Monday, March 14, 2011

Rightbloggers find the lesson of the Japanese disaster: We need more nuclear power plants! (Plus Obama sux!)

Posted By on Mon, Mar 14, 2011 at 1:00 PM

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Last week Japan was hit by earthquake, tsunami,

and volcano. As the country tries to come back from

this series of disasters, donations are pouring in from world citizens.

Rightbloggers are doing their part, too. They're using the catastrophe

as a teachable moment to explain that Obama sucks, global warming

doesn't exist, and what America needs now is more nuclear power plants.

We wish to state up front that we didn't find rightbloggers doing

the kind of karmic-payback-for-Pearl-Harbor nonsense reported here. That's not counting Republican Faith Chat ("IT'S NOT AS THOUGH GOD

HASN'T WARNED THE JAPS!"), The Good Kentuckian ("Well, maybe THAT is the real

reason Jesus punished Japan: Jesus hates socialism and big

government!"), and other sites that we're telling ourselves must be


At the hour of Japan's need, the more devout among the brethren turned

to the comfort of religion. "Christians - Believers - BE WARNED,"

advised Pastor Lee at Conservative Patriot. "The earth has

shifted on its axis; time is affected; Japan has moved 8 feet and

experienced a drastic change in its coastline..."

Plus Egypt, Libya, etc. "I do not wish to be seen as a scare manger,"

said the pastor, "but I am firmly convinced that the dangers of

destruction are at hand. Factually MEGA earthquakes are predicted in the

U.S. within the month of March...this very year! Read my posting and

see what experts say!" (We think he means this, inspired by a story in the European Union Times, which isn't the most reliable source in the world.)

"I am one of God's Watchmen," the pastor then informed us. "I know of

many of His Watchmen and we are of one accord. You, yes YOU must be

prepared for at any moment you may be called upon by others for their

very earthly existence." God, it's worse than anyone thought! We -- Oh,

wait, someone tells us we can relax, the pastor is just talking about


No rightblogger political discussion is complete without explanations as

to how Obama is to blame and/or inept. At Andrew Breitbart's Big Peace,

Charles C. Johnson proposed some "Lessons for

Obama," hearkening back to a previous Japanese earthquake and President

Calvin Coolidge, a conservative hero frequently lauded by the brethren for his

ultra-small-government Administration.

"The left often dismisses Calvin Coolidge for not being activist enough

in forcing Americans to submit to their favorite charity -- government,"

said Johnson. "But when it came to real charity... Coolidge acted



disaster on the watch of the Kenyan Pretender.


asked Americans to donate money to relieve the earthquake-stricken

Japanese in 1923, rather than using ill-gotten tax receipts as Obama has done. But it wasn't a totally

small-government outreach: Instead of just mailing the money to Japan

and then taking a nap, Coolidge sent the U.S. Navy, which was funded by

the U.S. Treasury rather than by citizen donations. Also, the Navy and

the U.S. Army contributed supplies of their own.

What lessons then should Obama take from Coolidge? " scuttling the

Navy in recent years," said Johnson, "Obama does the world a great

disservice." Johnson then praised Coolidge's decision to pour more of

the people's money into cruisers and aircraft carriers. "We rightly

gripe about how our allies are offloading the cost of the world's

security onto our backs," Johnson closes, "but if it were not for us,

who would answer the call?"

So, Obama errs in not practicing the muscular Big Government activism of

Calvin Coolidge. The poor guy can't win.

Also, "President Useless Decides to Golf While Japan

Burns," "Our president just voted 'present.' This is a disgrace beyond compare," etc.

Some rightbloggers were inspired by the carnage and destruction to

flights of poesy. For example, Pajamas Media's Richard Fernandez composed an Ode to Godzilla: "If

America was Godzilla, has the scaly beast fallen on hard times?" he

wrote. "Or has it simply been eaten or replaced by an even greater

monster: Tyrannosaurus Debt?" He also quoted Yeats, which offered

momentary relief.

We're also not sure what to make of the intramural squabble between the Libertarian Patriot and the Wall Street Journal,

which paper Libertarian Patriot said "seems to suggest that Japan's

floundering economy could see benefit in the destruction... Certainly it

is in poor taste to even broach this subject but this is how Keynesians

think; steal from the masses and use the proceeds to fund government

projects... progressives always look for some silver lining in a tragedy

as a way to expand their big government, socialistic beliefs." Wait --

Rupert Murdoch's Wall Street Journal is Keynesian and

progressive? When did this happen? Readers, please advise.

Some certified rightbloggers were also accused of wrongspeak. "Stacy

McCain and Matt Drudge decided to found their new grassroots

organization, 'Citizens for Nuclear Hysteria and Higher-Priced

Electricity,' lamented Little Miss Attila. "Because who cares about the

future, when you can get internet traffic now?"

