The polls haven't even closed for 24 hours, and while the in-fighting has stopped (well, have Todd Tiahrt and Jerry Moran kissed and made up, yet?) and the partisan attacks are just getting started (whoo hoo!), here's a look back at the winners and losers of the evening.
Winner: Kevin Yoder's casting agent
Kevin Yoder's win last night ensures that for the next three months, his casting agent will have plenty of commercials to fill with child actors and Hollywood dogs. Yoder has not once, but twice used other people's children in his campaign spots. Yoder and his wife, at least I think that's his wife, don't have any children. Kev, can we get a disclaimer? And somebody check those kids' SAG cards.
Loser: The Irish
The luck
of the Irish wasn't with Terry Riley. The termed out city
councilman's campaign sign shamrocks and shenanigans weren't lucky
enough for him to take down ex-Kansas City Chief and Jackson County
Legislator (for life) Fred Arbanas. Riley's attempt at rebranding
himself with green campaign signs featuring a shamrock in the bottom
right-hand corner failed.
Winners: Washington, D.C.'s party
scene
Ain't no party like a Roy Blunt party. The
congressman advances to face Robin Carnahan for Kit Bond's
Senate seat. Blunt's commercials paint him as a common man although he looks more comfortable in at
black tie affairs. Blunt is a well-documented Washington scenester
and his wife, Abigail
Blunt, was named one of D.C.'s "Top
50 Party Animals" in 2009. Those glossy Washington society mags
sure don't show him and Abigail at fancy field parties. Another election
win ensures Blunt will keep throwing hoity-toity soirees where he sings
the "Humpty Dance"
and clinks champagne glasses with the so-called elites.
Loser:
Kansans' safety
If Todd Tiahrt's commercials are to
be believed, "Jerry
Moran loves murder and wants everyone to be murdered," as Pitch
writer Peter Rugg pointed out yesterday. No one is safe. Illegal
immigrants will now receive piggyback rides across the border on Moran's
back. Then again, with their nearly identical voting records, at least
the guy who wondered aloud what would the world would be like if Barack
Obama and Clarence Thomas were aborted lost the race.
Winner:
Sheriff Joe Arpaio
Kansas' undocumented immigrants' worst
enemy Kris Kobach dominated the Republican primary for secretary
of state. So illegals, your days of swinging elections in blood red
Kansas are over. Kobach and the notorious Arizona sheriff who likes to
house his prisoners in tents in the hot desert are probably working on
an agreement where Kobach will bus anyone in Kansas without papers to
one of sheriff's tent farms.
Loser: Me
O'Fallon
loon and ex-Missouri state Rep. Cynthia Davis lost a state Senate
primary to Scott Rupp. Davis, a birther who believes children should get
to work at McDonald's so they can get discounted Happy Meals, has been
one of my favorite subjects, especially as she's become even kookier
with her "drawing-a-line-in-the-sand," call-to-arms rhetoric.
Winner:
Me
Wins by Yoder, Kobach, Blunt, Moran and the rest will
make the next three months of blogging fun. Oh, and even Davis is vowing
she won't go quietly, telling Suburban
Journals: "I will be a force to be reckoned with," she said. "I
will be
a conscience for our party." The fun has just begun.
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