Every time Missouri state Rep. Cynthia Davis sends out her Capitol Report, it seems that our inbox dings a bit more cheerily than usual. We know we're in for a good time when the subject is "The TSA Pat Down" -- Cynthia Davis style.
She is incredulous at the fact that outside of O'Fallon, nobody knows who she is.
Are they really afraid that a member of the Missouri State Legislature is going to perform an act of terrorism and suicide? I think not.But Davis is out to rectify that injustice, damn it, and proposes a solution for people, like herself, that are above reproach terroristically. She calls them "frequent flyers"--also known as rich white people -- and their employees. Instead of going through security, she suggests that a "simple fingerprint or iris scan upon boarding is all that is necessary to prove your identity" if you're a part of this WASPy cadre.
Because her progressive measures have not yet been adopted by airports,
Davis wrote that she had to undergo the trauma of a "personal body search,"
which was when she realized that the terrorists had won:
TheHey, TSA: Cynthia Davis wants to know why you insist on feelin' on her booty and letting all those swarthy Muslims go unmolested. You knew it was coming:
fact that our citizens are now being violated by body searches when
they want to fly, and the fact that we are violating our own
constitution to accomplish this, is a form of victory for the terrorists
Greater scrutiny of those who buy one way tickets, pay with cash and originate from nations that are hostile toward us would make a lot more sense than our own government violating our citizens in the name of enhanced pseudo-safety.But why stop at the red flags? Let's condemn an entire swath of people:
There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that the acts of terrorism were executed by Muslim men trying to kill Americans because of their religion. The Muslim religion teaches world domination and there is a historical record of them brutally killing their opponents, so this is nothing unusual. The men who blew up our buildings on September 11th, acted out of sincere dedication to their religion.Davis' misunderstanding of Islam is the lowest, saddest part of the letter. Thankfully, Davis wraps it up with a little ditty about her favorite subject: her sexual wiles.
Even though St. Louis does not have an international airport, they always give me the hand patting because I wear skirts. In Washington D.C., I wore the exact same skirt and even used my concealed weapon permit for my identification and they didn't feel it necessary to pull me out of the line, X-ray or naked-body scan me or physically touch me.Patting, skirt-wearing, weapons, naked-body ... way to save the best paragraph for last. Sounds like the beginning of a new genre of story: legislat-erotica. Thanks again, Cynthia Davis.