Sick and tired of everyone stereotyping Kansas as an anything-goes pansexual pleasure palace, lawmakers are finally taking a stand to regulate strip clubs and adult bookstores.
The newly proposed "Community Defense Act" -- which makes it sound as if huge rogue titties are rolling over innocent citizens in the street -- would restrict new adult businesses from opening
within 1,000 feet of a school, park, library or residence; would force them to close at midnight; and would ban alcohol sales and prohibit physical contact between dancers and customers.
The Kansas bill is incredibly similar to the one introduced and pushed through in Missouri last year by former Lee's Summit lawmaker Matt Bartle. (Check out the feature "Exit Boobies" for more on that.) As you probably know by now, Missouri's new laws have cost hundreds of jobs at clubs and bookstores across the state and forced several strip clubs to close. That fight is still far from over, though, and clubs plan to take their case to the state Supreme Court.
As was also the case when fighting over Bartle's bill, supporters of the Kansas law claim that adult businesses are responsible for every evil of society. The Star quoted Abilene man Phillip Cosby as saying the businesses were responsible for "rape, child pornography, child abductions, urban blight, rising rates of sexually transmitted disease, fantasy rape, and even murder." It's like how, in the Bible, John the Baptist would've been fine if it hadn't been for that hussy Salome.
(If you're in a church group and you agree with the bill and you had to Google "Salome" just now ... I hope you realized that a Pitch writer knows more about the Bible than you. Ha! Loser!)
Assuming that logic was correct, you'd think that Missouri would be a lot safer these days. But the funny thing is that the state's rate of child pornography, abductions, blight, STDs, murder, and rape have all stayed exactly the same as they were in the bad old days when you could walk into any strip club and see a nipple. Also, thousands of dollars in tax revenue have been lost! Weird, huh?
To be fair, I'm not sure how to measure "fantasy rape." But if you are fantasy raped, and you don't remember to pretend to use a fantasy contraceptive, you might end up with an imaginary fetus growing inside you. Kansas lawmakers have yet to regulate fantasy abortions, so if you don't want to bring the fake baby to term, remember that you can make-believe a termination all the way up to the fantasy third trimester. Wocka wocka wocka!
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Fantasy Rape? So when's the draft? Do we get prison rosters to choose from? And what is the payout since it could be years before they get a chance to make any plays?
Just what I thought too - some Religious Nut-Bag Zealot most likely a GOP Conserative Neo-Con Religious Fanatic on the Band Wagon to futher their Political Phony Agenda, at the Expense of everyone else ! These Clubs pay Taxes - Property Taxes - Income Taxes - license fee's - Liquor License Fees - enterainment license fees - Utilties - employ people - doormen - to bar tenders - to waitresses & Dancers & Security - their Jobs that will go away once these Religious Nut Bag Zealots attempt to Destroy them, so they can futher their Phony Corrupt Ridlicious Corrupt Political Agenda, on the back of others at their expense and demise as well ! Why aren't these Same Religious Zealous Whack-Jobs, worried about all the ILLEGALS in their state's - and the amount of Drugs and Drug Cartels , because their very Afraid, thats why to even touch base on that issue, so its easier to maybe find a weaker link in the chain, that'll futher their phony Political Agenda, without anyone catching on to or knowing what their really up to, and their phony ill Agenda ~! Why is it, all of a Sudden these Clubs are a problem, but they weren't say 10 - 15 even 20 years ago ?? Why Now -? All of a Sudden ?? ask em to explain that one, and ask em' how much actual Tax Revenue the states will lose once their closed - they won't have a true difintive answer - just fabricated lies and Rhetoric ~! Time to take a stand against these Phony Political Corrupt Creatures - and Kick em' right out of office !!!
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I wonder if the Waldo Rapist ever went to strip clubs? If not, parade his ass onto the house floor as a prime example of why strip clubs and sex crimes have no correlation at all.
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