Displaying a craven distrust in the power of a deity they claim to worship as an omnipotent omniscient master, members of the Westboro Baptist Church fled from an angry mob Tuesday morning.
In recent years the church has made headlines by attributing celebrity deaths and natural disasters to the unknowable will of an all powerful God displeased by a wicked world. However, when confronted by the angry shouts of a few dozen Missourians, the group crammed themselves into a van and sped away to hide rather than trust in Jesus Christ and his flaming sword of justice.
Westboro Baptist Church was tested when they attempted to picket the funeral of Jacob Carver in Harrisonville.
Carver, 20, was killed in Afghanistan by a suicide bomber. Ironically, Carver's murderer was a religious fanatic so convinced of his righteousness he was willing to dynamite himself. Westboro Baptist, on the other hand, was reduced to hiding behind police officers who only protected them because they were paid to do so.
The Kansas church was met by members of the Patriot Guard and other volunteers, who formed a human wall preventing WBC from getting close to the funeral. Shouting escalated on both sides. Finally, fearing they would be forced into an eternity of unfathomable love and wisdom with the Heavenly Father, the church members ran to hide inside a black GMC Safari. Then they went home where no one could bother them.
Jesus Christ -- weeping and confused at the cowardice of those who should know that all things are possible through him -- could not be reached for comment.