Update (1:28 p.m. July 30): Kansas City blogger Shea Sylvia is taking some lumps for her blog/Guardian article about being stalked on Foursquare. More than lumps, really. Yesterday, she blogged that she'd received "a graphic, detailed account of how this
person would like to brutally rape and then kill me." Scary stuff. She wrote that she filed a police report.
Not that anyone here needs a reminder, but the Internet is cruel and vile place.
Original Story (7 a.m. July 28): Internet pervs can ruin
everything so it was just a matter of time before Foursquare got stalkery. Unfortunately
for Kansas City blogger Shea Sylvia, she found that out herself (shared
in a blog post
that ended up as a
bylined article on the Guardian's website and later on
sharp-clawed Jezebel).
Sylvia
was at a restaurant having dinner with friends with the manager stopped
over and told her that she had a phone call. She thought it was a joke.
It wasn't. The creep's name was "Brian," and he started off with the
subtle, "I saw that you checked in there on Foursquare, Shea." Freaky.
It gets worse.
"I like to
hang out with people from the internet too. Maybe we should hang out
sometime. What do you think about that?" Brian asked.
And then he offered to "ride bikes together." Let's back up here, who calls restaurants and asks for people in 2010?
At least Brian was a self-aware creeper. "Is this getting creepy?" he
asked. "You probably shouldn't be telling people where you are on
Foursquare, should you, Shea?"
Smooth, Brian ... you creepy douche lord.
As for Sylvia, she was left feeling "angry" and "terrified." But it's not like she's hiding. Her Twitter, blog, website (that's where the picture came from) and other social networking sites are still public.
Guess dealing with the Brians of the Internet is just a creepy cost of business.
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I can hang up faster than most people can talk. Blame the restaurant partially. If it was a non-emergency call from a non-family person then they should not page. If it was an emergency, have the police send the call. The manager was a accomplice in douchery IMO.
JA - I was using Pratt as an example of the general attitude of her posts. I can only judge her by what she chooses to put out there. My point was simply that perhaps she's realizing snark isn't that funny when you're on the receiving end.
Are you seriously arguing that it's ok to comment on someone's behavior only if they're famous and/or if everyone is doing it?
I know your later comments weren't directed at me, but just for the record, I never said she deserved it. Just that she'd made a similar gaff w social media before.
Judgerson - why would being a guy make a difference? I think I'd get just as much crap if this happened to me. Ok, maybe not as many rape threats.
I do know Shea (or did, before she moved). She's not a very nice person, she's kinda hypocritcal, arrogant & desperate for attention, and not that bright. However, that does NOT mean she deserves to get hateful threats. She's young and made a dumb mistake & was lucky Brian didn't stalk or harass or do something worse to her. I'm glad nothing bad came of this because despite her personal flaws (which everyone has) she doesn't deserve death threats. I only hope that the added attention from playing the victim doesn't bring out some of the more motivated creeps.
As far as the judgments people are making, I don't think anyone who says she's dumb or should have known better is saying she deserved it. There are people saying that, of course, but those are two different statements.
I can't speak for anyone, but my guess is the way she wrote the "cautionary tale" is irritating to some people because it's sort of like warning everyone about something they already knew & expected she would know, kind of like stories of people who put in their bank on a grammatically questionable site then whine about being scammed. No, they didn't deserve it. Yeah, it's good to get the warning out. But really, they should know better, that's all. Her writing is a little arrogant & judge-y & look-at-me at times & can rub people the wrong way.
That said, we are a society that takes joy in the mistakes of others (just look at the popularity of reality tv or the coverage of Lohan). There are a also a lot of dangerous people out there (most of whom don't need 4sq to get their victims). I do think that if we want to build a better, safer community either online or IRL we have to not only expect each member to be more responsible but also do a better job of just having each other's backs. I know, it sounds lame & hopefully people won't start hating on me.
But I just wish people were nicer.
Your face is unverifiable.
I find it interesting how quickly everyone has jumped on the hater bandwagon. I wonder what the reaction would be if Shea were a man instead of a woman.
Sounds like a self created story by a hack blog writer. I bet this is all manufactured. You will notice that with the hack blogger types they always make themselves the center of the story. People like Shea or Tony's Kansas City manufacture stories and controversy in order to draw more traffic to their blog. It's pretty easy to file a false police report. Her story is unverifiable.
Eno-
Much like I said to Randy Bobandy, think before you type. Ignorance is not bliss. I've followed Shea's blog for many years and if you would actually search for "Spencer Pratt" on the Archives page, you would see that there are exactly 4 enteries, 1 of which is a retweet. Of the 4, the worst is comparing Jon Gosselin to him due to his *excellent* choice of hot pink Ed Hardy apparel.
