Plog: First of all we should say up front that we paid for this interview, which we don't normally do. We felt it was important enough. Besides, three loose cigs and a case of Fat Tire seemed reasonable.
Sueko the Rampaging Monkey: Yeah, good to be upfront about it. I hope people understand. I can't turn over trash cans sober, so I certainly should be expected to be sober when I talk about it.
P: So while we're getting the tough stuff out of the way: Was it real? Are did we all get duped again, like Balloon Boy or all six seasons of Lost?
STRM: I guess I would say ... I mean, what is real, anyway? Am I really a chimpanzee? Yes, I believe I am. Did I really run around the streets of Kansas City on Tuesday, October 19, 2010, sending half of Facebook into frenzy of lousy monkey jokes? Indeed. Am I really hoping to use this to score a date with that cute weather lady on KCTV? Most certainly.
P: Yeah, she's sneaky hot. (Fist bump). But what I mean is, was it really a "rampage?" Was anyone ever in danger, or were you in control at all times?
STRM: Dude, I'm a monkey. I throw my poop. You think that was some sort of performance art? Who do I look like, James Franco?
P: A little, yeah.
STRM: You think so? Really?
P: Yeah. Remember that scene in Pinapple Express, where he hits the guy over the head with a bong? I can see you --
STRM: That was Seth Rogen.
P: Yeah, yeah! Seth Rogen! You look like that guy.
STRM: (opens beer) Fuck my life.