Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do this for one reason: Knowledge is power.
The Untold History of America: 1492 - 1963
Author: Ray Bilger
Date: 1996
Publisher: "Phoenix Source Distributors," which is probably just Ray Bilger
Discovered at: Savers, Overland Park
Representative Quote:
"Powerful international forces have been manipulating America from behind the scenes since long before 1776. These forces have been orchestrating wars, installing presidents, controlling our Congress and the courts, illegally and unlawfully controlling our money system, mind-controlling the citizens through television and more subtle means, manipulating the weather, and much more, in a plan designed to culminate in the eventual destruction of America and her Citizens."
Faced with irrational patterns, our minds grasp toward conclusions. That's why you might feel more engaged by the opening of a mystery than its conclusion, or why boys believe chatty strippers and waitresses just might love them back, or why a genuine human adult might post to the Internet an entirely serious piece titled "Lady Gaga, The Illuminati Puppet."
But that's hardly enough to explain The Untold History of America, a book more crazy/upsetting than a clown-tongue bidet.
Across each page the madness fireworks: Nikolai Tesla taught the U.S. Navy time-travel, Henry Kissinger is a Bolshevik, "International Bankers" send earthquakes and volcanoes to destroy America, the space shuttle Challenger was "taken out," and - weirdest of all - the bankers and the feds and the Council on Foreign Relations faked Roswell and all the other alleged UFO crashes.
He writes:
"Information available indicates that vast underground bases in the Southwestern U.S. house hundreds of Earth-based 'flying saucers' with a huge army of genetically produced 'little greys' that will be armed with laser type guns which will kill most efficiently."
The goal?
"But we must remember that this threat does not come from outer space, it comes from evil minds right here on planet Earth; from those who would destroy Earth, and it may even include a 3-dimensional holographic projection of 'Jesus' in the sky to save you, courtesy of Project Blue Beam."
For most Studies in Crap authors, this declaration would be crazy enough. But Bilger has the heart of a champion. He continues on, complaining that the forgotten NBC alien-invasion drama Dark Skies turned out "to be a highly laughable comedy" designed to prepare the public for this fake invasion.
(The culprits? "The CEOs of NBC are always members of the Council on Foreign Relations, which is part of our One World Government, the United Nations.")
But then he mentions this:
"In 1954 President Eisenhower set a meeting at Holloman Air Force Base with a race of extraterrestrials described as 'large-nosed grey aliens.'"
And:
"It is not clear (but doubtful) that JFK knew (as MJ-12 certainly did) that a joint Alien, United States and Soviet Union base already existed on the moon."
So, let's walk through Bilger's theory. Our world leaders pretended to cover up fake close encounters in order to prep us for a fake alien invasion even as they covered up real close encounters. This is like if a nun accused a schoolboy of having dirty thoughts, and the schoolboy distracted her by sticking his hand in his pants.
While he disdains our lying history books, Bilger isn't above cut-and-pasting a picture and caption from one of them.
In fact, the book has but two images. Here's the other:
I think it's safe to say that one wasn't cribbed from Houghton-Mifflin.
Anyway, Bilger doesn't shy away from the term "conspiracy." Instead, he attempts to carve out a case with the chisel of Logic, which in his hands is less steel and strong than it is a slice of microwaved Little Caesar's.
He argues that anytime government officials meet "in private with some advisors, or secretaries, or ministers, or consultants, and a decision is made to withhold some small amount of information from the general population ... then, by definition, we have a conspiracy."
Thus:
"The true history of the world is a history of conspiracies. There is not then, nor can there ever be, such a thing as conspiracy theory. There can only be conspiracy fact."
Here are his finest "conspiracy facts":
"Gerald Ford was a 33rd degree Freemason, a member of the C.F.R. and the Bilderbergers, and was and is a brutal pedophile."
"The Illuminati established their American branch one month before the colonists declared their independence in 1776."
"[Eleanor] Roosevelt and Hillary [Clinton] both appear to come from major drug-running families!!"
"J.F.K. was killed because he had informed MJ-12 that he intended to reveal the presence of aliens to the American people (and not with the lies that NBC TV is showing with Dark Skies."
"The bitter winter of 1977-1978 in America, with its killer storms, was Weather Warfare controlled partly by Russian Cosmospheres and partly by our own Coastal Grid System. And it just happened to coincide with the efforts of a major gas lobby in Washington to de-regulate natural gas prices!!"
"The Global Controllers have been busy working on a plan which they call the Global Plan 2000, which indicates the year by which they fully intend to have the world enslaved unto them and operating under their One World Government."
