The family of basketball founder James Naismith needs some cash for its foundation, so it's getting ready to auction off the first-ever rules of basketball -- 13 guidelines that cover dribbling, passing, and, rule No. 7, never fucking over your hometown during a nationally televised special.
But the story of the rules, as told by the New York Times, takes a bizarre tour through Kansas, where the rules apparently almost wound up in the hands of an excessively busty -- and attentive -- waitress. To the block-quote mobile!
Sotheby's and (grandson Ian) Naismith said that had have no doubt that it wasauthentic. Naismith said the only time the two pages had been out of the
family's possession or not in a bank vault was during the 27 years it
sat undisplayed at the old Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame in
Springfield, and the brief time he allowed it to be shown in the Hall's
new building.
Of course, there was the time that he thought he'd left them in aHooters in Kansas City, Kan., in a fireproof metal briefcase. He was in
Lawrence and realized he could not find the briefcase in his van,
thinking he'd left it on a stool in a men's room near a pay phone. He
called the restaurant where a waitress assured him he'd left with it.
Sure enough, he found it under a seat in the back of the van.
And now they'll be auctioned off to the highest bidder -- which will not, it seems, be the Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, Massachusates, where Naismith founded America's national pastime, provided you prefer tour pastimes with Drake playing in the background and unicycling ladies flipping cups onto their heads.
Who will buy the rules? We'll find out in December, when Sotheby's expects to sell them for at least $2 million. Here's hoping Hooters, Inc. is feeling flush these days.
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