Puritanical Missouri state Sen. Matt Bartle finally struck his death blow against the state's nudie bars yesterday.
After Bartle, a Lee's Summit Republican, threw a tantrum earlier this week in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch ("I've grown really frustrated with an overwhelming Republican
Legislature that tells people we support family values and that we're
social conservatives. And we can't get a regulation of the porn industry
through the Legislature"), lawmakers rose up against lap dances.
Hey, there are elections coming up! May I suggest a "Tough on Titties" campaign slogan?
Bartle's bill, S.B.
586, passed the Senate 27-4 and the House 118-28 on Thursday. Now
it goes to Gov. Jay Nixon, who will probably sign it to prove
he's, you know, hard. Hard on porn.
If Nixon signs, the law will :
full nudity in strip clubs.
customers. Touching won't be allowed. No word if nuns will patrol clubs to make sure everyone's leaving room for Jesus.
midnight and 6 a.m.
on the premises. So no BYOB clubs.
1,000-foot buffer zone between adult
businesses and schools, churches, day cares, libraries, parks, homes and
other adult businesses.
alcohol and women dancing in the nude, that's a tough combo," Bartle told The Kansas City Star. "Bad things
happen."
Only if you've been shamed into thinking boners are bad. Hey, another slogan!
Bartle may have a point though. Just look at the debauchery.
Don't
expect the clubs to take this lying down. A lawsuit is coming.
Photo
by Luke Echterling
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