On the subject of boozing MU students, the school administration would like to remind you that just because the number of students referred to administrators for suspected alcohol violations doubled from 2008 to 2009, it doesn't mean that more kids are drinking. It's completely possible that they've just gotten really bad at hiding it. Possibly because they're drunk.
School officials are scrambling to do PR damage control after a report showed that referrals for suspicion of violation alcohol policies went from 430 in 2008 to a staggering (and I mean that literally, as each of these students was three sheets to the wind) 883 Tigers in 2009.
"I think if anything, what this says is that Residential Life staff is not ignoring situations of concern in the residential halls," silver-lining spotter and associate director of residential life Kristen Temple told the Columbia Daily Tribune.
There's the it's-not-more-kids-getting-dunk-just-more-drunks-getting-caught defense. Is there another explanation, besides just saying that kids at Mizzou were always getting fucked up?
There is! School officials would also like to remind people that in 2009 three new residential halls opened, so there were a lot more students living on campus that otherwise wouldn't be violating alcohol policy. Also, while the 2008-09 numbers went up, the 2008 number itself was actually down from the 631 students referred in 2007. So these things fluctuate. Since stats aren't released very close to the years in question, it's also difficult to mount immediate policy changes that would actually help the situation -- but since the situation boils down to "College Kids Love Booze," it's hard to say just what the school would do.
Right now the school operates under a three strikes policy: First referral you get alcohol education, second time you get probation and a letter to your parents, and on the third you're temporarily kicked out of campus housing. Basically you go crash at a friend's place and get wasted without worrying about a surprise RA inspection. Maybe even do some blow! I mean, drugs on campus would be way more serious, so as long as you're off campus, it's cool. Also consider that in 2009, 102 students were actually arrested for alcohol infringements, which was down from 120 in 2008, so at least they're getting better about stumbling home safely.
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Those crazy Missouri students. I thought it was just the football players who got alcohol violations.
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