It is well known that the Ed Hardy brand is generally associated with people who act douchey so that's nothing new...been said a thousand different ways a million times over. I'm pretty sure that her situation is different. Judging a complete stranger saying she "deserves it" and that she "won't be able to brag to her Facebook friends" is a bit different than passng judgment on a celebrity. She interviewed him for Christ sake so she probably knows a little about him...more than the people on here know about her.
She wasn't in the lime light before this. None of these commenters knew anything about her yet they felt like they knew her well enough to post this kind of stuff:
http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit...
Keeping it classy, Internet. Keeping it classy.
There are still coming up alternative sites like
http://www.whapee.com
where you can post geotagged images anonymously. It's hard to follow you there as long as you don't live alone in a far off location.
Maybe she's a slow-learner:
http://www.businessweek.com/te...
Interesting that she has no trouble with judging & snarky name-calling in any of the blogs she's written about others who aren't too bright (see anything she's written about Spencer Pratt).
Maybe she's a slow-learner:
http://www.businessweek.com/te...
Interesting that she has no trouble with judging & snarky name-calling in any of the blogs she's written about others who aren't too bright (see anything she's written about Spencer Pratt).
Good call Annaundercover,
I like your analogies. Why all the women stuff? It's not ok for all you ladies to be running around grabbing my junk as I walk through westport. Just because I let it hang out.
I agree, J.A.
"...no way she did anything to deserve this."
Essentially, these commenters are saying that it's possible to "ask for it."
It shocks a lot of internet users that they're required to follow the same laws online that they're beholden to "in real life."
Is it OK to take someone's purse just because it's hanging on their shoulder, and you can reach it?
Is it OK to grab someone's breasts, just because you can reach their chest?
Is it OK to stalk someone, just because their information's within reach?
No.
We ALL walk around daily, circulating with the *reasonable* expectation that everyone around us will follow the law.
"Brian" is responsible to make sure he doesn't take anyone's purse, grab anyone's breasts, and--yes!--is even in charge of making sure he doesn't stalk, harass, and threaten anyone.
Just like muggers and sexual predators should face the consequences, I hope this jerk gets what he deserves for harassing an innocent person.
Randy Bobandy-
You're an idot. Like MOST (not all, thankfully) of the people who have left comments so far, VERY classy to make a judgement about someone you don't even remotely know. Before saying anything, think. I've followed Shea's story from the beginning and has it dawned on you, or anyone else for that matter, that she DID NOT deserve this? Doesn't matter what someone says...no way she did anything to deserve this. Whether she makes information public or not, that doesn't give someone the right to become the "I'll-teach-you-a-lesson" gustapo. Think.
For the record, I never said I was stalked. The Guardian used that term. Just wanted to clarify. This was a cautionary tale (as my original post stated) for all of the people who are still checking into Foursquare from their homes and workplaces.
Just wanted to set the record straight.
This sounds like a woman who desperately wants people to know that she is attractive enough to be 'stalked'. Similar to the phenomenon known as 'almost raped'.
Yeah, the guy's a jerk. However, calling a girl at a restaurant to
tell her it's unwise to post your location on 4sq (something any
adult, let alone a self-professed social media expert, who was paying
attention when "the dangers of 4sq" was news *months* ago should
already know) does not equal stalking.
From m-w: "1 : to pursue quarry or prey stealthily
2 : to walk stiffly or haughtily
transitive verb
1 : to pursue by stalking
2 : to go through (an area) in search of prey or quarry
3 : to pursue obsessively and to the point of harassment
� stalk�er noun"
And from urban dictionary: "Note: Far too many idiots think they're
more important than they really are. Real stalkers seek out beautiful,
interesting, and often famous members of the attractive gender. 90
percent of the people who use the term couldn't get a real stalker to
save their lives."
Right, hilarious comment. Because the listing of a phone number and address is EXACTLY the same and just as revealing as a real-time, GPS-based update of one's location. Really. They're the same damn thing.
love dude's comment.
i think this happened to me. typically, i only share my foursquare check-ins with people (who i know) that i'm "friends" with on foursquare, however, i have accidentally checked the "share with twitter" box before, and have had the same thing happen to me. I was getting coffee one morning on my way to work, checked into Mildred's, and as I was walking to my car, the barista came after me, telling me that I had a phone call. No one was there when I answered. Bizarre.
OHMYGOD! There is this book that people can get for free and it lists people's addresses and phone numbers! people can just call you right up or come to your house! WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN!!! Call your congressman and demand your privacy!
LOL! I've been saying that to all that post their crap through Foursquare on FB, that it's just a matter of time, oh walking target, what great trust you place in the general public when posting such things.
But if she doesn't use foursquare, how will she brag to her facebook and twitter friends about the restaurants and bars she goes to?
All you hipsters deserve this.
Hi! I thoughtlessly give away personal details of my life without any regard as to the consequences, which means when some weirdo tries to use the countless details I give out, I get creeped out because I didn't quite think this move through! It's fun!
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