"The Bolsheviks were not initially in control of the U.S. Government under the Reagan Administration. That changed, however, and they were back in control by December of 1981."
"How many of the multitudes appear to believe that a 9 to 5 job is the way to go, with a beer in front of the TV in the evening , and sports programs on Sunday afternoons? Sounds a lot like the Roman Empire before the collapse, don't you think?"
"When we finally actually enter the Photon Belt, we will feel a slight jolt or shock, similar to putting your finger in a light socket. In that instant you will have changed from a Corporeal person to an Atmospherean person, if your body can make the change. If you cannot, no need to worry, it's guaranteed to be interesting no matter what happens."
And here's his wildest idea of all:
"This book could well be an important new textbook for all high schools in America."
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The truth is ugly. You all act, as if, this man's ideas are far-fetched, and this is, precisely, my point. Most of you consider yourselves, PERSONS, as in: PERSONA, as in: 'actor,' as in: You wear a 'mask,' and 'act.' You act; every day of your lives because you have very little imagination. If the Homo Sapien mind can envision it, then why can't it come to fruition, eventually? This, rhetorical question, applies to any and every idea, within collective consciousness, sub-consciousness, and superconsciousness, respectively. Please, take time, to familiarize yourselves with 'Murphy's Law.' I guarantee, that most of you will, continue to, hide, behind your 'online persona,' and respective pseudonyms, and distort, as well as depricate my "post," and every, subsequent, post that doesn't conform to your neurotic, compartmentalized notions of 'Western Democracy,' and that's okay. Although, I assure you, that every word, which I type - I say, out loud, to everyone who knows me. My behavior is consistent, with these words, and I have become very familiar with the inside of a "cage," as a result. This brings me, to an ancillary idea: that the restrictive constructs of written language, particularly the English(Anglaise) language, have bred, an entire generation of cowardly conformists, who don't have the testicles, to boldly, walk into a "courtroom," remain standing, look a "judge," square in his/her face, and reveal absolute truth. Have you, ever, noticed how the Irish, Scottish, and Vikings had no, official, written language? You cannot just, waltz on down, to your local library, and learn ancient Gaelic. In fact, the Vikings created a name for anybody, who recorded their "own," official language on paper. The phrase is "skomm." Yes, this is the derivation of "scum." All the Vikings ever did, was kick a$$, and take names, and these mighty warriors considered, most of, civilization, at that time, to be "scum." I can, only, imagine, what they would say, now. If you were to visit, www.ucadia.org, then you will know the absolute truth. If you don't, then you don't.
I believe I read somewhere that the Texas Board of Education approved this book for all Texas classrooms.
At the bottom of a recent post I found this: Ray Bilger [rb888us@yahoo.com] is a freelance writer and investigative journalist. Mr Bilger�s articles are first published at The Loop Newspaper in Tehachapi, CA.
The post is here - http://www.tenthamendmentcente... BTW - The Tenth Amendment Center appears to be a 'Tea Party' organization.
Pitch, please, I beg of you, dispatch someone to find Mr. Bilger for an update of his textbook.
Wow, I don't want to know what's going to happen if my body can't make the change to an atmospherean person.
"Clown-tongue bidet!" I Googled it, and it comes up clean . . . nobody has ever been depraved enough to put those words together before. Heck of a job, Crappy!
[KNOCK KNOCK]
Q:Who is there?
A:New World Order.
Q:New World Order who?
A:[DRUMS FINGERTIPS TOGETHER] Aaaaaah yessss, our plan isss vorking!
Its funny how they are all pedophiles, like the videos with a twisted humour in the end , http://www.onlyrooms.com/en/ho...
It always seemed plausible that George Orwell might have had sex with Al Gore, but realizing that offspring were produced makes one want to wash their mind out in the clown tongue bidet.
Anyway, it really does seem that Global Plan 2000 was a complete success in the United States.
Cobra, I should have pointed out that the "1492 to 1963" subtitle seems to have been more of a guideline for Bilger than a rule.
And Bilger doesn't care much for guidelines.
A better subtitle might have been:
"1492 to 1500 or so, then 1775 - 1778, then 1918 - 1996 in no particular order."
But he does make the Kennedy assassination the last thing in the book.
If the title is The Untold History of America: 1492 - 1963, how does it talk about Gerald Ford, Hillary Clinton and winter storms in the 1970's?
Did you also buy volume II?
You have no idea how often I've watched a football game, beer in hand, and thought of the fall of the Empire.
Oh, how I long for the salad days of Tiberius and Nero, as I contemplate how we're metaphorically fiddling away in front of the TV as our democracy burns.
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