You remember how last year every nerd was running around talking about how James Cameron changed cinema with Avatar and that they couldn't bear to live in the real world anymore because it wasn't as beautiful as Pandora? Hey Cameron, I've got some news! Did you know that Darren Aronofsky just took that technology you spent 10 years working on and made it look like 162 minutes of Danny Devito sitting on the toilet while eating KFC Extra Crispy out of the bucket? And that someone smeared vaseline on the camera lens? That's what just happened. Because I've seen how to make real beauty on screen, and it's Mila Kunis burying her face in Natalie Portman's muff. BOOM!
I mean the scene starts and you think, well surely the camera's going to cut away or fade out or something but it doesn't. I mean it's right up in there. And then Natalie Portman's rolling around and you figure she'll stop it because her character is sort of uptight and virginal but then Mila Kunis is tearing panties and this shit is happening for real. And I look over at the girl I came with, and she's got her sweater pulled up over her nose like she's going to rob a train, and her eyes are huge and she clearly can't believe it either. This is graphic. Wow. The audience is totally silent because while we're not sure whether Natalie Portman is actually changing into a swan in some sort of Kafka-esque metamorphosis as an expression of her psychological turmoil, Mila definitely just slipped a finger in there.
People are going to write songs about this.
So, in conclusion, thumbs up. Eat it, Shawn Edwards.
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The Black Swan: A Lesson in Parent/Child Relationships
http://www.psychology-advice.n...
Hahahhaah I love what Nathalie Portman's mom,dad and muff are saying hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!
Swede,
Its just that we are not used to seeing naked girls with out 3 guys simultaneously porking them and 10 guys ejaculating on them.
Swede,
No Our girls don't sit in the park topless like your babes do.
In the US, females don't have nipples or muffs. They are all like Barbie dolls.
I am very proud of the work my puss did in this picture. Candidly, its going to be hard to be humble after this review! I knew a lot of dudes wanted to boink me, but this review makes it clear I am one hot piece of ass!
Thank you Peter Rugg! You are sooooo sweet!
Nat
Best. Review. EVAR.
I'll be in my bunk.
And to all the critics of this critic, get the sand out of your collective vaginas. Sheesh. Really, people. Instead of having to act all pretentious and artsy when watching two hot babes getting it on, we FINALLY have a reviewer who WRITES what most of the (straight male) audience is THINKING. Good on ya, mate.
This is the most beautiful thing written about cinema that I've ever read. It was so moving, it brought a tear to my.
When Jodie Foster said "They should've sent a poet" in Contact, this is what she was talking about.
Awesome, Peter. I wasn't going to see this, but you've turned my head around on this whole thing.
Cartman: My mom told me to be a lesbian you have to lick carpet.
While I'm sure this review is both serious and saterical at the sime time you people need to lighten up. It was funny and made me almost spit my drink all over my laptop and now people in the resturant are looking at me funny.
It's humor. If you don't like it move along.
Can we get a time stamp for the scene so we know exactly when to show up? Don't need plot. would ruin it.
That was the best move review ever written. I will pay money for this movie - SOLELY BASED off this review.
people hatin' on this review need to break beyond the impossible and lighten the fuck up.
sorry not everyone is as pretentious and pompous as you dick holes, but big P. and his lunatics here know how to have a good fuckin' time.
real talk. take that facetious shit outta here.
Duuuuude, this has got to be the most valuable, mature and well developed review...in the world. Love it.
I don't care if its not the best review in the world, that summed up enough of a reason for me to go see this.
Pete,
People have to pay money to laugh as hard as I did after reading this.
Thanks.
Pete, man.. Are you actually old enough to write a review for an R movie? It doesn't sound like it. But.. I agree with Greg.
I hate ballet, but.. I'll go just for this scene. I'd do either one of them.
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