Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Todd Akin's 'true patriots' don't stand a chance against Hulk Hogan's 'real Americans'

Posted by Justin Kendall on Tue, Mar 15, 2011 at 8:00 AM

click to enlarge Todd Akin remembers the storming of the beaches of the U.S. House. Why don't you?
  • Todd Akin remembers the storming of the beaches of the U.S. House. Why don't you?

Congressman Todd Akin must think Republicans retaking the House looked something like Saving Private Ryan. Do you remember when the patriots stormed the beaches and retook the House? I don't either. But in Akin's cinematic (and imaginative) mind, that's what happened. I'm sure he re-enacted it with his GI Joes.

Akin put all of this on display in an ad in the program for the St. Charles County Lincoln Day. Akin packed the ad with crazy talk of "undiluted Democrat tyranny" and "socialization of health care." But if we learned anything from the '80s, it's that real Americans shouldn't put up with shit like this. 



click to enlarge I am a real American ...
  • I am a real American ...
Yes, the Hulk Hogan who isn't really playing guitar in the photo on the right. But first, here's the full text of the Akin ad in which he believes that apostrophes, the letter "g," and correct spelling and grammar are for liberal bitches (hat tip to Fired Up! Missouri):
It's time for TAKIN Back America!

For two years, America has tasted undiluted Democrat tyranny -- compromised National Security, plundered economy, stalled job creation, spiralling [sic] red tape and spending, socialization of health care, yearly tripling of the worst Bush deficit...

But now, Patriots have come to full alert. Broadcast media is no longer the dominant source of news. Big government excesses are brought to light as citizens are educated and organized for action.

In November, the prayers, hard work, and sacrifices of Patriots paid off. The beaches were stormed and the first line of defense was established -- a strong conservative House.

Soon we must advance again, taking both the Senate and White House. Now is the time for true Patriots to prepare. Time is short and America cannot long sustain the damage she is taking.

To those of you heeding the call -- thank you. May God Himself give you strength!


Who exactly qualifies as a "true patriot"? Akin would probably leave a lot of us out. Time for everyone who doesn't fit into Akin's toy box of "true patriots" to start calling themselves "real Americans," brother. Take it back, just like the Hulkster did when he beat America's enemies the Iron Sheik and pro-Iraq Sgt. Slaughter. Then, just like at the 2:20 mark of the video below, we'll hold up a photo of Muammar Qaddafi ...

hulk_hogan_Muammar_Gaddafi.jpg

crumple it up ...

hulk3.jpg

tear off our T-shirts ...

hulk4.jpg

and flex our 24-inch pythons ...

hulk5.jpg

Rick Derringer, hit our music.
 


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