Friday, September 24, 2010

PETA brings giant condoms to Plaza to help control the pet population

Posted by Mandy Oaklander on Fri, Sep 24, 2010 at 4:02 PM

"Put condoms on your dog!" "But that makes no sense?"
  • "Put condoms on your dog!" "But that makes no sense?"
"Put condoms on your dog!" "But that makes no sense?"
Two Magnum-sized dancing condoms took over a sidewalk on the Plaza today, advocating for protected rough, hot, animal sex. We're talking pussy-on-pussy and doggy-style animal sex. "Dogs and cats can't wear condoms!" PETA campaigners yelled at passersby, in one of the organization's least logical and least naked protests to date. "Get your pets spayed or neutered!"

Three Canadians walked by and seemed disappointed that the dancing

condoms weren't dispensing miniature versions of themselves for men. But

one seemed surprised to learn that dogs and cats can't wear condoms:

"There's no prototype yet?" he asked in his jocular French accent. He

then grabbed one of the furry condoms while his friend snapped an

exuberant pic, and they scampered away, pamphlet-less.

Another man in a Polo tucked into his khaki shorts refused the PETA reading material but asked where Eddie Bauer was.

But PETA campaigner Virginia Fort was determined to deliver the message.

Whenever people stopped to play with the condoms, Fort plied them with

animal birth control pamphlets that featured, appropriately, a wiener dog. "Six to eight million unwanted dogs and cats end up in animal

shelters each year," she said, adding that half of those are euthanized

just to make room for more. "It's important that our animals aren't

adding to our global overpopulation crisis."

There's no state more overrun by dogs than Missouri, which is known as

the puppy mill capital of America.  Things might be getting better: the

Missouri Puppy Mill Act is coming up on the November ballot. If

passed, it will require breeders to meet basic standards of care for

their animals and limit breeding numbers. But PETA doesn't condone ever

buying from a breeder.

"Every time you buy at the pet store, you're

essentially killing an animal in the shelter," Fort said. Supporting the breeding

industry is not the answer."

Making eunuchs of your pets is. If only animals had the

opposable thumbs to open the wrappers, they could be exposed to all the

pleasures of condoms. Pinky, half of the

bouncing contraceptive pair on the sidewalk, said she enjoyed playing the role of rubber. "Oh, feels great!" squeaked the little voice from

inside the plush plus-sized penis. "Condoms feel awesome! Too bad animals can't

wear them so we have to spay and neuter!"

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