Editor's note: This should not be used as actual gambling advice. Although it's probably just as good.
Just as we predicted last week, Kansas followed its upset of Georgia Tech with a lackluster performance at Southern Miss, where they got blown out and cost us $110. That knocks our bankroll down to $190 -- up $80 from our original investment, but still: the Jayhawks' schizophrenia is a gambler's worst nightmare.
Saturday started stronger, with Kansas State covering its four-point spread against Iowa State in the awesomely nicknamed Farmageddon. A $110 bet on that pushed our account back to $290, up $180.
Ah, but Missouri. The Tigers managed to win a barn burner against San Diego State, but despite the Aztecs being preoccupied by the fact that they GO TO COLLEGE IN FUCKING SAN DIEGO, Mizzou only won by three (they were favored by, like, 84.5.) That knocked the account back to $180, its lowest total since we started. Heading into Sunday's NFL action, we were up just $70.
But, as always, the reliable Chiefs came through. They were underdogs in Shit Bowl XVII, and escaped Cleveland with an outright win, despite their offense looking like the earliest version of the East Dillon Lions. A $110 bet on KC knocked the account back to $280, up $170.
Where We Started: $110
Where We Stand: $280
Central Florida (+7) at Kansas State, Saturday, 11:30 a.m.
Miami (OH) (+18) at Missouri, Saturday, 2 p.m.
New Mexico State (+23) at Kansas, Saturday, 6 p.m.
San Francisco (+1 at one casino, off the board at others) at the Chiefs, Sunday, noon
Half-Ass Prediction of the Week
The college kids come through at home while the Niners -- coming off a loss in New Orleans -- rudely hand the Chiefs their first loss of the season.