boners are bad. Hey, another slogan!

Bartle may have a point though. Just look at the debauchery.


Don't

expect the clubs to take this lying down. A lawsuit is coming.

Photo

by Luke Echterling

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