As you may have guessed, Little Miss Attila was referring to the nuclear reactor issues that emerged as Japan's

plants reeled from the quake. (We guess she thinks the future would be

better off if we kept our mouths shut about these things.)

At this writing there is some disagreement as to how bad the nuclear situation

really is, and we certainly hope the optimists are right.

In any case, the constant repetition of words like "meltdown" and

"radioactive steam" probably alarmed people, and rightbloggers wanted to

make it clear that even if a Japanese reactor melted down to the center

of the earth, that would be no reason to abandon the conservative dream

of more nuclear plants in the United States.

"As Japan continues to deal with an unimaginably strong earthquake and

then a devastating tsunami caused by that quake," said Neil Stevens of RedState, "I hope nobody takes

those special circumstances and tries to argue against clean, effective

power generation technology in the general case."

Of course it

couldn't happen again. The Ukraine is no longer communist!


Pet Jawa looked on the bright side: "..even in a plausible worst

case scenario a meltdown here probably wouldn't be nearly as bad as

Chernobyl." Well, that's a relief.

The Fukushima No. 1 reactor was only in "subcritical" mode, reported Flopping Aces, though "some media have been

reporting the same news, but with a more hysterical tabloid headline,

'3000 flee Japan's nuclear RED ALERT.' (That headline was from Rupert Murdoch's The Sun in

London. Jeez, maybe Murdoch has gone lefty on us!)

Anyway, Flopping Aces was concerned that "politics and energy agenda has

begun to enter the picture," and wanted their readers to know that

"nuclear power is clean, also affordable, and if Japan can demonstrate

containment and success - even in such an earthquake volatile region of

the world - then abandoning this type of energy using fear tactics is

simply despicable," which we're sure they meant in a totally

non-political way.

"Obviously, as one cruises around the Liberal-o-sphere, this means that

all nuclear power is bad and that it should all be stopped, and,

instead, we can go with wind and solar for all our power," speculated Stop The ACLU. "...of course, I wonder how those

methods would have stood up with an earthquake and tsunami knocking them

down, breaking the wind turbines and solar panels, covering them with

water, and flooding the storage batteries." Then there'd be a solar

meltdown, and it would be the fault of you liberals!

"I still say nuclear energy needs to be strongly promoted here in the

states," said Jeff Godlstein of Protein Wisdom. "And I suspect we

can use what we learn from Japan to better the containment and cooling

technology." And if we open more nuclear plants here, we can have many

more such learning experiences, and at first hand.

"Might as well say goodbye to any new nuke plants in the US in the

immediate future," sighed Baron Von Ottomatic of Wizbang. But he found a

silver lining: "Of course, even the greenies aren't too fond of the

alternatives," referring to some people's discomfort with wind turbines.

Then he joked about "Lady Obama's Your Kid's Too Fat thing," and


Another thing rightbloggers want you to understand is that so-called

climate change had nothing to do with these disasters, nor with any


Christopher Mims had quoted Bill McGuire of

University College London and David Pyle of Oxford on the possible

connection between climate change and tsunamis. He wound up amending and

explaining his text ("The intent of this piece isn't to attribute

today's tragedy to climate change") after the angry denunciations

started rolling in.

The Lonely Conservative explained what was wrong

with Mims' article: "The writer failed to mention that climate alarmism

is big business," he wrote. "Of course they aren't going to let a

disaster go to waste, there's money to be made." (Also: "Let's not

forget George Soros." And finally, "How shameful to try to profit off a

disaster that's brought about so much pain and suffering.")

Don Surber took a scientific approach, saying people

who connected global catastrophes with climate change were "mentally

ill." Among his other data: "This is nutty. These frauds have no idea of

what they are talking about. The Earth isn't held together by layers of

ice that work like duct tape. Goodness are they dumb." QED!

"In fact, this is not the first time earthquakes have been blamed by the

Shamanistic, Magical-Thinking Left on the all-purpose Zeus-substitute

of global warming," said Ace of Spades, taking his customary theological


And so as Japan battled the elements, rightbloggers stood firewatch over

whatever of their cherished beliefs might be challenged by events.

Their responses were rapid and revealing. When Brad Friedman,

for example, noticed that modern Republicans are against the kind of

government regulations that made sure Japanese skyscrapers were built to

stand up to disasters like this, Jammie Wearing Fool sprang into action. "Idiot

Lefty Blogger: Republicans Don't Want Quake-Proof Buildings or

Something," he roared, and reminded readers that Ronald Reagan had

established a Governor's Earthquake Council for California in 1972 --

proof, if further were needed, that Big-Gummint Reagan could never get

the Republican Presidential nomination today, thanks to people like


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